SKY needs urgently cunting.

Just heard that they are about to launch a mobile phone network – this from the Murdoch corporation who brought you industrial-scale phone-hacking at The Sun and News of the World! I wonder how secure their subscribers will feel…? You just couldn’t make it up, could you?

What total fucking cunts.

Nominated by: Fred West

41 thoughts on “Sky

  1. Cunts indeed……as are Virgin Media. Price keeps going up and still shite on there most of the time.

    Lucky for all of us we can watch sport on the internet thanks to our cunty friends in Asia and as my home internet runs at rocket speed I can download anything and everything in less time than a standard set of TV adverts!!!

    Fuck them all…….more beer money for this cunt!!

      • I’ve just been informed by my bank, RBS, that my account will shortly be transferring to Williams and Glyn. I’ve decided I don’t want that, so I’m transferring to another bank instead. I know RBS have been in the shite recently, but I’ve been with them for 15 years and to be told my custom is no longer required is somewhat insulting.

      • I have the same problem with Intelligent Finance, as does my daughter who also banks with them. Apparently it’s all down the EU competition rules…

        And you’re right. It’s insulting. I’ve been with them over 20 years.

  2. I know FIFA are as bent as fuck, but I hope the Qatar World Cup in 2022 is held around Xmas… The reason? It will annoy the shit out of those Premier League cunts and those bastards at Sky… I hope it fucks their ‘system’ up and that they lose millions… See how they like being pissed about.. Like they have done to loyal supporters for years now? Don’t like the World Cup being in Winter? We don’t like travelling from Manchester to Southampton for a monday night game, you cunts!

    The only good thing on Sky? This lovely bit of fluff here:

      • To Quote the “Mac lads” (remember them Norman?). I bet she “bangs like a shithouse door when the plagues in town”

        As for Murdoch, would not surprise me in the slightest if he’s brokered a deal with the intelligence services for a bit of clandestine snooping on personal emails and calls. Anyone who signs up for his network might be a little cautious in what they text or say.

      • I do remember the Macc Lads, Lez… Sweaty Betty and all that…

        The lady on Sky is Natalie Sawyer… When Natalie and Hayley McQueen (daughter of 70s/80s Man United defender, Gordon) did the ice bucket challenge, it was the best thing Sky had show in years… Just a shame the the girls didn’t wear less…

      • There’s bound to be something buried in the small print whereby subscribers agree to allow any Murdoch company access to their data, thereby effectively decriminalising hacking/snooping.

      • I was married to Nat, You would not believe the kind of kinky stuff she was in to. Whenever she had a bottle of wine she would demand I stick it up her ass.
        She also enjoyed a golden shower and having her asshole licked, but the reason we got divorced is she slipped a finger up my ass when we were having sex one night, I actually puked on her when she did this and alas that was the beginning of the end for us.

  3. It has now been admitted that the fucking Daily Mirror also engaged in industrial-scale phone hacking but do you hear the outcry from the lefties ? No, do you fuck, hypocritical cunts. Which brings me to my point I wish to nominate the sanctimonious hypocricy of the left for a proper cunting.

    • I’ll back you on that. So long as you put Emma Thomson, and her fuckwit husband, Greg ‘Un’ Wise at the top of the list. They are so far to the left, even Morrissey and Annie Lennox consider them extreme.

      Their latest stunt, is to threaten to stop paying tax until the “evil bastards” at HSBC who helped their fellow mega rich cunts to minimise their tax in various dodgy ways. Personally, I think the other mega rich cunts deliberately left them out, and now they’re jealous.

    • You do actually – Mirror hacking has been all over The Guardian and the Hacked Off website.

      I think hacking at the Mirror transcends the issue of party politics – everyone of every political persuasion is keen to see Piers Morgan (editor during the hacking) get the same fate as Andy Coulson.

  4. Hall and Oates are proper cunts…
    I forgot these two muzak making clowns existed… Then today I heard they are suing a breakfast cereal company for using the name ‘Haulin’ Oats’… The mind boggles… What a pair of cunts.. Stick to piss poor Temptations impersonations, you knobheads…

    • Agreed, their music is so bland that if some alien civilisation with a similar SETI set up to ourselves picked up their music as it reached them far out into space, they would conclude that there was no signs of life on our planet.

