Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Ant McPartlin

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I would hereby like to nominate Ant Mcpartlin for a cunting of the highest order.

This over sized fore-headed cunt wrench, with the talent of a mummified slug, has once again demonstrated why abortion should be legal.

Now the cunt has been involved in a RTA causing injury to others, more than likely when his fucking fore head collided with passing traffic.

He is to TV what the bomb of Hiroshima was to landscape fucking gardening, but that was a one off event, whereas this cunt is akin to genital warts and keeps coming back.

I have never posted before, but enjoyed the many cuntings, given with great accuracy by others.

But I felt I had to nominate as this prick has reached a 10 on my cunt’ometer.

Thank you my fellow cunters

Nominated by Dry Itchy Cunt

I am struggling to understand how this piece of donkey smegma has managed to dine out on such a paucity of talent. This cunt has miraculously managed to rise to the surface of TVs swamp of shite and become very rich and successful to boot.

I simply cannot stand this cunt and his atrophied sidekick. His alleged drink driving stunt has resulted in the injury of a three year old child. This places him at the Blair and Adonis mantle of cuntitude, in my book. A high price to pay for ridding this beloved turd from the nation’s idiot lanterns, but one can only pray that the cunt receives a substantial custodial sentence. It will be a true travesty of justice if some soppy judge lets him off the hook with a fine and suspended sentence.

He will be a marked man in jail. Try presenting Saturday Night Takeaway when your arsehole is the size of a dinner plate. Cunt.

Nominated by Paul Maskinback

“I am Jazz”

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I would like to nominate the yank TV show “I am Jazz” for a cunting.

Yesterday (up ‘ere in the Nights Watch defending the Great Wall) twas a bit snowy and the younglings were advised that school would be shut.

Venturing downstairs for a cup of rocket fuel I saw the pair of them engrossed in some shit yank TV programme of the Kardashikunt mold.

My daughter (the elder) pointed out that one of the (rough looking) teenage girls. Well I had to do a double take because despite the long hair and tits it had a voice deeper than a blue whale and hair on its chest!!??!!

Apparently “I am Jazz” follows the life story of these deluded teens in their quest to have their sausage lopped off!

I mean it’s bad enough for one-off documentaries covering such mental illness (which is what it is) without making an ‘n’ series TV show about it! And I certainly don’t want it over here – you cunts!

I wouldn’t care is the main protagonist “Jazz” even a likable teen? No, he/she/it is a whiney “me me me” cunt (without one, but soon to be a double cunt just like Bruce Jenner).

Nominated by Rebel Without a Cunt!

Sport Relief (2)

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A cunting for Sport Relief in general and BBC Yorkshire in particular.

The presenters of Look North (Leeds studio) have put their sofa on a trolley and are pushing it around Yorkshire. For Sports Relief.
This follows a 3 legged walk a few years ago. For Sports Relief.
These pointless activities are for charidee of course but you have to wonder what it costs to host these pointless cuntfests and wouldn’t it be better to donate that cost? And perhaps give less publicity to Z list talentless wankers?

On to where the money goes from this and a myriad of other pointless activities.. Some seems to go to UK causes but most seems to go to Africa. Yep, the black shithole where it can be stolen, buy arms, fund paedo aid workers etc. As if they don’t get enough.

So, a cunting for Sport Relief the bastard child of Comic Relief and all it’s good works.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Caroline Lucas

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Caroline Lucas thinks its okay for snowflakes to block a runway trying to prevent a plane from taking off with “deportee’s” on board.

How did these cunts even know details about this secret unscheduled flight? More security breaches?

Lucas puts GB security at risk by suggesting these organised criminal security breaches are forgotten?

There are serious laws regarding breaching airport security, being airside without relevant travel documents, being on the apron / runway surface, disruption to flights and traffic etc etc many of which are bound by aviation laws. Then there’s the obstruction of the deportation laws as well?

I’m betting there’s a high parking Stanley representation involved in this “peaceful” mission.

We cannot allow our country’s laws be made a mockery of any longer and when your deemed no longer welcome, then its time to leave.

A serving MP should be not be in office if they feel asking that 15 criminals involved in such a serious organised crime be pardoned is appropriate. It highlights concerns in her ability to think and function in the best interests of Great Britain and its security.

I thought the hijacking of vessels was more the style of Greenpeace than the Green Party.

Nominated by Basement Bob

The Home Office / De La Rue

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This is a difficult one because they BOTH deserve to have their fucking heads banged together (or, at least, nail-gunned to a passport).

Home Office: “Hey, we’re leaving the EU in 2019. What can we do to show our newfound independence and assert our national identity? I know! Let’s get the French to print our passports!”.

Fucking idiots.

The culture secretary, Matt Hancock, said that EU regulations were to blame.

Really?!

German passports are printed by Bundesdruckerei (German, state owned), Spanish passports are printed by Fábrica Nacional de Moneda y Timbre (The Spanish Royal Mint for fuck’s sake!), Italian passports are printed by Instituto Poligrafico e Zecca dello Stato (Italy’s NATIONAL printing office – can you see a pattern developing?). French passports are printed by Groupe Imprimerie Nationale (French, state owned – quelle surprise). The French government even made the decision not to put the job out to tender AND THIS IS ACTUALLY ALLOWED UNDER EU RULES! Matt Hancock, take note.

De La Rue were apparently £120m more expensive over 5 years than the company who have [to press] been awarded the contract. Their chief executive, Martin Sutherland, apparently acknowledged that his company had been beaten on price in an “open competition” but he said that was “unfair”. He immediately took to the BBC to moan about it and said Theresa May or Amber Rudd, should “come to my factory and explain to my dedicated workforce why they think this is a sensible decision”. Well, it was a decision taken by a Government Department – just where the fuck do you think common sense came into it? Why don’t YOU go to your factory and explain that YOUR company was 120 million pounds more expensive than your competitors?

Surely The Home Office and De La Rue should have sat down for an “off the record” chat and prevented this nationally humiliating debarcle. Give me 10 minutes in a room with Amber Rudd, Martin Sutherland, a baseball bat and immunity from prosecution and I think we could come to an amicable agreement to keep the remaining 80% of our passport printing in good old Blighty.

Nominated by Thirkleby Spunktrumpet