FAT SLAGS:

Apparently the tax payer is now having to pay for a new luxury in wimminz prisons – new lavatory seats:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10431167/Female-inmates-South-London-prison-piling-weight-breaking-toilet-seats.html

The old bags are getting so chubby bottomed that they keep breaking them. I can’t see ehy they can’t just park their flabby folds of flesh on the porcelain – either that or get an Army PTI , a real hell on duty man to sort them out.

This led me to a new idea for the Labour party – instead of Dame Keir and his nancy boys to keep telling us on a daily, almost hourly basis, how pure and innocent they are, why not have a daily contest with two lavatories and their resident fatties Emily Thornberry (Lady Nugee) and Diane Abbott, battling out to see how many bog seats they break in a week. The winner to receive a kiss on the arse from Starmer himself. I am sure the Guardian will be pleased to supply copies as wide screen lavatory paper.

Nominated by WC Boggs

”Nusrat Ghani: Muslimness a reason for my sacking, says ex-minister”

Yes, we have it in for these people of impeccable peacefulness yet again.

Our government might be a bunch of cunts but it is the most ethnically diverse group ever to have been in office. But like with cricket, it seems that the Slumos are victims. Yet again. (Slumo is Seffrican Indian slang. Nor regarded as offensive when I was there. Neither was P*ki by the way.)

Now we arent sure how this nonenty’s ‘muslimness’ manifested itself. Perhaps she had to have a male relative chaperone? Kissed the carpet at innopportune times? Wasnt served exclusively Halal food in the parliament restaurants? Wore a suicide vest to No 10 parties? Groomed young girls for taxi drivers? Whatever. But discrimination against her ‘muslimness’ was the reason for her sacking. According to her.

We wait for the Hindus, Sikhs, Tamils, Buddhists, Wiccans and Scientologists to rush out to identify with her sorry plight. Just like they didnt at Yorkshire cricket. Or anyfuckingwhere else.

BBC News Link

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

And here’s another, this time from Freddie the Frog

Nusrat Ghani

Another victim of Islamophobia. So she gets the sack, not because she’s fucking useless, but because she’s a fucking Joe Daki and she was told this by a senior politician. In the 21st century!!! In wokie Britain!!!

Yeah……and then she waits 2 fucking years before she starts crying about it!
Sorry, is any cunt buying this shit?

Bottled Water
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bottled_water

Whilst shopping in Asda today (unfortunately we don’t have a Fortnums round here) I accidentally took a wrong turn up the soft drinks aisle. Obviously I normally avoid consuming anything liquid that’s devoid of alcohol. Anyway, my attention was piqued by shelves groaning under the weight of hundreds of multipacks of haitch two fucking oh. I could not believe the prices being charged for something that falls out of the sky. So, for example, 4 x 330ml Evian at £3, for fucks sake!
Who in their right mind spends 75p on a third of a litre of water when you can get the same amount out of the tap for a fraction of a penny? And tap water won’t be contaminated with benzene like Perrier was in 1990.
The bottlers and retailers are literally taking the piss water. And every knobhead who buys it has the intellectual complexity of a maggot.

Nominated by Geordie Twatt

A cunting for women who want equality, but don’t want equality

Well, I guess it was only a matter of time. Yes, women want to be equal, but they want to be more equal and actually DO want to be known as the weaker sex, but maybe they don’t. Who fucking knows.

Apparently, there is “fury” (yes, it’s the Daily Fail) that lone women aren’t being prioritised when they breakdown.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10421995/Fury-AA-says-NOT-help-lone-woman-man-roadside.html

Yes, funny that you wimminz, you have been asking for equality and now you know what that means. It means waiting at the roadside like the blokes, until, invariably, a bloke will rock up in his van and do some bloke things to get your car fixed and going again – it could be something really difficult like changing a fucking wheel, but you wouldn’t know about that as you can’t be arsed to learn as it is easier to get a man to do it.

This is just like my lefty neighbour who is always banging on about wimmin and most men being rapists, yet is on the phone to me as soon as the car battery is flat or she can’t do something on her phone (she is 84, so I do cut her some slack). It’s also like those stupid bints who were moaning about their pensions being the same as blokes – FFS, you couldn’t make it up.

So, there you go, equality is bullshit. Blokes can do many things better than birds, but birds are better at other things. The whole thing of women “firefighters” is stupid – most men could out-strength most women, and that’s a fact. If a women firefighter can’t lift something, who do you think will step in and do it? Another women.

Anyway, so there you go women – you now know what equality means and you’ve got it!!! Daft cows.

Nominated by Lord Cuntingford

A woman was stabbed to death by a bloke in Maida Vale, London, last night. Witnesses tried to intervene but then the bloke tried to stab them too.

It would appear one of the witnesses then got into his car and intentionally (allegedly), ran the attacker down and subsequently killed him.

Regrettably, the woman died of multiple stab wounds.

The police have arrested the driver on suspicion of murder!

If this stands in the courts, then clearly it sends out a message to anyone witnessing any kind of serious crime – Don’t Get Involved!

In future if you see someone being stabbed to death, raped, mugged, set on fire etc, just stand well back, get your phone out, record it (do a selfie if needed) and upload to YouTube for the likes and attention!

Seems that Plod always ask for people to come forward when helping them solve crimes, but if this particular case is upheld and the driver/hero is sent to jail, then plod can go fuck themselves!

BBC News Link

Nominated by Technocunt