  5. Today, I’d thought I’d try a multiple cunting. To start with, the staff at Selwood Academy in Frome, and the local police. Jayden Taljaard, a nine year old pupil at the school has recently been excluded. Apparently, every Friday the school has what they call the “Golden Hour”. This is where the children are encouraged to bring in a toy for the last hour of the school day.

    Jayden, who apparently has ADHD and other learning difficulties, chose to take a BRIGHT ORANGE toy pistol. Being 9 years old, and suffering learning difficulties, Jayden was completely unaware of the shit storm he was about to provoke. THREE teachers ( who I can only assume had the collective IQ of a sponge) complained that felt threatened by the BRIGHT ORANGE AND OBVIOUSLY TOY PISTOL. The Head Teacher, who also has the IQ of a sponge, called the police.

    As I’ve said on more than once, I spent 18 years in the army, defending this country from possible foreign enemies. It seems I wasted my time, because the true enemies to this once great nation, are the fucking left wing nonces, who infest every level of our public services. They’re soft bastards, who are intent on making the rest of us soft bastards.

    Now, in a sane world, the police would have told the head teacher to get a fucking sense of perspective, grow the fuck up, and stop wasting their time. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a sane world. The police rocked up at Jayden’s home to explain the dangers of firearms. On top of that, Jayden’s mum and stepdad received a letter telling them that, as Jayden was currently excluded, he was not allowed to leave his house, because he wasn’t in school. So effectively, a nine year old boy is under house arrest, for the crime of mistakenly taking a BRIGHT ORANGE, OBVIOUSLY TOY GUN to school.

    • I’m surprised at you. What with your military experience you should know how effective bright orange guns can be. Having said that if I had a child at that school I would be demanding the resignation of those fanatical witches who made this complaint. Were they all on their periods at the same time ? That would explain it.

  6. Ok, moving on to the second nomination. Russell Brand.

    Yep, the scrawny, lank haired, ex-junkie gobshite, who thinks the entire planet should listen to his ridiculous rants, because he’s, like, so fucking profound. His outburst is an attack on Britain and her people. The indigenous people that is, not the foreign fuckers who happen to have a British passport. Apparently, we’re all evil because we keep portraying those nice, peaceful, uninvited muslims in our country, as violent, racist, homophobic, sexist, intolerant, head severing, homicide bombing terrorists.

    He reckons it’s OUR fault that “British” Muslims, like the Kuwaiti Mohammed “Jihadi John” Emwazi become terrorists. No Russell, they become terrorists because they are members of a schizophrenic cult, that encourages extreme violence against everyone who does not adhere to their particular branch of said schizophrenic cult. But hey, don’t the fucking truth get in the way of your swivel eyed rants Russ, you self important prick.

    You may get the impression that I don’t like Russell Brand. You’d be wrong. I fucking despise the bearded twat. Like all lefty’s Brand is all for freedom of speech, as long as what you say agrees completely with what he says. If you disagree with so much as one word, he starts shouting and screaming at you, in the hope that you will shut up an go away. You are a fascist. A Nazi. Although, like all lefty’s he completely ignores the fact the Nazis were a left wing party. Socialists as it happens. Point that fact out to a lefty. It’s like lighting the blue touch paper.

    The fact of the matter is, it’s the likes of Brand who are to blame for the state this country is in. He and his ilk are to blame for the hate preachers, who stand in our roads, encouraging their fuckwit followers to murder us in our own country. He and his ilk are the reason we have so many foreigners in our country, a large number of whom are criminals. Often very violent criminal. Brand and his fellow lefties are the reason that thousands of young white girls were not only subjected to sustained multiple gang rapes over a number of years, but were actually accused of being responsible for it.

