Lionel Messi

FC Barcelona v Bayern Munich - UEFA Champions League Semi Final First Leg

Lionel Messi is a cunt…

I’m not disputing the lad’s talent, but the hype he gets is absurd… Not to mention him being FIFA’s favoured child (how he won player of the 2014 World Cup, I’ll never know)… Sure, he’s good with the ball, but opposition defenders aren’t allowed to touch him, he plays on pitches that are like carpets, he plays with a lightweight ball and boots, and players are always so respectful to him (ie: they kiss his arse)…

What Messi does not do is play on pitches that are frozen rock hard or mudbaths, play against the hardest and dirtiest players (Hunter, Yeats, Bremner, Chopper Harris etc), he doesn’t play with a heavy duty leather ball and with heavy boots, and he’s also never shagged a Miss World…

Messi better than George Best? My arse…

Nominated by: Norman

17 thoughts on “Lionel Messi

    • I’ve always thought that arrogant twat Ronaldo is the spitting image of Lee Evans.

      And he’s a cunt.

      • Ronaldo is a narcissistic cunt, no doubt about it…
        He isn’t half as gifted (or good looking) as Best was, but he thinks he is… Ronnie should cover The Beatles first hit, with a little change to the words:

        ‘Love, love me do… You know I love me…’

      • He’s an arrogant, preening cunt. He’s part of the reason I lost interest in football. There was also the increase in ticket prices, the ridiculously greedy pay demands (especially from mediocre players), and, worst of all, DIVING.

        I’m a man who believes in fairness. I don’t see the point in playing a game if you have to resort to cheating in order to win. Which is why it’s my firm belief that footballers who dive should be fed into mincer, feet first, and then thrown to the lions and tigers at the nearest zoo.

        That won’t happen though. So diving should bring a red card, a two match ban and a £50,000 fine, payable by the player

      • Gordon Hill (great United winger from the Doc’s 70s team) said ‘Diving is disgusting. If a player dived in my day he’d be called a coward. ‘ And Merlin was spot on… There was no diving or imaginary card waving in those days and the game was all the better for it… Foreign fancy dan players brought diving into the English game..OK, that City bluenose cunt, Francis Lee, was a diver supreme in the 60s and 70s… But apart from him playacting was virtually nonexistent… I never saw certain players take a dive (the aforemnetioned Hill, Coppell, Giggs, Cantona, Robson, Solksjaer), but I’ve seen plenty of others do it (Beckham, Rooney and especially Ronaldo), but what else can on expect from cunts like that…

      • I actually agree with QDM the game has gone astray. Plus who knows what goes on behind the scenes maybe some teams are told to take a dive for a big cash payout or something I dunno. Its not what it use to be!

      • Yeah, Marsh was a cunt too… As Gordon Hill said, nobody dived at United then… The threat of Martin Buchan kicking them up the arse was a deterrent in itself… I remember when Hill didn’t defend properly and Buchan gave him a clout round the ear on the pitch and in front of the TV cameras… Great days…

    • Went out with a bird from Argentina years ago… Fucking hell, she was shit hot… A great girl actually…

      • Round about the time of Falklands thing, I was in a dive in Skaithos at four in the morning pissed out of my head. This bloke came up to me and said “You are fucking English pig, yes?”
        I looked for the knife and figured I was so pissed at least I wouldn’t feel it going in! “Yeah, so fucking what?”
        “I am argentine pig” says he. I think “Oh fuck!”
        “General Belgrano” says he. “Oh double fuck” thinks I.
        “Fucking good shot. Galtierie fucking pig. I buy you drink yes?”
        We sat there until well after sunrise and got even more pissed. I never saw him again…

      • That’s a great story. Just goes to show that there are exceptions to every rule. On an even happier note, Uber Cuntflaps, El Chupacabra has gone now. Good fucking riddance to the ugly bitch. Let’s hope the new Argy Presidente has a higher IQ.

      • The bird I went out with was a River Plate fan… I thought Stretford Enders were hardcore fans, but this girl was a fanatic… If River Plate lost (especially to the hated Estudiantes) it would be ‘Bastardo’ and things flying about… She was great though, and she had a magnificent arse…

  1. I am not interested in football and I have never come across anybody interested in football.

    If I wanted to watch retarded rapists kicking a ball about – I’d become a prison visitor.

    • Stan – thank Christ someone else feels the way I do about the second gayest of all sports. Your second sentence is a corker, and I would like to borrow it please.

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