Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

The British Legal System

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An cunting of our legal system is urgently required.

A bloke from Croydon is currently in custody for a tweet in which he claimed to have asked a muslim woman in the street how she could justify the Brussels atrocity. She appears to have given him short thrift by rightly claiming it was nothing to do with her. There has been no complaint from this woman as far as I can tell and there is no evidence that ‘offence’ was caused or indeed ‘ hatred’ was incited. All in all its just a daft tweet which spawned a series of funny piss takes as a consequence. However as you all know the thought police thought otherwise and took him into custody.

Meanwhile the leader of the central mosque in Glasgow has made statements supporting a known terrorist and fuck all happens to him. There is no doubt that our legal system is now under the control of fucking jackasses who need a good and proper cunting.

Nominated by: Vermin Cunt Spotter

The Speel Chucker

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'You have it easy. When I was your age, we didn't have spell checkers.'

The Spell checker is up for a well overdue cunting.

Whoever wrote the Algorithm(s) or programmed it obviously doesn’t use the word Cunt much so therefore must be a cunt.

I want to write Cunt it says Count, I want too write Cunting it says Cutting. Most of the time when your writing a cunting or reply you don’t bother checking everything and then when you read it after the spellcheck makes you the Cunter look a right can’t spell properly thick cunt. When your trying to accurately describe a cunt you don’t want to have to stop to check if the word you want to write is the word that is there, its ruins the flow.

So I think the Spellchecker is a count.

Nominated by : Black & White Cunt

Alexei Sayle [2]

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Alexei Sayle is a cunt…

Apart from him being a Scouse cunt and an ‘alternative comedian’ (a crime in itself) this fat bald twat is a hypocritical cunt trumpet of the highest order… The man, who in the eighties, professed to be a communist cunt and as far left as the Redskins (the band,) and also refused to participate in the Young Ones Comic Relief single due to the involvement of arch-Tory cunt, Cliff Richard, is now a comfortably well off middle class cunt who lives in a big house in some poncey place like Holland Park and shops at Waitrose… He also probably now votes Tory as well… Yet another gravy train jumping champagne socialist cunt… Never trust a Scouser, as the saying goes…

I defy anyone to watch this and not think ‘What a fucking cunt…’

Nominated by: Norman

Joe Wilkinson

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Joe Wilkinson is about as funny as cancer on a cunt. The 1970s bearded wally with nothing to say needs the earth to open him up and the comedy (ha) would will be no fucking different.

The prick attempts to be surrreal but ends up looking like the idiot cousin of Bilbo Bagshot, yes a fuckwit. Joe get back to the back of the queue, you are a nobody. Cuuuuuunt.!

Nominated by: Donkey Kong’s Balls

William Shakespeare

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Seeing as this (long time dead) cunt is in the news lately it seems rather apt that he receives a long overdue (400 years apparently) severe cunting.

Thanks to this fucking prick myself and countless others in my year at school were subjected to his fucking shit writings/plays/whatever etc. Those of you who disagree (probably very few) call me what you like but I wish I could go back in time to give this fucking gobshite a good swift kick in the bollocks and then a good kicking whilst he’s on the floor writhing in agony. He should have thanked his lucky stars that he got away with that in comparison to the sheer agony that me and my mates had to endure listening to his dross being rammed down our throats on a regular basis.

Because of this cunt any microbe of interest (if any) I may have had in the subject of English was destroyed in a heartbeat. Fuck you Shakespeare (posthumously), fuck you, you complete fucking cunt !!!

Nominated by: Captain Cunteye

Shakespeare; a man whose comedies aren’t funny and whose tragedies are comic. And don’t start me on the fucking sonnets..!

I did MacBeth for English Lit A level. I can still quote the fucking thing.

“Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace
From day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time”

Got that fucker right, eh Willy?!

Nominated by: Dioclese