    And why are Brand and his butt buddies responsible for the state our country is in? Because they’re soft cunts. For over thirty years, they have insisted that we tread on egg shells around criminals, foreigners, etcetera. They have insisted that WE adapt to suit the needs of certain immigrant groups, rather than vice versa. They have destroyed traditional British values such as respect, decency, manners, selflessness, honour, and honesty, and turned our country into a shit hole.

    • Two superb cuntings QDM.
      the whole politically correct attitude of the system has now gone to a level of stupidity that beggars belief. A whole raft of useless overpaid and underworked tossers generating and publishing dictums that forbid anything that does not conform to their left wing, pansy ideals.
      One wonders if the school will ban the kids from playing cricket or rounders in case they encourage violent behaviour in our young and impressionable minds ( said young and impressionable minds who probably play Grand theft auto on their x-boxes)..

      As to Russell Brand, his arrogant cuntitude is matched only by his castrato voice and complete lack of talent. It is however his latest self reinvention as a moral crusader and eco-warrior that I find the most repugnant.

    • You can never point out that the Nasis were extreme lefties often enough. It fucking needs saying and needs saying often.

  7. Russell Brand, the man who made a career out of using a Thesaurus, I love it when people claim he is intelligent, just because someone knows 400 synonyms for an adjective does not make them intelligent, just an annoying cunt.
    And as for his revolution bullshit, the only revolution I want to see from Russell is his body revolving off a fucking cliff, the cunt

    • The other pseudo intellectual is of course Stephen fucking Fry. How’s his ‘marriage ‘ going anyway ?

      • I fucking loathe that posh arse bandit, I cannot wait till his ‘twink of a husband’ meets someone closer to his own age (18) and leaves that old cunt, hopefully the dirty ass bandit will commit suicide then, he is a well documented manic depressive.
        The BBC would love it, calling a state funeral for the ass bandit, well they gave one to Thatcher and she was a monumental cunt, anyone know where she is buried because I want to go and dig up her corpse and burn it just to make sure the cunt is dead

      • and of course the fact that he has done a shit load of coke over the years has got fuck all to do with his ‘manic depression’. Seems the ‘clever ‘ cunt hasn’t fathomed that out yet.

    • people think hes intelligent because he talks real cunting fast but he is really a dumb talentless cunt his favorite song is parklife

  8. The Daily Mail has been cunted before and its Editor, Paul Dacre, received a one-line cunting in 2009, so Dacre is long overdue for the more comprehensive cunting he truly deserves.

    Let’s be clear about this right from the off: Dacre is the worst, lowest, most despicable kind of cunt there is – even a real cunt’s cunt like Bono or Alex Salmond would feel rightly aggrieved at being lumped together with such a malignant, cock-breathed Uber Cunt as Paul Dacre.

    Despite the fact that his newspaper automatically condemns anyone who doesn’t accord with its own rose-tinted world view as crypto-communist saboteurs determined to bring the UK to its knees by any means necessary, Dacre’s politics – and his delusional sociopolitical paranoia – are not the issue here: it’s the endless tsunami of lies, hypocrisy and sanctimony which is so profoundly nauseating. The fact that the Mail is still openly referred to as a ‘newspaper’ seems somewhat oxymoronic too given the Mail’s abject failure to report facts without distorting them and editorialising every story to suit Dacre’s insidious illiberal agenda.

    Leaving aside the Mail’s repellent attitude to women of which ISIS would be proud (in Dacre’s world, women are decorative objects, always “flaunting” themselves and being tacitly censured for daring to go bra-less, notwithstanding the efforts of the male photographers and picture editors to artificially enhance such images), Dacre’s cuntitude is best exemplified by the Daily Mail piece some while back in which Ed Miliband’s late father was extensively attacked over several days.

    The Mail took one line from the diary of a teenage Miliband Snr and extrapolated this into a huge spread “proving” that Miliband Snr was “an enemy of Britain”. Because the teenage Miliband Snr chose to briefly vent his youthful frustrations in a private diary, that was justification enough for the Mail. As the row erupted and even the sad cunts who actually read Mail were horrified by this cowardly, spiteful (not to mention factually inaccurate) attack on a dead man, Dacre refused all requests for interviews and instead wrote further editorials supporting his insane view that anyone – even a teenage refugee just arrived in the UK – who wrote any kind of attack on our great British institutions was “an enemy of Britain”. Given that Dacre/the Mail hates and routinely attacks such great British institutions as the NHS, the welfare state and the BBC, I guess that makes Dacre/the Mail enemies of Britain too? The fucking hypocritical cunt. At least Miliband Snr enlisted and fought for Britain in WW2. What did Dacre’s dad do? He was a showbiz reporter for the Daily Express who got his boss Lord Beaverbrook to pull strings enabling him to avoid conscription. No wonder Dacre Jnr is such a coward and a cunt – it’s in his fucking genes.

    Dacre is a nasty, dangerous authoritarian bully and to hear him – and the Mail – talking about upholding valued freedoms just makes me want to stab the sanctimonious cunt in the eye. Like Murdoch, Dacre is not interested in freedom at all, he is only interested in power – and the exercise of power with impunity.

    So let’s take a quick look at the power Dacre currently enjoys: not only is he Editor of the Mail and Editor-in-Chief of the DMG Group, he has a controlling influence in the body that writes the Editors Code – which is odd since the Mail is the paper which most frequently transgresses that code. Why doesn’t the Mail ever receive any meaningful censure or sanction for doing so? Ah, that would be because Dacre is not only a controlling influence in the toothless Press Complaints Commission (recently rebranded as ‘IPSO’), but also a controlling influence in the body that funds the PCC/IPSO, so he is able to ensure that hardly any complaints against the Mail are ever investigated, let alone succeed. Is it any wonder that he and Murdoch have been shamelessly lying about how the Leveson recommendations equate to “state regulation of the Press akin to what goes on in Russia, Egypt and China” when in fact all that Leveson actually recommended was an independent body to oversee SELF-REGULATION by the Press itself to check that it was free from influence and interference by the likes of Dacre, Murdoch, et al? If there had been such rampant criminality in any other walk of life, the Mail would still be screaming for heads to roll at the very top of the organisation and for the immediate introduction of an independent regulator; yet when a decade of criminality within the tabloids is exposed, Dacre uses his paper to paint the Press as the hard-done-by victim. Yet more barefaced lies and nauseating hypocrisy.

    And just when you thought no human being could possibly be any more of a hateful cunt, Dacre manages to go the extra mile – by hiring the universally despised Piers Morgan (cunted six times previously, sacked from three high-profile media jobs and now likely to face phone-hacking and perjury charges) to be the Mail’s U.S. Editor-at-Large. I’m sure cunters here will agree that no one throughout recorded history, no one currently living and no one yet to be born, however superficially cuntish they might initially seem, could ever match the all-encompassing, deeply contemptible cuntitude of Paul Dacre.

    Dacre’s place in Is-A-Cunt history is secure: he is the most monstrous cunt on the planet and always will be, even when dead. For such is the infinite, transcendent scope of this cunt’s cuntitude that even when he is long gone and his stinking corpse lies rotting six feet under, just the distant memory of Paul Dacre will remain the very apogee of cuntitude in such a way that could never be equalled even if Stephen Fry, Piers Morgan, Rupert Murdoch, Gary Glitter, Max Clifford, Bono, Morrissey and every living politician were rolled into one.

    If there were any justice in the world, Dacre would get the full Mussolini treatment immediately – ideally televised on huge screens in town squares and sports stadiums – and there would be three full days of national holiday for rejoicing and street parties throughout the land. In the absence of such a prospect however, I sincerely hope and pray that Dacre contracts a terminal illness very soon and dies slowly in excruciating agony. He should be buried in a public place where his grave can be easily desecrated and where his remains can be dug up each year on the anniversary of his death for lepers to shit on.

    Failing that, Dacre’s home addresses – including his vast Scottish estate (Langwell Lodge) – can be found online. Now obviously it’s not my intention to incite violence… all I’m saying is, I’m sure there are cunters here who would gladly contribute to Flaxen Saxon’s air fare; but is there anyone who could arrange for a full BP tanker to be left for him in the car park at Heathrow with the keys in the ignition…?

