Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Steven Moffat

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Steven-Moffat

Steven Moffat is a cunt. This smug, self satisfied, BBC royalty, nu-Who twat has ruined one of my favourite boyhood TV shows. His plots and stories are appalling. That River Song bollocks that lasted over two series (If she says “Spoilers” once fucking more….).

The frankly ludicrous story arcs and the substandard villains he has created. His terrible to non-existent use of classic Doctor Who foes (He has never written a decent Dalek or Cybermen story, and I dare say he never will!). Moffat claims to be a longtime Who fan, but I don’t think he gets it at all. His episodes of that Sherlock Holmes thing are also shite.

Been watching “Genesis Of The Daleks” featuring the great Tom Baker on The Horror Channel. That’s the real shit.

And that presenter on that particular channel (Emily Booth, I think). I’d really give that one…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

The Linekers

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Harry Lineker – Son of a Cunt : Was blissfully ignorant of the existence of this little tosser until I found this item all over the news. Apparently the little cunt was pulled up by old bill and is up before the beak for driving while incapable and only 6mg over the limit! Pathetic little wanker. Not had a job for two years, twenty year old ex-public school boy, son of crisp crunching old fuck Gary, and sponges orf the mater. She gives little Harrypoos pocket money donchaknow.

“And how do you intend to support yourself in the future Mr Lineker?” asks the beak.
“Might get a job on the telly like me pater Your Honour”.
“And how will you pay the fine Mr Lineker”
“Mumsy will settle everything”

Understand a fellow sponging orf the ladies, been doing it all me life, but one has an estate to support. Try tapping the pater you little cunt.

And the useless wanking degenerate cannot even hold a few pints orf piss poor beer.

Pleasure to have little Harrypoos back in me old regiment. Sarn’t Majah would have had him blowing orf all the NCOs for reveille. That pouty mouth made for it. Spot orf jankers. Soon set the lad straight.

Now that mouth on him has got me thinking. His ancient old man has made a tidy little earner by tonguing, sucking and swallowing those fucking crisps. He must have practised that mouth action somewhere….

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Gary Lineker was a goalhanging cunt, and not in the same class as Bobby Charlton, Geoff Hurst and Jimmy Greaves…

I remember Saint Gary’s sanctimonious bullshit when Eric Cantona decked that gobshite in 95… I can imagine the scenario if it had been Lineker at Selhurst that night:

Simmons: ‘Fuck off back to England, and fuck your mother, you English bastard!”

Lineker: ‘Steady on, old fruit… There’s no need for that…”

Both Linekers (father and son) are cunts….

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Hippies [2]

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I fucking hate hippies. When they take/steal/eat/drink/smoke something that is your’s and you complain to them it’s all “Hey! Don’t be such a breadhead, man!” and “All possession is theft!” and other such bullshit. Then they do the “Hey, it’s only a ten pound note/ a phone bill/ a pack of cigs/ a bottle of beer (and so on…). It isn’t a living thing or real life, dude!”

Then they try the “If it means that much to you, I’ll replace it…” With their whiny emotional blackmail voice in full effect: Hoping that you will say “It’s alright, forget it..” Well, bollocks to that. I came across many of these cunts in my college days (and the bastards never get their round in at the pub!).

Never ever trust a hippy!

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Dead Pool [12]

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blogchapmanpincher


* * * * RULES UPDATE * * * *
After an extensive public consultation exercise, the management – well, me actually – have decided to increase the allowable cunt count from three to five and leave it there. It has been pointed out that it drags on a bit otherwise! So fill yer boots…

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Dioclese (ME!!!!) who correctly guessed the next dead cunt would be investigative journalist Chapman Pincher who died on 5th August at the age 100. A man who was hated by the establishment for managing to get to shed loads of their dirty washing. You can read his obit here…

So, it would seem that I’m pretty damn good at predicting dead cunts (that’s my 4th) and thanks to Fred West for pointing out that the media coverage was so underwhelming that nobody noticed he’d died!

The slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 12. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion guest post on the subject of his/her choice and kudos of cuntishness aplenty. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Baroness Warsi [2]

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warsi cunt

So Baroness Warsi of Dewsbury has decided to resign. Good fucking riddance. That’s one less token piece of worthless shit in the cabinet.

So why the fuck was she there in the first place? Might well you ask. She qualified as a solicitor and went to work for the Tory MP for Dewsbury in his law practice. This apparently qualified her to stand in the election when he stood down. She lost. Shit, we didn’t get the token we wanted into parliament.

Never mind, we’ll just give her a life peerage and stick her in the cabinet anyway. In her own words “We need more people from urban areas voting for us, more people who are not white and more women. I play that back and think, I’m a woman, I’m not white, I’m from an urban area, I’m from the North, I’m working class — I kind of fit the bill.” No shit, Sherlock.

So why has she resigned. Surely not because she is seen as a waste of space? After all, she was formerly Conservative Party chairman, a role of which one member of the 1922 committee said “I just thought she was out of her depth. I have never seen anything like it – other than the last time she was before the 1922. I genuinely think she is the worst chairman we have ever had.”

So there it is. The Warthog has quit over a matter of principle in Gaza – something that as a Suni Muslim she is completely impartial about.Absolutely nothing to do with her being a total inept and incompetent token black, working class, northern, muslim woman at all.

Good fucking riddance. A failed exercise in political correctness is over. Cameron should be glad to see the back of her. If there was ever a justification for abolishing the House of Lords, then it’s Sayeeda fucking Warsi

Nominated by : Dioclese