If you want to sell an inferior product, simply use the BBC or social media to link it to supposed “intelligence”, social status or most people’s basic need for acceptance and the desire to be seen as “up to date” and “modern”. That way you can sell any old crap such as hybrid cars, Stewart Lee’s “comedy”, Windows 10, Socialism, the new overpriced and overhyped plastic “smart” gadget or even Daniel Craig’s latest lame shitty excuse for a Bond movie.

It will sell even though the buyer can see that, really, it’s shite because no-one wants to be perceived as “thick” or “ignorant” or outmoded, even if they aren’t.

Vanity and insecurity trumps all and fills the bank accounts of cunts everywhere…

Nominated by: Mr Bastard

Just buy a decent bottle of white for £12 and run it through a sodastream, Even Oz Clarke wouldn’t know the difference

Nominated by: Boaby

If I ran the dealerships over here, it would go something like this:

Pickup Customer: Ah wowna pik erp trerk.
Dealer: Yes sir and do you live or work on a farm or ranch?
Pickup Customer: Nope. Ah jerst wowna pik erp trerk.
Dealer: I see. I’m struggling to understand your need for such a vehicle. Do you intend for this to be your ‘everyday’ vehicle?
Pickup Customer: Yerp.
Dealer: Very well then. Please follow me over to our frontal lobotomy department where we can make the necessary arrangements.

I’m telling you, these 2 ton oversized Tonka toys sit on your arse in rain, sleet, ice and snow. They cut in front of you for no reason when there’s miles of empty road behind you. They never use indicators and if you should ever honk the horn at them for doing something stupid and/or dangerous, well then you’re treated to a tirade of abuse and hand gestures like it’s YOU that’s done something wrong! The ignorant trash which drives these bloody things need rounding up, have the driving manual (Highway Code) tattooed onto their beer bellys, then kicked repeatedly in the groin area, then set on fire, then…..you get the general idea.

Nominated by: Imitation Yank