Most people will be familiar with Orwell’s nightmarish dystopian novel 1984, and will recall the horrendous moment when Winston Smith is forced to confront his greatest fear in Room 101.

Rats.

A couple of days ago I got a taste of Smith’s revulsion when walking in my local park at the onset of twilight. Following the course of the brook, I was suddenly confronted by a line of half a dozen of these verminous, greasy-looking bastards almost under my nose. Within seconds they had scrambled madly off into the undergrowth and disappeared, leaving me to continue along the path with a shudder and a longing for an air rifle.

The demolition of some abandoned school buildings has begun nearby, and I reckon that the disturbance panicked the horrible cunts and forced them to break cover. God knows how many millions of the pestilential fuckers there are in existence, but they’ve been spreading destruction and disease from here to Timbuktu and back for as long as anyone can remember.
Next day I met a friend for coffee, and related the unsavoury experience to him. Lo and behold, I found the undernoted from him in my e-mail later.

I must admit that it’s enormously satisfying to watch these fat cunts get popped. It’s guilt-free hunting. Nice shootin’ guys, and keep up the good work. The more of these bastards that get wasted the better. Death to rat cunts everywhere.

Nominated by Ron Knee

I have cunted these fuckers before but today the pen pushing, cowardly scum at the Crown Prosecution Service have decided to charge 1 ex soldier for a Bloody Sunday murder in 1972. How the fuck is this in the public interest when it wasn’t in the public interest to charge IRA members, some of whom were and are being paid as politicians by the state? Against whom there is more than sufficient evidence.
Fucking self serving vermin.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

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People who don’t like offal are cunts.

I enjoy some of the less popular cuts of meat… fried liver, devilled kidneys, tongue, lamb heart, tripe, and of course, sweetbreads.

I can, however, understand why these delicacies aren’t universally enjoyed. Most people lack the palate to appreciate “real” food. They are happy existing on their Richmond Sausages, Findus Burgers and Bernard Matthews Turkey-Twizzlers. One must not only be born with a fine palate ,but one must be raised correctly to appreciate proper food.
What really gets me is when benefit claimants and the like claim that they can’t afford “real” food… ridiculous!. There is nothing cheaper than offal at the butchers. I am aware that Lidl probably doesn’t carry a great selection of stuffed lambs’ hearts, but really, how hard would it be for these people to turn off The Jeremy Kyle Show and march their wobbly arses down to a decent butchers? The exercise and the improved diet would do wonders for them and their benefit-sponging offspring.

I will admit that I’m not partial to faggots,however.

Get Fucked.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Break dancing as an Olympic sport.
Proposed for the 2024 Olympics in Paris, some cunt has proposed this cuntish behaviour should be included.
I might have guessed the Frogs would have something to do with this stupidity.If there aren’t enough daft sports already contested, such as rhythmic gymnastics and artistic swimming.

It got me to thinking what new sports ISAC people would like to see included.
I’ll start by saying the old It’s a Knockout piano smashing contest should be bought back. Especially if a pianist such as Richard Clayderman or Gilbert O’Sullivan has to be fed through a one foot square hole along with the piano.

Nominated by Duke of Cuntshire