Change UK
It appears that breakaway party Change UK, sometime political home of such all out cunts as Spearchuka Umunna and Anna Sourpuss, is on the verge of becoming the Breakup Party.
Six rats, sorry MPs, have announced that they’re deserting the sinking ship after just a couple of months. According to reports in arsewipe comic The Groaningremoaniad, Chukup and Heidi ‘Sweet Tits’ Allen could defect to the LimpDumbs following Change UK’s disastrous performance in the European elections. No doubt they’ll receive a warm welcome from that old woman Vince ‘Widow Twankey’ Cable. It now seems that a rump of just five MPs will continue as party members under the ‘leadership’ (lol!) of Sourface herself, henceforth to be known no doubt as ‘Change Change UK’, or possibly ‘The Hokey Cokey Party’.
However way you cut this fellow cunters, I’d say that political oblivion is staring the wankstain Change UK party in the face. The prospect cheers me up no end. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of absolute and utter cunts.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Phillip Hammond is a cunt, isn’t he.

As the sands of time trickle out for this decrepit skeletal coward, there is one last chance to wheeze out a final blast of Project Fear before the pusillanimous cunt is booted out of his job. The sour odour farted from his mouth this time was that if no deal…..UK….blah…..26 billion….blah blah quid worse off…blah….disaster…. an amount probably cobbled together in the lift with the EU-funded CBI and Olly “I ❤ EU cock” Robbins, the parrot-faced traitorous cunt.

Old Bonejangles always had a sleepy countenance as he slumbered on the front bench while his boss, Zelda the Hunchback promised we’d be leaving/Brexit decision respected/other lies.

Make no bones about it, this humourless goon’s fear-mongering was a grave mistake; only the stupid; believed the lyrics of those lullabies.
‘No backbone Hammond’ always reminded me of the culprit in Scooby -Doo after they capture a bogeyman and unmask him.

Fred/Daphne/the Lesbo: “Let’s see who was pretending to be a financial expert and espousing all this Project Fear nonsense all along. (rips off mask) PHILLIP HAMMOND!

Hammond: And I would’ve got away with it too if it wasn’t for you pesky Brexiteers!

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Recruitment consultants are cunts.

All strut around in their suits, posing for photos with ‘their candidates,’ and generally spouting nonsense about the sector they claim to work in.
Now I’m not one to blow my own trumpet but I consider my profession to be a valuable one, I worked hard for my degree and job as do most others.
But what exactly do these cunts do that require years at university or life experience? Can you do a masters in cold calling now?
As far as I can tell, all these jumped up shits do is call people out of the blue, bullshit them into leaving their cosy job, pass on a CV or two, then collect a nice fat commission off the lazy, incompetent and clueless employer they are working for. I don’t have an issue with the nature of the job or the lack of skills require to perform it. If there’s a market for it, exploit it. But I do take umbrage at the tendency of these people to be self important, jumped up little fuckers who act way above their station pretending to be specialists, when they specialise in FUCK ALL.

You’re a glorified messenger boy pal….now get back in your box you cunt!

Nominated by The Ghost of Glauber Berti

Think Tanks.

Just what exactly do these fucking inept daydreamers do that is of any practical use?

Today (4th June ’19), I read that a ‘leading think tank has suggested that chocolate should be treated the same as cigarettes’, i.e. warnings and blank packaging. How about banning public consumption of chocolate too? Jesus H. Cunt.

Think of any Tory/Lib Dem politician who you despise. If they are 50 or under, then there is a solid chance that they spent some time in some think tank, suggesting anything and everything they can to fuck you over. Cameron was in one – enough said.

I am truly open to an education here – any specific reason why Think Tanks are anything other than a mass congregation of shitcunts?

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

A testosterone-fuelled cunting incoming for Caster Semenya.

Despite producing more natural male hormone than your average, er, male; despite having a voice deeper than Barry White hitting the low notes; despite being irrefutably tested as having the male XY chromosome (thereby fulfilling medical classification as a man); and despite looking like Didier Drogba in drag – scrub that, despite looking like Didier Drogba – Caster Semenya as the media would have you believe is 100% all woman.

This cunting admittedly would probably be better addressed at the bleeding heart liberal intelligentsia festooned shitrags like the Graun, as well as the indoctrinated pundits and ex-athletes at the BBC. But it takes a special type of cunt who knows deep down (or at least finds out) that they are a man, has the gall to still participate in races against real women, beats said women by ridiculous margins and does this in full view of the deeply sceptical public who remain untainted by the rightspeak of the left.

Gender-bending has become a real issue in sport and is repeatedly rearing its ugly head in American college sports. Often, it seems men too shit to cut it in legitimate competition suddenly declare themselves ‘transition’, and appear to get a free pass to whip the women who, like it or not, are as a rule physically less able than men. Taking advantage further of the now equal pay lunacy, these ‘men’ are ultimately aiming to win the same rewards but by taking on lesser opponents.

Part of me thinks this is just desserts for women; for so long now we have been lectured at that ‘men and women are equal’, deserving of equal rewards, and now these precious little flowers are all upset that individuals like Caster Semenya are demonstrably proving that gender equality in sport is largely a stupid philosophy.

Caster Semenya has just won a verdict awarded by a Swiss court, over-ruling the previously set IAAF rule that women must not exceed a certain level of natural testoserone to compete in light of her own manly excesses. So thanks to this cunt, you will now be seeing all kinds of freaks, deviants and bruisers call themselves women across sports, all because the left have cowed the Universe into being afraid to offend.

Semenya, you absolute, utter fucking abominable cunt.

The Empire Cunts Back