Tom Jones

tom jones lookalikesOwain Glydwr was a beardy cunt. Miserable looking fucker to boot.
Schooled in England, Employed in the British Army (fought against the Scots). Then fucks of back to Welsh Wales to indulge his penchent for setting fire to cottages. Cunt!

That Tom Jones is due for a darned good cunting too ‘cos he’s got a face that looks like it’s been painted on an overinflated balloon. Did you know he can’t blink when he’s got a hard-on?

Nominated by: Fleaboy

Has anyone noticed the remarkable resemblance between the last native Welshman to hold the title ‘Prince of Wales’ Owain Glydwr and the Welsh Prince of Pop, Tom Jones.

Neither of the cunts could sing. ‘The Voice’ my arse!

Perhaps they are related, I think we should be told…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Ed Sheeran

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Ed Queeran.
Ginger.
Shit music.
Ginger
Ugly fucking spazzock.
Ginger.
Mates with some daft niggers like Dizzy Cuntstal.
Ginger
Could have shagged Smelly Goulding, didn’t.
Ginger.

Nominated by: Hurling Dervish

Robin William’s death

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Awoke to an outpouring of simpering eulogies; greatest man that ever lived; a light has gone out in the world ect etc. Fuck me, Mother Teresa must have been born again, had the change and died again. But not so, turns out the airwaves have turned the colour of liquid shite on account orf that hairy little cunt Robin Williams. The alleged actor/comedian jasper has topped himself and not had the grace to post the video on YouTube therebye depriving the world of seeing the cunt actually do something funny for the first time in his life.

Bugger me it goes on and on. Obama is at it now showering brain dead drool and cuddly toys all over Robin Williams:
“Robin Williams was an airman, a doctor, a genie, a nanny, a president, a professor, a bangarang Peter Pan, a hairy paedo, a cunt and everything in between. But he was one of a kind. He arrived in our lives as an alien – but he ended up touching every element of the human spirit,”

Obama should be cunted for that PR release puke speak alone. Reaching out to touch the sicko soul of the American people with fake empathy. He does have form but it takes a strong stomach to retain one’s whiskey and devilled kidneys in the reading of the cunts numerous other examples – Michael Jackson, Shirley Temple, Lena Horne, Pete Seeger and so on.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

All Americans should be cunted again for the tsunami of sentimental bullshit in response to RW’s suicide. It’s like they only get emotional about Hollywood fictions – no mention of the man, just endless fucking banalities about the characters he played and what they meant to the American people. Surely I can’t be the only person who thought Robin Williams was one of the unfunniest men on the planet, along with Steve Martin and Billy Connolly?

Nominated by: Fred West

I quite liked Robin Williams’ films, but for fuck’s sake let’s get it in perspective. The man could not walk on water, could not call lightning down from the sky, could not part the ocean, and could not bring peace to the middle east. Obama thinks he can do all these things, but Williams couldn’t.

I think he was highly entertaining but the sun definitely did not shine out of his arsehole even if Stephen Fry would have liked it to.

And no cunt had him in the dead pool either…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Pavement parking

"Look! There's a cunt parked on the pavement!.."

“Look! There’s a cunt parked on the pavement!..”

Cunts who park (almost or all) their cars on the pavement are cunts…

These lazy, arrogant bastards block the entire footpath, and others have to walk on the road to get to their homes… Also when kids play on the pavement (like they’re supposed to!), some cunt will come out and tell them to “Get away from my car!” The kids then shift and play on the road where they can get hurt (my brother was killed when he was knocked down).

Any car that is on a footpath in any way should be fucking keyed… And that’s just for starters…

Nominated by: Norman

Gut fat cunts

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That’s right, FAT, not “obese” or “upsized” or whatever other don’t stress and stigmatise the damn greedy pig cunts euphimism is used. Last straw is the news that more millions of NHS money is to be wasted on gastric bands (aren’t Chas an’ Dave a gastric band?) in a futile attempt to stem the tide of bloated arses and diabetes flooding this once great nation. Will the cunts scoff less MacDonalds and slurp fewer Red Bulls and vodka? This is on top orf the reinforced ambulances and wider kazhi seats and wider doors ect ect that pcdom is rolling out at vast expense across the NHS and council housing.

Recall the days orf the Depression and the General Strike. Plenty of slim fillies around then. Fat is not beautiful. Eat less you pud’n shagging cunts.

Each new version of a motor is bigger than the last to squeeze in more gut and standard clothing sizes have all been ‘upscaled’ so that modom no longer has to wrap her cunt in clingfilm and suck in her blubber to squeeze her arse into that size fourteen. Bollocks on the table, as a time served old aristo one admits to the possession of an arse right regal generally encased in a pair of ever expanding plus fours but a way to go before I can’t lever it into me old Bentley. Enjoy me vitals and fuck orf the lot of you but I do not object to being called a fat old cunt. Par for the course donchaknow. Yet if one dare’s to return the favour to some gross slapper with her benefits goldmine fat brats taking up ten seats on the bus one is booted orf for “inappropriate behaviour”. One has one’s seniors bus pass so fuck orf. Fucking fat fascist cunts.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke