I know it’s called the silly season. But why the hell do people buy those extortionately priced calendars at this time of year?

Whole stalls and shops appear with these damn things full of them. Long gone bands (Beatles, Queen, Wham!), current shite (K-Pop, Chappel fucking Roan, Sabrina Carpenter), sci-fi (Star Trek, Star Wars, Doctor Who), every animal under the sun (dogs, cats, horses, pigs), and every superficial celebrity twat and Hollywood cunt known to man. Plus loads of other shite like Harry Potter and gay rainbow bollocks.

And, these cunts cost 10 quid or over. What sort of knob pays that for 12 small posters that will last a year? Calendars are pointless anyway. The date can be found on the phone or computer. Calendars are obsolete, it’s a great big racket.

And, they never have what you want anyway. As I was in Bury,’s Millgate Centre last week, one stall seller asked if I’d be interested in the 2026 Taylor Swift Calendar. I replied ‘Have you got one where ‘Tay Tay’ is full monty billy bollocks in several lewd and lascivious poses?’ You should have seen their face and their ‘Errrrr…. No’.

Bah, bloody Humbug…

Calendar Club.

Nominated by : Norman

I am a huge fan of the humble Brussels sprout. It is fitting that the most well known Belgian is a vegetable.

Mrs Twenty knows how to prepare the perfect sprout to accompany Christmas dinner, still firm and very slightly crisp. Nothing finer, the absolute king of greens. However, I have been to more than a few festive repasts where the hostesses have seen fit to embellish the noble sprout with a honey glaze, mix them with chestnuts, or even individually wrap them in bacon. Who fucking does that?

I can sort of understand Americans messing up their veg, we expect nothing else. Martha Stewart probably started this shit when she had nothing better to do in clink. But now everyone is at it, even the cunt with the huge tongue.

Please, please, can we have a return to sanity and restore the simple sprout its dignity?

The Recipe Critic.com

Seasons Greetings.

Nominated by : Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea

As a special bonus Christmas gift, heeeeeeere’s Greta!

UK police arrest Greta the mood hoover! (our favourite little girl)

DW.com

“British police have arrested climate activist Greta Thunberg during a pro-Palestinian protest in central London. The detention, under terrorism legislation, was linked to a placard referencing a banned group”

Darling Greta has been working with “Defend Our Juries” a group of foreign funded cunts who hope to undermine western democracy (although they don’t realise it)

https://defendourjuries.net/

So hopefully Young Greta gets to spend Christmas being raped with a shampoo bottle in Holloway by a big dyke!

Christmas has come early 😉

Nominated by : Lord benny

In times past, the festive chart topper was a part of the tapestry that was the Great British Christmas. The Beatles had at least four Christmas No.1s. Then there was, of course, Slade. With a real record that people actually bought in their millions.

Some of them were good. But some have been awful (Long Haired Lover From Liverpool, Save Your Love, There’s No One Quite Like Grandma, Sir Clfford of Richard). While some were totally unexpected and bizarre (Bohemian Rhapsody, Another Brick In The Wall Part II).But, it was always part of the fun and all that.

But now? The bad has taken over permanently. That weirdo cunt Cowell started it with his X-Factor shite. Cynically and ruthlessly pursuing the festive top spot every bloody year. And, naturally, the stupid and tone deaf chav hordes lapped it up.

Not to mention crap like Ladbaby (for the name alone, they deserve to roast in Hell), the unfortunately ubiquitous Ed Sheercunt, and even a poofy old Wham! single can get to the top of the Xmas summit without a single record or CD being sold. The singles chart is now worthless, and as crass and as vulgar as everything else these days.

However, things could reach a new low this year. Worse than Sheercunt, and even worse than Cowell’s freaks and bastard Ladbaby. But… But what could be worse than those cunts?

I shall tell you…. Denise Welch.

The infamous (very) Loose Women ‘star’ and well known super bike is aiming for the Christmas No.1 this year. No, I am not joking.

Ye Auld Slappeur has done an ear splitting ditty called ‘Slayyy Bells’. OK, that Carey woman is annoying at this time of year, but at least she was (notice I said was) nice to look at. But this old trollop? Is Denise Welch in red rubber supposed to be sexy? She’s about as sexy as Angela Rayner on a bad night.

As I mentioned, it was always a mix of the good, the bad and the ugly. But, this is what it has come to. This is the modern British Christmas in all its crass, tasteless and vomit inducing glory.

Official Charts.

Nominated by : Norman

Wishing all our Cunters a safe, peaceful, fun and enjoyable Christmas.

From all of us at Admin Mansions