Category Archives: William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare (2)

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Nomination: William Shakespeare.

Turned on the news the other day to see some cocksucker with a waxed moustache wanking on about fucking Shakespeare. Number one, anyone who has a waxed moustache in 2017 is a cunt and anything they say can be safely ignored. Number two (ooer, missus), I fucking hate the way Shakespeare is routinely described as the greatest writer (in English) ever. FUCK THAT STRAIGHT UP THE ARSE.

I’m pretty sure most cunters would agree that Shakespeare ruined their English lessons at school. Fucking pages of boring, barely understandable crap, interwoven with shite jokes and bullshit history. Shakespeare doesn’t hold a candle to Orwell, Hemingway or even Isaac Asimov when it comes to writing a decent fucking story.

Nominated by Cunt’s Mate Cunt.

William Shakespeare

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Seeing as this (long time dead) cunt is in the news lately it seems rather apt that he receives a long overdue (400 years apparently) severe cunting.

Thanks to this fucking prick myself and countless others in my year at school were subjected to his fucking shit writings/plays/whatever etc. Those of you who disagree (probably very few) call me what you like but I wish I could go back in time to give this fucking gobshite a good swift kick in the bollocks and then a good kicking whilst he’s on the floor writhing in agony. He should have thanked his lucky stars that he got away with that in comparison to the sheer agony that me and my mates had to endure listening to his dross being rammed down our throats on a regular basis.

Because of this cunt any microbe of interest (if any) I may have had in the subject of English was destroyed in a heartbeat. Fuck you Shakespeare (posthumously), fuck you, you complete fucking cunt !!!

Nominated by: Captain Cunteye

Shakespeare; a man whose comedies aren’t funny and whose tragedies are comic. And don’t start me on the fucking sonnets..!

I did MacBeth for English Lit A level. I can still quote the fucking thing.

“Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace
From day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time”

Got that fucker right, eh Willy?!

Nominated by: Dioclese