Lloyds Bank (3)

I would like to nominate Lloyds (The Cancer) Bank for a cunting.

I hold no religion but I do remember the odd story thrust upon me by our R.E. teacher. One story that struck a chord with me (in that I understood it’s meaning immediately as a kid) was that of the Poor Widow’s Offering.

This is the tale where after prayers in the synagogue the rich made a big show of their offering and how generous they were, while a poor beggar woman quietly (almost embarrassed by her poverty) places two small copper coins in the collection box and quietly walks away.

Jesus identifies that the woman’s offering was a far greater gift because while the rich’s offerings were greater in value, hers was greater on spirit because that amount meant nothing to them but her amount meant everything to her because it was all that she had.

The moral of the story being, whatever your gift, no matter how big or small, don’t make a song and dance about it because it doesn’t cut any mustard in heaven and it makes you a cunt on earth!

So why Lloyds Bank? Well at the same time we’re being virtue signalled to death with “right-on” and “inclusive” store/department ads, Lloyds have started an ad campaign extolling their MacMillan cancer training and being the bank that “understands” when you’ve been given the great news that you have the Big ‘C’ and there’s fuck all anyone can do.

I think it’s great that Lloyds have taken on training on how to deal and communicate with sufferers and their families in that most difficult of times but the reason why they are cunts is the flagrant promotion/advertising of how “caring” they are in order to win a few fucked-in-the-head notion of brownie points!?!

Do they think people sit there and think: “Ooh, I might get cancer. Better join Lloyds Bank just in case!?!”

All they needed was Sinatra singing the opening lines of My Way (“And now, the end is near…”) in their ad to put a cunt cherry on the top!

I would imagine that most of the good folk of IsAC have been touched in some shape or form by the Big ‘C’, whether personally, a family member, or friend, and to cash in on that anxiety as the “bank that cares about your cancer” is not only distasteful it’s an absolute disgrace!

“Regrets, I have a few…” – yes that Lloyds wasn’t allowed to fold by HM Govt when they had the chance!

Fucking cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a cunt!

Grenfell selfishness

I’m making this emergency cunting for this “Grenfell selfishness” involving victims and family of the Grenfell Tower tragedy and those facilitating this debacle.

The money falling off the money tree into this fast flowing river is ridiculous, much of it is unjustified and doesn’t help the situation or those involved.

The taxpayers seem to have landed this bill as I haven’t heard of one single insurance company having paid out. Anyone else?

Those in hotels are paying for nothing, no cooking, no dishes, housework, laundry etc etc because they won’t accept other accommodation and NOT that they haven’t been offered it.

Benefits still being paid despite compo payments taking savings above thresholds.

Free funerals & family travel accommodation costs met.

They gather daily in numbers and are all in contact with each other via phone & flowal media (warned to watch, what they say on line by their friendiee sources) “ganging up” against the local authorities at every opportunity.

The couple who lost “their uncle” stated after the memorial that they are “all getting to know each other really well and are like one big family now”.

There are some now expecting two homes where they previously lived in one, allegedly to make it easier for the local authorities to get them homes? Yeah right!

If one family reject a home, all the others know about it before the authority even get to chap another door to offer it to them.

Many are suffering understandable stress & trauma, which I express full honest sympathy with those residents who lost family and escaped themselves that night. I would never want to see that building again and would happily relocate away in order to do this.

The money from the government and the continued and escalating payments from charities collected and redistributed by the Red Cross coming in would easily enable this.

However this cuts the future flow of further compo. No more stress money for having to see / stay next to the tower. They will have to pay rent again when homed.

Some expect cash payments to “organise and pay their own” mental health counselling.

Some even expect a free home for life and the housing benefit paid “for what the government has done to them”. What the actual fuck?

The government didn’t do anything other than stupidly start offering money to meet costs that home insurance, landlords insurance or business liability insurances should have met. Now the government have started, they can’t help themselves. They are so busy chasing their arises over brexit that they can’t / dont want to see the rising costs involved here.

The insurance companies get a good old government back scratching and are pissing themselves, not paying out a coin and instead met at our expense.

What’s boiling my piss even more is those cunts from surrounding homes or even further away trying it on with success, jumping on this gravy train when unaffected other than the horrible view out their windows.

Victims families from out with the area / country are also being “put up while they wait for news”?

What news do they expect?, no more good news left, they want to hang around (off work with stress) likely right up until the last enquiry is complete. Why aren’t they returning home and grieving away from the situation that feeds their emotions and anger, maybe trying to get some normality in their lives restored?

The piss taking has to stop. I got offered a council flat in what was termed locally ” Gaza strip” which I refused. I then got offered another flat that was pretty shit, however I was told if I refused, I would be offered a different flat back at “Gaza” which if I refused would send me to bottom of housing list again.

I took the pretty shit flat and put in hard work, time and money i worked hard for, and eventually made it a nice home for me and girlfriend.

Twenty five years on, people are entitled to everything.

Yet I worked since left school never unemployed. I’m fighting DWP sanctions regularly for a poxy £72 a week due to an industrial accident which I’m off work unpaid, awaiting surgery.

