Royal Mail [4]

I should like to deliver a first class cunting to the Royal Mail. I could deliver it second class but it would take another 2 days to turn up…
Finding myself at my lowest ebb, in utter hopelessness, with absolutely no other option, (including walking to the destination parcel-in-hand), then I am forced to call upon the “services” of the Royal Mail, or, indeed ParcelFarce to deliver items for me.
Overlooking the base ignominy of standing in a queue of curmudgeonly cunts with all the time in the world, notwithstanding the cataclysmic impertinence of the “What’s in the package ?” line of interrogation from the boss-eyed bellend behind the bulletproof glass – Here’s the cuntiest part:

“What’s the value ?” Fair enough question you may think.

No – If I wish to send anything VALUABLE, via these feckless fuck-buckets, then I must pay them an extra sum to insure MY package against:

1. Some light-fingered Royal Mail cunt taking a fancy to it as it passes through THEIR system.
2. Some heavy-handed Royal Mail cunt bouncing/booting/lobbing it around the various bins whilst it passes through THEIR system.
3. It mysteriously disappears whilst it passes, etc, etc.

WTF ? That’s like my local MOT garage saying they will test my car for the usual £44 but as it’s a classic Porsche* and therefore VALUABLE, I must pay some extra insurance in case:

1. Our lads take a fancy to your car and fuck off with it
2. Our lads drop it off the fucking ramp
3. It mysteriously disappears whilst it passes… (or in this case, fails).

Royal Mail ? Fucking cheeky CUNTS

*No, I don’t have a classic Porsche. It’s an old Astra Estate with 250K on the clock.

Nominated by Cunt Reviled

Gary Lineker (9)

Gary ‘Ol’ Jug Ears’ Lineker deserves another cunting. Yesterday, Leave campaigners carried out a stunt to protest the outrageous stitch up that Theresa the Appeaser performed on our already beleaguered fisherman. A small trawler sailed up the Thames to Parliament, and Nigel Farage dumped a load of fish into the river. Cue Lineker, who took to Twatter and posted a photo of Nige, along with the boat’s skipper, Aaron Brown, each holding a fish over the side of the boat, with the comment; “Rarely have 2 such slimy, smelly, slippery creatures held on to some fish”.

People can, and frequently do, say what they want about Nigel. It goes with the territory. He doesn’t care and, frankly, neither do I. But to insult a hard working fisherman who, unlike Lineker, doesn’t scam £1.75 million per year from British TV licence payers, not to mention the obscene amount he gets from Walkers, that’s when you know you’re dealing with a nasty, arrogant, elitist, left wing, fuckwit of a cunt. Personally, I don’t think he’s worth a single penny of the obscene amount the BBC gives him.

It wouldn’t be so bad if this a one off. But it isn’t. Like most of his ilk, Lineker is a fanatical Remainer and has frequently taken to twatter to express his dislike of the 17.5 million people who voted to leave, often resorting to immature insults. And as we all know, Remainers are a bunch of childish cunts, who have spent nearly two years sulking over the referendum and insulting 17.5 million decent, hard working British voters who exercised their democratic right to decide for themselves whether they would to stay or leave, instead of voting the way that traitorous cunts like Lineker wanted us to vote. And it’s not just Brexit, he’s done it with people who have no interest in any of the many leftie causes that he supports, or those who simply disagree with his comments.

I used to like Lineker when he was playing football. Sure, he had a reputation for being a bit of goal hanger, but he seemed to be a pretty decent person. Then he retired and went to work for the BBC, and the REAL Gary Lineker emerged. A nasty, arrogant, opiniated twat. Now, the mask has well and truly slipped. Cunts like Lineker seem to think they’re better than the rest of us. That they’re more intelligent, more intellectual and, therefore superior. They seem to think that democracy is something that only they should have a right to, because the rest of us aren’t intelligent enough to understand complex issues such as the EU, and can’t be trusted to make what they consider to be the correct decision, i.e. to vote to stay in an organisation that steals billions of pounds from us every year, hates us, mocks and insults us regularly, is less democratic than the former Soviet Union and is run by “leaders” who nobody outside the EU parliament voted for and are nothing more than grossly overpaid, incompetent bureaucrats.