    Still not convinced? Bear in mind all of the above while reading this:

    • Bloody hell, Fred. That’s a big one (if you’ll forgive the impression).

      I’ll post it when I can work up the energy to actually read it all…. 😉

      • Sorry Dioclese, but as far as Dacre is concerned, that’s just scratching the surface… 🙂

      • Can’t argue with a single word of that, Fred.. Dacre missed his calling… The cunt would not have been out of place in 1930s/1940s Germany, and I’m not joking either…

        The way Dacre gets away with what he does shows what a hypocritical joke Britain has become… For all its political correctness and the ‘You can’t say that’ culture, Dacre can spread his hate and bullshit every day to millions of people… Somebody says something on social media or sings a rum song at a football match, they get hammered… But Dacre and his arsewipe rag can do and say what they want… It’s OK for The Mail to make out that the working class are scum,that all immigrants are thick freeloaders, that women are empty headed dolls, and that the bastard McCanns (another pair of slippery gargantuan cunts!) are paragons of virtue and holier than thou… Also, Dacre’s ridiculous ideas about ‘Middle England’ are as weird and as sick as Hitler’s views on a Master Race and a Reich that would last a thousand years …

        The News Of The Screws probably deserved its closure due to the hacking thing… But there are far worse offenders among the British press… The ludicrous working class hating and Lady Di obsessed Express is one, but Dacre’s Mail is the fly on top of the dog turd… Dacre would give Goebells a run for his money…

      • To be fair to Dacre if you fancy a good snuff movie the Daily Mail is the go to place.

    • I’m actually banned from posting comments in the Mail. I’m banned because I dared to take offence at a story about ISIS, in which they referred to a photo of an ISIS shit bag as a “soldier”. I complained, politely. Shortly after, I received a message accusing me of using offensive language (I hadn’t, and I resent the orginal email to prove it) and telling me my account had been deleted. Fuck ’em.

      • What the fuck were you doing on the Mail website?
        I can only guess you had a browser hijack directing you to their cesspit of a website instead of your homepage.

        I once got caught short at work in the middle of nowhere working on a barn conversion, there was no toilet plumbed in and our company were too tight to get a portaloo so I had to take a shit in the field, stuck for something to wipe my ass on a work colleague offered me a copy of the Daily Mail, I told him to go fuck himself and sacrificed my t-shirt, there was no way I was going to soil my ass with a sheet of the Daily Mail

    • You are correct, any attempt to portray Miliband Snr as a dangerous Marxist is of course nonsense. After all you don’t go to the lengths he did to acquire wealth and property and then ensure the tax man doesn’t get his ‘fair share’ of inheritance tax when you pass on the property to your children if you were a Marxist, would you ?

      • That’s not the point, as you well know. The lying cunts at the Mail described Miliband Snr as “an enemy of Britain” based on one line in a diary he wrote when he was 18. The Mail said anyone who makes any written attack on Britsih institutions is an enemy of Britain – but that’s precisely what the Mail does every single fucking day.

      • I’m sorry I wasn’t addressing your point I was making another point which is relevant.

  9. If I may, I’d like to make a small addition to Fred’s epic rant. Dacre’s rag is overly fond of editorials that basically say “All kids today are disrespectful little bastards and their teachers are PC fuckwits.” And yet! Whenever some headteacher cracks down on uniform, behaviour or grooming, the fucking Mail always sides with the disgusting chavs who are complaining about their precious offspring’s “rights” or their fucking “self respect” or the fact that they’ve been “humiliated” by the school making them follow the same fucking rules as everyone else. Fucking cunts.

    Then the bastard Mail slags off immigrants – most of whose kids work hard at school because their parents want them to escape the shitty jobs they came to the UK to do. Plus most immigrant folks still beat the fuck out of their kids if they do the wrong thing; they don’t threaten to sue the fucking school if their precious darling doesn’t get exactly what they want immediate-fucking-ly.

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