Now that I’ve turned 60 I have already noticed a few tram lines on my face, along with the the ubiquitous grey hair on my head (although fortunately I still have a full head of hair and far from becoming a total slap-head!).

But I have also noticed hairs up my nostrils, eye brows and inner ears. Now I always thought hairs on one’s body came during the puberty years of teenage angst. Hairs and zits were the order of the day, along with wet dreams thinking of Sally James going down on Felicity Kendall.

But it would seem nasal hair has been biding its time for an additional 40 odd years and only now has decided to sprout, along with its friends the ears!

Nasal hairs are a cunt because for me at least they tickle, as well as become quite visible to others. I usually just pluck the fuckers out, which is a bit painful,. But then after a few weeks the fuckers grow back again!

Getting old is a real cunt when things start to fail on you, but sure enough nasal hairs will just add to your angst as you poke a finger up there trying to placate your irritation while others think you’re picking your nose!

Nominated by Technocunt.

Mental health is a cunt.

A few years ago now someone, somewhere in the establishment decided to start peddling “mental health” as a good wheeze to excuse criminal, perverse, just plain stupid behaviour or any form of failure in life.

I’m not clear why this is but I suspect like most things it comes down to money, either folks building a career on this bollocks or the government saving the cost of keeping these bastards in the slammer to prevent them being a nuisance to the rest of us.

Just been a programme on the telly featuring people complaining they have low mood, depression, anxiety, panic attacks etc. One hearing voices and diagnosed as schizo but as he is a young black man then it’s in his DNA so no useful treatment available anyway.

Reminds me of my late mother’s opinion on first hearing the term post-natal depression; “We didn’t have this in my day. It hadn’t been invented.”

The Guardian

Link is to the Grauniad but remarkably appropriate I think. Worth reading.

(Umm. Due to ment’l elf we forgot to add the author to this nom! – Day Admin)

I used to half-enjoy Channel 4’s “Big Fat Quiz of the Year”, mostly because of Jimmy Carr.

But this year’s quiz was ruined by having this drooling spac appear on it. You might think that having a genuine pudding-brain on telly might afford a bit of light amusement, but no – she even fucks that up by being impossible to understand and utterly unfunny.

It’s not entirely her fault, one supposes; it’s genuinely cruel of C4 and her handlers to push her in front of an embarrassed audience. They know full-well that she’s as funny as a brain haemorrhage.

But then she’ll undo any initial sympathy by “hitting out at ableist trolls”. By which she means anyone who finds her unfunny and awkward.

Fuck off Mong the Merciless, you ruin any programme you’re shoehorned into

Daily Fail

Nominated by Thomas the Cunt Engine.

(You can’t fool us, mate! You fancy the arse off her/him/it/whatever! – Day Admin)

Last night I was at my friend Big Al’s house when his daughter turned up.

She brought with her a plastic carton bearing the legend ‘Pot Noodle’, containing an assortment of dried items including noodles (obviously) and vegetables, which are re-constituted by the simple expedient of adding boiling water and stirring.

I must admit that my stomach turned when I viewed the contents of the pot, which to my mind had the appearance, not to mention the smell, of pigswill. In spite of Big Al’s remonstrations to the effect that said product, while seemingly innocuous, contained a large amount of unhealthy fat, salt and ‘flavour enhancing’ E-numbers, his protest fell on deaf ears, and was consumed with relish.

Apparently 240 pots of this slop are consumed in Britain EVERY MINUTE. Add to that all the ‘convenience’ junk food churned out by the likes of McDonalds and KFC and necked by the ton every year.

Then have a look at all the grossly obese lardbuckets waddling around, that’s when they’re not crushing the life out a mobility scooter because they can barely walk at all.

They say that you are what you eat. That, my friends, is very, painfully apparent.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

 
are cunts.

Hi all, I would love to cunt foreigners who go to other foreigners countries and moan about the country that they are visiting, I have travelled to Italy on numerous occasions, i love Italy for it’s food , history and culture, however, I have spent the last week in Rome and all other nationalities are content with visiting Rome, apart from guess who?

The fucking Americans, they have moaned about the food, the weather, the transport, the fact it’s not hot, bearing in mind it’s late December, and shops not taking dollars, ffs Rome is over 3000 years old, and I have been to Sicily in august and have the same situation, when tourists come to London they put up and shut up, Americans should never leave their own country.

Nominated by Sidthesexistsforeskin.