Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Gary Lineker (10)

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Gary Lineker deserves yet another cunting. Once again, this jug eared fucktard has expressed his disdain for democracy and the will of the majority by announcing his support for the ‘People’s Vote Summer of Action’ to avoid a no deal scenario, which according to Lineker, will have ‘terrible consequences’ for the UK. Also, Lineker reckons that the mess our politicians have made of Brexit is entirely because of us, the people, giving them the ‘problem’ of Brexit, by voting to leave the EU. Damn us pesky plebs.

No, Gary, WE are not responsible for the fuck up that parliament has made of Brexit. THEY are responsible for it. As with all the other EU loving traitors, like you, the vast majority of MP’s have blatantly refused to abide by the democratically expressed will of the majority. It’s been just over two years since the referendum, and we are no closer to leaving that wretched disorganisation than we were the day after the vote. That is entirely down to parliament. They were given clear instructions by the majority to carry out a complete and total withdrawal from the EU. Instead of doing that, they have spent 25 months arguing over what THEY think Brexit should be.

If people disagree with us leaving the EU, I have no problem with that. This is, supposedly, a free country, and they have every right to express their opposition. Cunts like Lineker though, think they also have the right to try to go against the will of the people, they are wrong. In my view, Lineker and all the other Brexit saboteurs are traitors. Plain and simple. And as said before, if they the love the EU so much, they should fuck off to an EU member state and leave those of us who love this country to get on with making it great again.

Gary Lineker, you overpaid, undereducated, jug eared cretin, you are a cunt!

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

It is hard to imagine that Gary Lineker could out cunt his already colossal cunishness but whether it is his DNA or lack of brain cells dear old Gary has managed to ramp up his cunt level yet again by giving his name to the campaign for another EU referendum. Our deeply philosophical and astute politically mined ex-footballer has declared to the nation ‘Brexit feels like it is “going very wrong indeed’ he quickly followed this rhetoric with the statement
‘I am not a politician but I know when something is going wrong and right now Brexit feels like it is going very wrong indeed.’

Well, you may not be a politician but that has not stopped you acting like a right cunt on all things Political. My advice is just to keep talking shit about football and keep out of the public eye with you inane comments because Gary all you are doing is proving to a nation what a truly mega cunt you are.

Nominated by iamnot

Michelle Wolf

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Double cunting for Netflix and Michelle Wolf. Michelle Wolf is a ‘comedian’ who has a show on Netflix called The Break with Michelle Wolf, and what does one of the more recent (at the time of writing) segments involve? The celebration and advocation of abortion. That’s right – not just a pro choice argument for abortion – for which, despite not really being pro choice myself, there are legitimate arguments regarding personal liberty – but AN ACTUAL CELEBRATION OF ABORTION and all the negative mental issues that come with it. Here’s the video – fair warning, I’ve never been so repulsed by something in my entire life.

Meaning that not only is Michelle Wolf a cunt for saying that abortion should be celebrated instead of being mourned as an occasionally necessary evil, but Netflix are also fucking cunts for signing off on and therefore endorsing such repugnant views. Whilst they do have the right as a private company to promote such things the fact that have shows how morally repugnant their company politics are.

Fuck off Michelle Wolf and fuck off Netflix, you sociopathic cunts.

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt

Richard Ayoade

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I must CUNT, most severely (possibly not for the first time):

The shit-brown man in the shit-brown suit

From the current HSBC ad. They are all grim viewing (Bank of Mum & Dad, bank of Mum & Mum, bank of Dad & Dad, bank of grandfather & goat, and often with an anti-Brexit, global village pervery about them), but the current one is just nauseating.

He looks like a horrible caricature, brought to life. Am surprised we don’t see him riding a camel.

Nominated by HBelindaHubbard

I cunted that HSBC advert with him, the one that desperately tried to cram in global gadgets and had the tagline “We’re all in this together.” It was blatantly anti-Brexit and slurped at the shitty teet of the odious EU, but now can’t find it (!?).

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Family Tree Seekers

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I want to Cunt Family Tree seekers.

There I was, sat in the kitchen perusing the Death column in my local paper when my pleasure was rudely interrupted by a hammering on the door.  It was so loud and inistent that I assumed that either the Excise man had made good on his threats following the recent unpleasantness, or ISAC had published my name and address and I was under siege from the very occasional person who may have misconstrued one of my posts. 

However when the dogs and I flung the door open, ready to go down in the style of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, I was faced with an old gent wielding a walking-stick which he must have used to bray at the door.  I could see that the dogs had the beating of the pensioner if he cut up rough, so I demanded to know what the Fuck he wanted.  Obviously not in the least intimidated by 2 snarling dogs and one  snarling cunt, he set to explaining to me that he was researching his family tree and believed he was some kind of distant relative of mine.

I was taken aback by this unwelcome revelation, and before I could gather my wits he asked if he could see the old family bible and any other documents or photos I might have.  Fortunatey, by that point I’d composed myself sufficiently to demand of the coffin-dodging grave-peeker if he thought that I was some kind of Public Records Office.  I was in the middle of telling him I’d never heard of his family surname in connection with mine (I had) and that I had better things to do than stand on my doorstep bandying gossip with a complete stranger, when he said he had documents and old maps in the car which he’d like to show me. 

I let him wobble back down across the stackyard to his car, gather up his papers, and teeter right back to my door.  Just as he reached out to show me some bit of paper I shut the door on him.  These Family Tree searchers are mostly busybodies hoping that they’ll stumble on some misplaced inheritance, although by the look of the old goat that I chased, I was a sight more likely to collect from his will than he was from mine. 

I have no interest in my close family, never mind some grasping old fart who probably hadn’t bought one off those life-assurances policies and was hoping that I’d spare him the shame of a Beggar’s Funeral by contributing to the expense.  He was wrong.

Fuck them.

Nominated by: Dick Fiddler

Saira Khan

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Saira Khan and her recent revenge play for headlines. For some reason, she says she failed to see the humour in Charlie Brooker’s assessment of her character when she was in The Apprentice about ten years back. Taking advantage of the ‘all men are bullies and cunts’ strategy which all the media ladies must be reading books about somewhere, she forgets that he rarely put a nice word about anyone in print, his commentary usually summed up British opinion, and, in my opinion actually was outrageous enough that you knew it wasn’t to be taken too seriously.

She claims it made her depressed. Okay, we all get depression and it fluctuates from time to time and she was in a bad place having exhausted all her energy on trying to win fights in the boardroom against a bunch of people who’s delusions were similar to her own. I don’t see she needs to bring Brooker into it. I mean, why not blame us all – he only wrote a version of thoughts lots of people had because, quite simply, her first forey into the public eye (and every one since) does not always show her in the best light.

She accuses often but doesn’t like it when the shoe is on the other foot. Perhaps if she wasn’t trying to force her opinion down other peoples throats she would have more time to listen and understand.

She has opened herself up hoping for pity but has been shown on camera as someone very conscious of her plays for power so it angers me, just as the other women who have been completely compliant in their own actions find a way to blame others, particularly men.

I do feel sad for her having gone through the sludges of media life and publicity and not dealing with it well but accusing someone else of making you want to kill yourself because of a few aimed barbs from a funnyman (and he didn’t even make her a running joke a la Boyle style) is also a form of bullying. She wants revenge and revenge is never pretty. She ought to remember that when considering her image she cares so much about.

In fact, let’s make this a cunting for all celebrities that try to manufacture an image based on blame, instead of focusing on what they are actually sometimes quite good at.

Nominated by Quirk