I get sanctioned, accused of not going to medicals they didn’t ask me to attend, eleven weeks later they refund it and actually ask me to a medical which I attend. Two weeks later another sanction as some “nurse” reported back I’m fit as a fiddle. I object to the report full of lies & shit and now twelve weeks on awaiting a decision.

I wish I had stayed in Grenfell, not sitting here freezing, cunting to get a heat from inner rage, having to worry about Christmas or how I’m going to pay my gas bill in New Year. I’ve had a shit twenty months mainly due to the NHS waiting lists and shit from DWP every letter filled with joy!

DWP’s mates at HMRC join in kicking me while im down, expecting me to conjur up payment for a 2015 bill for £600 due to employer error when cunty DWP not paid me a penny for about 14 weeks now.

Government, DWP, HMRC & NHS have robbed me of two years of my life. I paid my end of contract with contributions on £3.5k earnings a month for last 20 years. Now I need & get fuck all but grief my medicated brain could do without.

Thank god for MasterCard or we would be homeless, not in a hotel getting wined & dined… HOMELESS!

Sellfish Grenfellians get it handed on a plate but it will never be enough. A working citizen fights for a slap in the face.

Sorry all, I’ve heard enough of it…i

Nominated by Basement Bob

The Apprentice (2)

We have to talk about The Apprentice.

Like a lecherous old uncle at a family gathering, this steaming pile of contrived horse faeces has long, long, long overstayed its welcome. How many years has the UK been running this now, 13 or 14 years?

In that time, it has transmogrified from a semi-interesting adaptation of Trump’s original – a bit of insight into the machination of the business world – to a completely scripted 60 minutes of shameless self-promotion for scrotum-faced egotistical tosspot, Lord Sugar of Cunt.

Flanked by two wankers – weird-looking cunt Karen Brady and Claude Bellendhead – Sugar proceeds to ‘direct’ a bunch of clueless, totally unsuitable fuckers who are either thick with Estuary vowels or thick Northerners. Gone are the days when candidates were selected with any kind of real business nous; instead, for many years, we’ve had precisely the same sort of shouty-cunty tryhards festooning all the other reality TV shows to the point where these cunts are parodies of parodies of business wankers. Insert endless management speak and truly cringeworthy, shameless attempts at being noticed, whatever the cost.

The climax of the show (I say climax, but it is as weak as your 5th ejaculation of the day when you can’t stop fapping to vintage porn) being the boardroom scene, which I understand isn’t actually a boardroom anywhere in Sugar’s estate but actually in some other building entirely, is just farcical. Cuntlord Sir Alan trotting out the same tired one-liners and giving it the whole ‘beligerent mentor’ routine. It’s all utterly predicable, tiresome and worst of all, champions thick cunts masquerading as people in business, not at all interested in their crappy investment plans but rather using the show to springboard themselves into TV presenting etc.

I despise the entire thing. If only one contestant, on the recieving end of yet another of Sugar’s cunt-defining “you’re fired”, would reach across and attempt to throttle the old ballbag beetroot red before the bouncers could prise him off… I could genuinely die a happy man.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Just Tattoo of Us

I’d like to nominate a TV programme I never even knew existed for a cunting called “Just Tattoo of Us”.

The basic premise is that you get two friends or family members and have them pick a tattoo which best describes their friend/relative and have that daubed on them for eternity.

All in the quest for “light” entertainement.

Moreover they select the perfect chav hosts with some cunt from Geordie Shaw and some cunt from “Towie” (whatever the fuck that is).

I remember watching the 1986 classic RoboCop and seeing mock adverts for TV shows like “Climbing for Dollars”, etc., thinking: “Ha! The future what a cunt! It’ll never be like that!”

Alas the reality 30yrs later is far worse.

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

Sports Cunt of the Year

Er… Who the fuck are these cunts?

Sports Personality of the Year – one of the most high-concentration gathering of cunts you’ll see ‘twixt this world and the next. I agree with many others who suggest the awards should be renamed – perhaps ‘De Facto Cunto’, ‘2017s Biggest Cunt who Runs on Grass’ or more simply ‘The Sporting Cunt’s Cunt’.

If you even care, the nominations for this year have been released (see how many you can identify in the above picture)

This is one of those seismic events where the cuntitude is exhibited on so many levels:

1. Hosted by the Al-BBC

2. A large hall packed with a vast array of overpaid, over-inflated egos

3. The title of the fucking award. The shortlist is always picked based upon achievement, so why the fuck argue semantics on it being the ‘sports personality’ award? What’s ‘personality’ got to do with big-mouthed virtue-signalling dour cunt Andy Mugray winning it three times? Alternatively, just make it genuinely about personality – nominate people like that snooker player who said all the Chinese are cheating cunts, or the pub-league darts player who can fire an arrow at the treble 20 directly from his arse.

4. Clare Balding wheeled out to bark her way through proceedings with all the finesse a Tourette’s sufferer on acid

5. Gary Lineker. A man whose cuntitude speaks more volumes than Franklin W. Dixon’s Hardy Boys entire back catalogue

6. The usual intersecting VTs foisted upon viewers affording coverage to the flids, the minorities, the wimminz and all the other sports which you either shake your head at in disbelief or laugh uncontrollably at the shiteness of

7. The annual mass-fellation of Usain Bolt

SPOTY is a an enormous festival of monumental cunt, by monumental cunts, for monumental cunts.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back