Not so much James Bond himself or the old films, but the trailer for the new film is finally here and it’s as bad as expected, from what I can make out. Lots of little soundbites in it which are all different but one sticks out for all of us who happen to have the temerity to still be white and a man in 2019 :

“The world’s moved on 007.”

Cut straight to a tall black woman (probably a lesbian let’s face it) who it turns out is the new breed of spy, looks androgynous, short hair and threatening Bond if he has the audacity to get in her way.

Next scene cuts to the recently rebranded gay “Q” saying to Bond, “Oh, you aren’t dead.” I’m not sure if this Bond, or all old, white men that he is referring to, but I sooooo hope that in doing all of this that their key demographic votes with their feet and gives this a miss.

Even the cunt who plays Bond never misses an opportunity to virtue signal around wimminz issues, the utter cunt.

You play one of cinema’s greatest ever characters, so how about trying to retain some mystique? You wouldn’t catch Roger Moore, shit actor as he was, fannying around in the press about unsubstantiated rumours that some Z list actress once was told her dress was nice by a mean producer 25 years ago. No, instead he said that he wanted to step down as Bond because at his age at the time, it wasn’t appropriate to still be fucking around with young women, even when playing a part.

A true and dignified gentleman, without being a cunt about it.

And he invented the Magnum ice cream. Beat that, Millennial cunts.

Nominated by Cunt of the litter

I nominate Kay Burley.

I hate writing the cunts name. She’s paid millions for being a journalist, which she isn’t. She is an empty cunt, only repeating shit she hears in an earpiece. She will be remembered for one thing – what she said about Simon Weston:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoCopfQwXo4

I urge all of you to post it on her twitter feed to remind her of what she said. You will get blocked and a possible ban for telling the truth.

Nominated by Looby Loo

Shelby Judge….a student of the bullshit subject of “Feminist Issues”.

She and her husband (yep, she actually has one) took a tour of Stirling castle. Whilst in the gift shop, she found something that offended her immensely. A “Mr Man” book, in which Mr Clever committed the cardinal sin of ‘mansplaining’ the reason that the River Forth was so named to one of the “Little Misses”. Holy fucking shit on a burning stick. She was so outraged, she ran straight to The Sun newspaper to complain.

There was no mention in the article as to whether Stirling castle bent the knee to this whingeing cow, but I’m really hoping they told her to fuck off and grow up. How is it that a man can no longer innocently explain something to a woman? Even if we’re asked to explain something, we automatically become guilty of that heinous patriarchal crime of mansplaining. It’s about time we started standing up to these douchebags, because THEY are now the sexists. For decades, feminists were all out for equality. Well, now they have it. But that’s not enough for the twisted misandrists who call themselves feminists today. They want superiority. We cannot let them have it.

It must be so nice to live a life that your only real problem is the allegedly sexist content of a fucking children’s book.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Nice biscuits with hairline cracks in. And or the fucking retards whose only job is to get them from the factory to the customer in one piece, not two pieces barely held together with sugar until they are wet.

Nice biscuits are an absolute nightmare if they break mid-dunk. There is barely two or three seconds before all the structural integrity of the broken off bit is gone and the last inch of your brew is fully buggered.

I appreciate this is a bit of a first-world cunting, but a brews a brew and two failed dunks in a week suggest a careless cunt at some stage between manufacture and my careful lifting and placing in a shopping trolley.

Nominated by GGRF