A lightweight cunting for a true lightweight of comedy.

Steve Coogan is back as Alan Partridge. I haven’t seen the show but the fucking trailer is on before every 6 oclock news. (‘My mouth is dry.’ My how I laughed)

This character was mildly amusing in small doses 20 odd years ago. Very small doses. Coogan has not actually developed or evolved in that time. The BBC is so bereft of talent, ideas and inspiration that Coogan can trot this same old tripe out yet again, which we pay for.

An unfunny irritating cunt.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Fat Birds in Leggings.
I’m no expert on women’s fashion, I just have an opinion on what looks good and what doesn’t. Leggings do not look good. The first time I saw a woman wearing them, I thought she’d forgotten to put a skirt on.
Plain leggings are bad enough. They look doubly bad when embellished with an esoteric design, or with studs or chains. Or when they’re cut off at shin length.
Undoubtedly however, leggings look grotesque on fat birds. There’s a woman who works in our local newsagents who’s about five foot two and about 22 or 23 stone, more than two of me. She wears black leggings that perpetually appear about to split, stretched as they are over thighs like giant hams and an arse like a monstrous peach. They’re so tight that they’re effectively see-through, giving us all a view of the equally ludicrous thong she wears underneath. Worst of all is that when the weather’s warm, we’re treated to the sight of the dark, moist patch of material around the top of her arse crack. It’s not a pretty sight, and there’s a lot of other lumps in leggings waddling and wobbling about.
Now some may accuse me of fat shaming, but that’s not my intention. I don’t care if there are women who want to go about like this, I merely wish to offer them a word to the wise. Leggings look cheap and chavvy as it is. Leggings plus morbid obesity does not a good ‘look’ make. Do yourselves a favour and lose the flab ladies; you’ll look and feel better, I’m sure. If you continue to wear leggings you’ll still look bad, but at least you won’t look like a fucking beached whale. The only place that a fat bird in leggings looks good is………………….in the distance.

Nominated by Ron Knee

RACHEL JOHNSON

An outsize bloomer cunting please for the sister of Boris Johnson. Not only is the frustrated ugly old hag a pain in the arse, she is a copycat of the worst sort, since she has followed th antics of the dirty-minged old bag “Dr” Victoria Bateman last week and appeared naked on TV.

Not only do the Remainers look desperate they also look physically repulsive and are clearly mentally derranged.

Which Remainer will be the be the next one to drop their drawers on TV? Dame Keir Starmer, Mincing Mandy, Chukaspear?.

What a steaming heap of turd they are

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/brexit-news-latest-moment-remain-campaigner-rachel-johnson-strips-off-on-sky-news-a4067476.html

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Lisa Nandy MP is an annoying cunt, isn’t she?.

The Labour MP for Wigan seems to be spend more time on the BBC’S QT than with her own constituents. There she was this week defending John McDonnell’s stinky opinions on Churchill in what must be Britain’s most nasal accent. Perhaps before kissing Corbyn’s arse she imbibes a canister of Helium for some kind of protection. Alas, if only sounding like Orville the Duck was her worst problem.

This whiny Manc has spent the last thirty months capitulating her pro-EU opinions to suddenly agree with the 65% of Wigan who voted to leave the Brussels Gangsters.

“So…Ah vor’ed Ru-miiin bu’ ah think wiv got to, you knoww, respec’ the will o’de peeplul” she says at every tv appearance, desperately endeavouring to stay in touch whilst lecturing us about asylum-seekers and quoting Polly fucking Toynbee.

She’s one of those infuriating cunts who commences every sentence with “So…” although with her perplexing lisp it’s “Tho…” Why hasn’t she grown out of this childish speech impediment? She’s like the irritating girl at Primary school who sat at the back, petulantly sighing, flicking her bogeys at the window and bewailing every task in her piercing Orville voice.

?”Ah wish I cud lie, pretend that I hate the EU…”
“You can.”
?”Ah caaaan”t.”

What the fuck does this prosaic tweenie know about anything? Just go away and let a grown-up take over. I wish this querulous, lispy, squealing Manc would take a vow of silence and ‘Pith riiight off.’
Cunt.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Sir Philip Green
He’s a bit of a lad, ain’t he just? ‘Phil Boy’ has kept us well entertained in recent times, with his duckin’ an’ divin’ darhn the financial market, wrecking the BHS pension fund and that. A proper card and no mistake.
Course, the lad’s got a reputation as a ladies’ man as well, and thanks to ‘The Stun’, his latest exploits in that regard have been revealed. Pictures in the rag show Green, 66, ‘stroking and tickling a woman while clutching a champagne bottle’. The twenty-something employee is referred to repeatedly in the video of events as ‘Naughty’, and is described in the article as ‘sitting uncomfortably on his lap’. Uncomfortable? Come on, darlin’. You should be delighted to be pawed and slobbered over by such a legendary Lothario.
Yet again, ‘Sir’ Phil has demonstrated the exceptional probity that remains the hallmark of both his business and personal life. Never was a knighthood more richly deserved. His wife and children must be so proud.

Nominated by Ron Knee