What the fuck, how can one cunt a cricket club?. This most English of institutions, the sound of leather on willow at the Oval etc, etc. I couldn’t give a fuck about cricket, but it also appears that neither can the local black population in Lambeth, and they can’t be bothered with playing cricket (they must have other activities on their minds – insert your own ideas here).

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2020/jan/28/surrey-search-black-cricket-talent-numbers-emergency

So what’s the problem? Top level sport is about skill, ability and a determination to hone those skills over hours and hours of training, including keeping yourself fit. The problem of course is that it is the predominantly white people of Surrey County Cricket Club for not doing enough to help the local black kids. Now under the guidance of Ebony Rainford-Bren (don’t ask!!) a bunch of lads will be chosen for a scholarship, education and free kit and travel. Sounds good; the problem I have with it is that it is only available for black kids. No Asians (fuck me, those Indians love the cricket) and no white kids will be chosen.

Now cricket is a game that is mainly populated by rich wankers from private schools, so I feel that it is totally wrong to overlook state educated, poor white or Asian kids from Lambeth and I bet there are plenty. So let’s be clear, and I stand to be corrected Ebony, but to choose somebody for something advantageous based solely on the colour of their skin is to me racist.

Nominated by Cuntsince1066

Trespassing youths are cunts.

A rail freight company has been fined £1.2 million, because three teenage cock ends decided to trespass on a railway depot and two of them ended up electrocuting themselves on the overhead power supply.

One of the daft cunts climbed on top of a train and ended up being fried with 25000v. He was set on fire and ended up with burns over 40% of his body. His mate was also electrocuted trying to push his numpty pal off of the live wires, whilst his third pal is suffering from PTSD, having witnessed the whole thing.

An investigation by the prosecution told the court that the rail firm knew of the trespassing, as they were aware of graffiti, theft and vandalism and therefore were guilty of not doing enough to stop trespassers.

I’m sorry, but you go trespassing on the railway and end up cooking yourself, it’s your own fucking fault. No idea why the company should be paying out millions to these retards.

We really do pander towards the thick fuckers in this country. What ever happened to common sense? The whole world has gone mad.

Nominated by elcuntio

Stephen King…

Earlier this month, King, an Academy member, drew criticism for saying on Twitter that he “would never consider diversity”, when voting for the Oscars.

Now the cunt has backtracked on what was a perfectly reasonable mainstream statement. In essence, quality is blind. He is wriggling and squirming in the face of a woke twatter storm by cunts who matter not one jot.

Steven King, a disappointing mega cunt.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Stephen King has mislaid his balls. If anyone finds them, please return to the owner at the following address: Some big fuck-off house in Bangor, Maine, USA.

I was mightily surprised that after being chastised by snowflake, woke fuckheads on Twatter about his very rational and level-headed comments regarding Oscar voting, that he saw fit to placate the cunts by backtracking and trying to excuse something that really did not need to be excused, as he did absolutely nothing wrong except speak honestly and with a lot of common sense.

King basically said that Oscar nominations should be based on nothing more than quality and that diversity, or intentional diversity, should not even be contemplated. If something is Oscar worthy, it is Oscar worthy, be it black, white or otherwise, or be made by or starring black, white or otherwise individuals. It’s selection should be based on nothing more than how good it is, it’s artistry, etc. I for one see nothing wrong with what he said, yet the woke cunts of this world have of course immediately taken offence, twisted his words into being something unacceptable and cajoled him into explaining and apologising. They fail to understand that he was not saying the subject of diversity was not an issue, but that it should not be a basis on which a nomination is made or an Oscar given.

For fuck’s sake Stephen, get a grip. Why do you care what these fuckheads think? You should have stood by your statement as it was very correct and the vast majority of people would agree with you.

Take a leaf out of your own books, do a ‘Carrie’ or a ‘Pennywise’ on them and fuck shit up without ANY apologies. If the ludicrous woke of this world don’t like that, fuck ’em.

Nominated by Nurse Cunty

As the whole world knows, the UK finally left the bloated, undemocratic European Union on 31st January. That evening, the EU appeared to deliver a final poke in the eye for Brexiteers by displaying a ‘Scotland Loves Europe’ light show on the side of the EU Commission building in Brussels. “Thanks for nothing”, we thought.

“Oh look”, gushed SNP Fuhrer, Nicola ‘Wee Jimmy Krankie’ Sturgeon as she tweeted an image of the building. “The EU Commission tonight (and if you look carefully, you’ll see that they do appear to have left a light on for us!”.

Er, really, Wee Jimmy? It’s a bit strange then that spokespersons for the EU are now claiming “nous n’en savons rien, chef” (‘don’t know nuffink abaht it, chief’). I’m afraid that your weasel wording “it does appear…” has let the cat scramble out of the bag. It’s being stated in the meeja that in fact, the SNP itself commissioned an Edinburgh company to set up the display. If this is indeed the case, it’s extremely concerning to see the ScotNazis trying to imply that the EU connived in this tacky stunt, particularly if it turns out that it was paid for with tax-payers’ money. The EU has confirmed that the SNP did not seek authorisation for the display. Almost certainly, agreement would have been denied, as to agree would have seemed to be an active, public encouragement of secession on the EU’s part.

This looks like a shabby deceit played upon the people of Scotland; part of the SNP’s game to deflect attention away from its dismal performance in government north of the border. Oh dear, Wee Jimmy; seems as though you’ve been caught with your tartan drawers around your ankles, and it most definitely is not a pretty sight. You should be embarrassed, but I don’t think that’s in your make-up. Just do us all a favour. Shut your gurning and yapping and stick to the day job for fuck’s sake, you malicious little shit.

Nominated by Ron Knee

A nom please for “Home”, a new comedy show coming to channel 4, these days home of the woke.

Now my ears instantly prick up when any ad for a show opens with a quote from the Grauniad, extolling how wonderful it is; lo and behold, such is the case for this sack of spunk. The show is about – get this – the wacky adventures of a Syrian migrant new to the shores of the paradise where all is free, the UK.

Of course in current fashion, the immigrant in question is less your knife rampage, suicide vest, death-to-the-infidels type and more akin to a cuddly brown version of Andy Kaufman’s Latka Gravas from Taxi; a laugh a minute, jolly ball of fun that doesn’t want to fuck your 12-year-old daughter, honest.

Reality – overrated according to C4 and the Grauniad. Mind you, don’t mention C4. Our gimmegrant pal has never heard of it.

Nominated by Cuntan the Cuntarian