Remainers are childish cunts, especially those who are on the left of the political spectrum. Every day they dream up plots to reverse Brexit and hurl insults at 17.5 million people, simple because we exercised our right to decide for ourselves how we would vote in the referendum, rather than simply voting the was THEY wanted us to vote. I hate to break it to them, but that’s how democracy works. One person, one vote. Cunts like Lineker though, seem to think that the concept of democracy should be, “people who don’t share my opinion should not be allowed to vote, because they’re stupid and wrong”. That’s not democracy, that’s totalitarianism.

To my mind, if you’re against us leaving the EU, that’s up to you. Most Remainers, although still unhappy about it, have accepted that we will soon no longer be members of that malicious, insidious cesspit of dictators. Some, like Lineker, are incapable of accepting it, because their arrogance, their sense of superiority and their general disdain of Britain, her people and everything British won’t allow them to accept it. In my opinion, people like that are in the wrong country. They should be in one of the other member countries. So, Gary Lineker, mega cunt, off you fuck!

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Emergency cunting for ISAC staple and hall o’famer Gary Lineker.

After yesterday’s Thames protest against the governments continued fuck up over fishing in UK waters, which saw fisherman on behalf of the disgruntled fishing industry throw dead fish into the stretch of the river outside parliament, good old champagne cuntfuck Gary Lineker tweeted the above.

Farage can look after himself but the real cuntitude of Lineker’s tweeting twatcunt fucksploits is the layered attack on hard-working fishermen worried about their continued compromise thanks to our spineless fucking government. Focusing on easy targets like Farage and ignoring the reasons for the protest, Lineker the monumental cunt has thankfully received largely a backlash from many users on the above comments; many astutely pointing out how Lineker’s faux-outrage only ever appears on select socialist causes – nothing from this talking giblet for example on the Telford fucking shocker of a scandal.

I utterly fucking despise crisp-nicking Shitteker; a man in may eyes famous for being a cringe-worthy scrounger on the pitch, for shitting himself during Italia ’90 and for being the voice of liberal entitlement since the advent of social fucking media. The hatred for this bastard even exceeds that of Lily ‘Xenomong’ Allen. Everything about this man – the hypocrisy, the smug chipping in under the false veil of social justice, the greed, the risible gay art student beard – everything connected to him is utterly fucking contemptible.

An arch-cunt of modern times to be sure, Gary Lineker.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Lucy Worsley [2]

A lightweight cunting for Lucy Worsley.

I am keen on history and will watch most programmes that inform and interest. Until, that is, I tried to watch a programme fronted by Lucy fucking Worsley.

What a simpering, childlike, preening cunt. The object of her presentation seems to be for her to dress up. Like an objectionable, precocious child. Showy and impossibly posh. A repulsive, pointless, twee cunt.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

The Russky Con

Never for one minute believed all the huffing and puffing over a coupla dead Ruskies in Salisbury. So a few Putin goons wafted a spot orf spy spray over a double agent/dodgy oligarch and his missisky. Par for the course doine me neck orf the woods. Johnson and May outraged and defending the honour orf Blighty? International incident? Fuck orfski. Just a media smokescreen to cover their total capitulation over the terms orf the Brexit negotiation.

Now they have slipped that one past the ever vigilant newshounds orf the media we get reports orf how they are backing orf on their hard line stance, reducing the rhetoric ect ect. Blighty’s defences are fucked, we have no diplomatic leverage and our “allies” have issued their communiques very vaguely in our support and offered to hold our coat in any fight. Needless to say the old British Bulldog no longer has a pair orf dentures that fit so once again, discretion being the better part of value, we bottle it and retreat, the laughing stock orf the world.

Poor old Blighty. Can we fall any lower?

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

Faith Schools

Jewish,Muslim,Christian etc….I care not. Ban all religious teaching in schools. There’s plenty of time when people get older for them to decide if religion suits them. As it is,most teachers at these places are raving maniacs or deviants. They should only be allowed to spout their gibberish to people sensible enough to tell them to “Fuck Off.”

God doesn’t belong in schools. He belongs in the minds of mentally ill degenerates. Keep him there.

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler