China

Not content with destroying the global economy and murdering hundreds of thousands with their virus (while accepting no blame whatsoever), the cunts are now (yes, now!) doing all they can to improve their image…by repressing the folks in Hong Kong.

In essence, the Chinese are looking to renege on their 1984 deal to allow HK to remain independent from China. The cunts are simply going to make it part of China in terms of laws, currency and customs.

Great timing. At least they’re not hiding the fact of how cuntish they really are.

Nominated by Cuntybollocks

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2020/05/25/16/28802286-8355021-image-m-68_1590420141388.jpg

Algorithms Up Me Arse

Yours Truly has been in the habit for many a long year of contributing helpful comments and supportive remarks aroinde the internet – all in the sake orf free speech ect ect. Now in recent times they are taken doine faster than a pooftah’s pants. Outrage.

Latest example see dubious photo above (if not pre-removed by Thought Police) to which I appended to the right hand photo the comment “Who is that bending over?”. That drew a few Likes and a Smiley Face and you know how much I like those, to which I replied ” Nice to see the Taoiseach in a scene with his partner”. Innocuous enough you will agree and the Likes and Laughing Faces started pinging in. Then me screen froze, did a refresh and the whole thread “poof” vanished.

Come to the conclusion that cunting FaceBook or some other cunt as inserted an algorithm or tracking cookie up me arse. Yours Truly has been posted as an oitlaw orf the digital world. Here we go a’hacking again. All very doable but such a bore.

In case the photo is banned here follows a verbal description:

“Three flabby shirtless aging pooftahs in cropped jeans me dears and aviator shades disport in the sun while a young punk offers his arse on the grass”

Imagine Elton John and com-padres sunning themselves on Elt’s yacht.

You  get the picture

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

Current day comedians are cunts. Almost without exception.

PC, woke, lefty and above all unfunny. Watch (if you don’t want to laugh) Live at the Apollo. Dykes, Brexit-baiters, Effniks, Woke Wimmin, Pansies. Laugh? I thought I’d never start. And I didn’t. Yet the audience (snowflake/millennials) go wild, after a short pause to stare at each other to check “hey hope it’s ok to giggle at this joke”. In Norfolk we have a saying “they’d laugh to see a pudding crawl”. Sums the fuckwits up nicely.

Back in the day I was a bit contemptuous of the likes of Cannon and Ball and Little and Large (RIP) but they seem like comedy giants compared to this lot. They didn’t try to make political points, just to make people laugh. And how we could do with that now. Humour got us through the war but I don’t think many of this lot are even on our side. They are vapid piss-takers.

Nish Kumar, Russell “bossed eyed” Howard, Dara O’nobrain, Sarah “foul-mouth” Millican, The Effnik bloke who does ranganation and the frog-eyed gimp who is hanging about with him now. Can’t be bothered to look up their names. Need I go on?

I do have some regard for Lee Mack. I enjoy his sitcom and Hugh Dennis when he’s on it but not when he does Fuck the Week. The improvisations are embarrassing.

Comedy is in a state of terminal decline killed by utter cunts.

I thank you.

Nominated by Lord Helpuss

Attention cunters. 

As many of you may have noticed, the site has grown quite a lot over the last year or so with several new faces joining. Whilst this is, of course, brilliant, it does mean that there are now not enough admins to cover the sheer volume of nominations coming in on a weekly basis. As such, we are looking for more cunters to put their names forward to volunteer and help share the workload. If you have the time to spare and are interested simply send an email to the head admin on the contact form. Thank you and carry on cunting. 

Overly Prescriptive Cunts

One side effect of these challenging times(TM) is that silly bastards are posting even more rubbish on social media along the lines of “THIS is how you make a cup of tea”.

No, it’s how you like it. If I like mine differently it doesn’t make me inferior. It means we don’t like the same tea.

Bacon sandwiches seem to attract extreme levels of this nonsense, be it the “correct” nomenclature – butty, sarnie etc -, or the “right” sauce, which always seems to be brown, not “red”. Because “tomato” is such an absurdly long word. Do they call mayonnaise “white sauce”?

There will normally be some parochial North / South, Yorkshire / Lancashire, village A / village B bollocks as well.

Just grow up you stupid cunts.

Nominated by Guardian Hater