I want to cunt private reg plates and the wankers that buy them.
Never understood the appeal in them…in the first instance it smacks of someone so vain and insecure that they want to hide the age of their car from the average Joe (as we know, only thick cunts buy new cars anyway). Then you have the bell ends that plaster some silly nickname on it like SM1THY or J0N3SEY, almost always a self given nickname that absolutely no one ever calls them. My brother is one such tosser, giving himself the reg BO55 CHCS, just to remind everyone he runs his own small business. Utter self obsessed buffoon that he is.
Most people would never dream of stitching their name or nickname on to their trainers or their T-shirt (because you’d rightly assume you look like a right dickhead)….so why is it acceptable to do it on a car? Not to mention for a half decent one you’re often in the region of thousands of pounds.
Such tragic, attention seeking behaviour, well and truly the domain of small dicked posers, absolutely desperate for someone to notice they exist. So if you have one…..be under no illusions that you are indeed a CUNT.

Nominated by The Ghost of Glauber Berti

A nomination for crap cover versions of crap songs. Too many to mention, but in my opinion, top of the list must be UB40 with the dreadful ‘I got you babe’ and ‘Red red wine’. More like whine, as that’s how the lead ‘singer’ of that crap group used to ‘sing’ .

Nominated by Mystic Maven

May I respectfully suggest a special throw-away colour supplement cunting column for that ragbag of eleven masturbatory self-serving, rictus grinning arseholes currently going by the name “The Independent Group” (a branch of Gavin Shuker Enterprises/Gemini A Ltd). A more suitable name could be either The Chuka Umunna Vanity Project or The Blair Memorial Group.

Soubry and the other two Tory tarts who defected yesterday sounded like a group of giggly actresses. Soubry referred to “my good friend, my *very* good friend Chuka” (watch out Mrs. Umunna, his beard, er, sorry, wife), I have a feeling the frustrated old cow is after your old man (will you fuck me, Chukaboy, will you take my knickers down, down a dark alley where nobody goes?). Could lust be in the air.

This stupid group of malcontents is going nowhere, probably forgotten in a few weeks time, but while it is on life support, courtesy of our soap obsessed press, the question is, who will next to jump ship? (probably on Saturday to maximise the Sunday press and TV shows).

My guess is Dominic Grieve, the raddled looking old woman, who is pissing his knickers at the thought of a no deal Brexit.

Come to think of it perhaps they should call the group “The Old Women’s Club”

Fuck them.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Griefjacking
We get used to scenes of flowers and tears whenever (daily, just about) a budding architect is offed by another budding architect.
However, the scenes at Cardiff Football club following the sad and tragic loss of Emiliano Sala take the biscuit.
‘Once a Bluebird always a Bluebird’ flowers and tributes piled high.

You can only imagine the level of grief if this unfortunate young man had ever played or even trained at the club.

I blame the Fiat in the tunnel with the Duke driving. Oh, and a pissed up drug addled chauffeur combined with a lack of seatbelts.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Danny Dire
We’ve all become familiar with The Great Shamima Begum Debate of late. Begum notoriously wants to return to the UK after fleeing to Syria at the age of 15 to become a jihadi bride.
‘A’ list celebrity and heavyweight political commentator Danny Dire is the latest intellectual to offer his opinion on the subject to the Great British Public. Speaking on ‘Good Morning Britain’, Dire was asked if he thought that Begum should be allowed to return. ‘Yeh ah do’, replied the Oscar winning actor and PhD in International Affairs. ‘Being radicalised and jumpin’ on a plane to Syria, I don’t understand what’s goin’ on there…’.
Well let me explain what’s gone on, Danny. She, er, jumped on a plane and flew off to become a jihadi bride. When in Syria, she conceived three times, has just given birth in a refugee camp, and wants the sprog to get proper care. She now thinks that she should be allowed to come ‘home’ on the basis that ‘a lot of people should have sympathy for me’. Mmm. Sympathy for the woman who told Sky News that she was aware of ISIS carrying out beheadings, and that she ‘was ok with it’? She’s also reported to have said that the Manchester Arena bombing was ‘in retaliation’ and ‘justified’.  I don’t think that the country will buy the idea of her coming back. She supported a terrorist organisation and to date has shown no remorse for her actions. A real solid citizen, this girl.
Here’s the thing then, Danny. If you’re so keen, you can keep and house her, and be responsible for her actions if she comes back. Just remember to sleep with one eye open. Or maybe it would be better if you stuck to acting, if what you do can actually be dignified by the use of that word. As it is, you just look and sound like another gobby, opinionated celebrity who doesn’t have much of an idea what he’s on about. Shut yer maaff mah san, and fack off back dahn ‘The Queen Vic’. As the saying goes, it’s better to remain silent and be thought a cunt than to speak and remove all doubt.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Danny Effin-Blinding Fuckin’ Dyuhh.
Why has this cunt jumped on the treacherous radicalised unrepentant vicious jihadi Shamima “schoolgirl”, I-fucked-a-murdering-convert-cunt-and-shat-on-my-country Begum?

Why is this toilet-mouthed Kockney Kunt defending someone who by her own admission, “wasn’t fazed by a beheaded head in a bin”? Why does this steaming pile of festering wank want someone who by her own admission supports “some” British values. Which one’s, historical Jew Hatred?, Capitulation to her fucking religion?, Free benefits for unrepentant parasitic scum?, Tolerance of the 7th century death cult in our midst?

What is it with wealthy lefty meejah luvvie cunts that from their secure gated communities are oh so tolerant of importing & imposing these cancers into our midst? Plus on so many occasions the same meejah and “celebrity” cunts turn up at some “Palestinian” flag waving, West/Jew/America/Israel/Capitalism “we are all Hamas”, IRA lauding leftist circle-wank-fest, rubbing shoulders with rabid Corbynista Momentum Brownshirts and their allied Postal Vote New Hansharr SS Divisions.

If Shamima the schoolgirl, lover of jihad, slavery, rape, murder and devastation, had been a bushy bearded male cunt, rather than a 19yr old female who can turn on the waterworks, I don’t think this utter utter pile of shit would give a fuck.

He should stick to what he does best, annoy the fuck out of us to the point we switch him off or change channels.

Rather than foist the Begum cancer and sprog on us, housed and paid out of my fucking TAX, perhaps Effin-Blinding Dyer can do the decent thing, convert to Islam and marry her, paying for it with his own fucking money.

Bloody hell, these festering luvvie CUNTS make me puke my guts up and by the smell, much boiling of piss from others overheated bladders.

Danny Dyer, Nobel CUNT Prize.

Nominated by Sheikh Anvakh