BT Sport

After a hard day’s grind I returned home to relax and watch my team, Arsenal, play some Portuguese cunts in the Europa League.

The presenter in the studio hands over to the commentator, Ian Darke, as the teams enter the tunnel. My piss then boils.

The commentator says “Welcome viewers to the Emirates Stadium and please also welcome my co-commentator, Karen Carney.”

Yes, some spilt arse shrieking windbag giving her ‘expert’ opinions on how she would ‘give the winger five yards’ or ‘whip quick crosses into the box’.

Like the women’s game is any comparison? The skill and speed levels are a million miles apart. It’s like me giving Duncan Goodhew swimming advice because I got my 25 metres freestyle certificate. Male players are cunts, sure, and modern football is a cunt too, but I’m sick of this pc shit of having to have split arses on the panel of experts. “Well at least they’re not commentating” was always my thoughts on this, (yes, I know they had one doing MOTD and for one game in the World Cup that nobody would’ve watched really). Now though, they’re shoe horning them in to the commentary box to ruin your enjoyment of the game itself. Instead of watching the game, I’m now reduced to ranting for 90 minutes.

Commentate on your own laughable version of the sport. If you’re gonna have split arses on the men’s football shows, only allow fit ones with their tits out.

Piss off.

Nominated by One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Cunt

Swiss driving knob and money lover, Lewis Hamilton. What a prime cunt. Makes an easy target of himself, wanking self-righteously on about veganism being the only way to save our dying on its arse anyway planet from self destruction; all from either the comfort of a big fluffy chair in a private jet where he’s getting his cock sucked for the duration of the flight while he sups champagne (if he hadn’t shaken it up and spurted his bubbles all over the tits of his podium pussies); or from the “cockpit” (cockpit, FFS… what a cunt. It’s a CAR not a fucking plane, you TWAT!) of his massively engined penis envy machine.

No need to cunt cunts like this cunt when they cunt themselves so effectively.
CUNT!

Nominated by Brian Stoat

Guess who chose Monday 21 October to release some more truly appalling news whilst the rest of the country was distracted by the latest Brexit hijack in Westminster? Kerrching…. our old friends at the ONS. What a coincidence!

With particular reference to UK Population Growth.

It seems we’re supposed to be placated that this isn’t now as high as forecast a while back as it will grow by a ‘mere’ 3 million from 66.4 million in mid-2018 to 69.4 million in 2028. The real killer stat is that “70% will be driven by international migration”. And that’s what they’re owning up to.

Given the useless ONS’s habit of continually having to revise its figures upwards and that they sure won’t be guesstimating the thousands arriving in containers or via Eire or deportation orders never enforced we can be 100% confident that the figure will be nearer 5 million. So 5m/10yrs x 70% = 350,000 EACH AND EVERY year for a decade from abroad.

Schools; NHS (correction : INHS); roads ; Social Services; Council Houses; Gawd knows what else.

But what boils my piss most is the complete indifference of the metropolitan cunts in ABBC ; The Guardian; Channel 4 News etc etc. But of course not – these fuckers in Notting Hill, Islington etc are completely untouched by it!!

Nominated by Isaac Hunt

Oxford university.

Now to save people (sorry total cunts) from being triggered the university has decided to ban audible applause.

https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/24/clapping-banned-oxford-university-stop-people-triggered-10975221/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

I fucking give up, This is meant to be one of the elite academic organisations in the world, yet they have somehow come to the conclusion that clapping may trigger people. Trigger them to do what, Cry and weep in their nannies arms. These are the sort of cunts who would be expecting those working class plebs who pulled the ER twats off the roof of the train to be jailed.

I can assure you oxford university students (they can’t all be cunts) that anyone who voted for this will one day find that you have pushed the working classes (black, brown and white) to far and you will also find that you will have to suffer your own version of being pulled off the roof of a tube train.

I hope I am alive to see you get a right proper kickIng.

Nominated by Cuntsince1066

Despite previously saying that they would not repatriate families who chose to fight for isis in Syria, they have now begun bringing ‘HOME’, ‘BRITISH’ school children who have been ‘CAUGHT UP’ in the fighting.
The first of thirty children are now on their way to Britain.
How the fuck did they get there? It must have been one hell of an ill thought out school trip. I’ve been on some shit school trips myself in the past, but I don’t recall them ever ending up with my parents fighting for a terrorist group.
Unless, no? really? You’re not suggesting that they went out there as a family to fight against the western infidel?
My mistake, but that’s not how it came across on the BBC. I was picturing the little Blonde haired cuties still clutching their packed lunches, crying into their teddy bears.
Oh well, at least they can come to Britain to have a normal life, say the British government. THEY ARE ALREADY LIVING THEIR NORMAL LIVES, THEY ARE FUCKING SYRIAN!
And they won’t grow up wanting to avenge the death of their parents at the hands of the British, will they? Because that never fucking happens.

I will leave you with a thought.
If a cat gives birth in an aviary, it’s offspring are not called birds, they are still called kittens, and they will still grow up wanting to kill the birds.

Nominated by The Cunt of Monte Cristo