Jeff Bezos

Jeff Bezos. You know, the guy who owns Amazon.com.

The only reason I want him cunted is because his wealth has today officially passed the $150,000,000,000 mark (that’s 150 billion for all the thick cunts out there). That means he is roughly $150,000,000,000 richer than me, give or take a dollar or two.

Now I think that’s very unfair and mean of him. OK I accept the fact that he’s a self made technological and financial whizkid and I’m just a layabout thicko whose main attempts at making money involves things called Betfair and William Hill. Still, I think its very rude and disrespectful of Mr Bezos to flaunt his wealth so blatantly in front of me. It hurts my feelings and pride.

He reminds me of Harry Enfield’s Mr Loadsamoney, always waving fivers in front of poor people like me. I really can’t think of any other reason why he’s a cunt but surely having $150,000,000,000 in the bank is reason enough?

Nominated by CuntsR-Us (a jealous cunt)

Chris Evans [5]

I detest the four-eyed ginger Spacca. I just wish that he’d been to school with me. I’d have bullied the Cunt relentlessly until he couldn’t speak without a stutter and pissing himself. Wouldn’t have made much of a DJ if he swamped the studio with drool and piss every time he tried to open his flap.

I haven’t listened to the bastard for months. I couldn’t stand the endless talk about his family,very big house in the country and cars. However this morning after that fucking “Angels” song by Robbie (arsebandit) Williams started up on my new channel, I retuned to Radio 2. I was just in time to hear The Cunt Evans banging on about “Glasto” next year. That was enough for me,anyone who talks about “Glasto” is obviously a rampaging half-wit.

I had hoped that after getting the sack from Top Gear that the braggart would be so ashamed that he would load his family into one of his “I’ve just bought such and such car for £250k, blah,blah,blah) vehicles, loop a 50 yard long rope around all of their necks,tie one end to a tree in the grounds of his country estate and drive off at 90mph.

Apparently Evans has been encouraging his 5 year old son to wear a dress…as a DJ,I wonder if Chris’ll Fix It for the child to make an early appearance on the celebrity circuit?

Fuck him.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

The Beckham media circus


A real front page cunting is in order for elderly footballer ponce David Beckham and his ugly brats. Every day every tabloid in the land has some vacuous photo-op like this one:

Who cares what the old media whore is up to?. Is there no level below which he would fail to stoop to get his fucking face in the papers?. He seems to think everyone is fascinated by his oxygen-wasting life, and the kids since birth have been employed to fuel. Right from the Beckham’s first born getting circumcised, to the last one looking for a school there is no part of their lives this pair of arseholes is not prepared to make public to ensure they keep in the public eye. Their insane desire for publicity seems even more extreme than Anthony Blair and his equally ugly family.

Beckham is encouraging his kids to grow up to be self-obsessed poofs.

Nominated by W.C. Boggs

The Left [2]

The left are due a nomination. Jacob Rees Mogg made the silly decision to advertise the fact he was on holiday in New York on the internet. So left wing retards descended on his home and vandalised the place. Apparently, they sprayed the words, “posh scum” on his windows and, “shut up and die” and, “dickhead” on his garage. They also scattered condoms on his garden, presumably a reference to him being Catholic, and left an effigy of Corbyn…sorry…a dildo…on the bonnet of his wife’s Range Rover and painted the symbol for anarchy on the car.

The fact that these democracy hating sacks of shit have only done this while he was away, says a lot about how cowardly they are. And it’s not just Tories they are attacking now. Corbyn’s followers are calling for the Noncefinder General himself, Tom Watson, to quit as deputy leader of the Labour Party, after he commented on the Party’s dismal failure to tackle anti-Semitism within its ranks. And Tony Benn’s granddaughter has received online abuse from Momentum morons, after she similarly criticised Labour for failing get rid of the many racists and anti-Semites.

Lefties have always been enemies of democracy, free speech, reasoned debate and many of the other things that all free, civilised countries enjoy. They’ve also been quick to level accusations of racism, Islamophobia, sexism, homophobia, etc at others. And their response when those same accusations have been levelled at them, has been violence, intimidation, talking and shouting over people who were trying to comment, to drown them out, insults and general immature behaviour. However, that’s all become far worse since their Messiah, Corbyn was elected leader of the Labour party.

And when he was first elected as Labour leader, he promised “a kinder, gentler politics”. Those words have since proved to be a lie. In recent weeks, Momentum have been likened to Militant Tendency, that bunch of far left loons who infested the Labour party back in the 80’s. I would go further than that. Momentum’s behaviour, especially since the anti-Semitism scandal broke, has been more akin to the behaviour of the Nazi party in the 1930’s.

We all remember Thornberry’s tweeting of a photo of an Essex white van man’s house, covered in England flags. The sneering tone and unspoken disapproval of an Englishman and England in general, not to mention the implication that the man was racist, Islamophobic, etc, is not an exception, it’s the rule. The entire left wing hate the UK, especially England and the English people. They hate democracy, they despise freedom of speech and freedom of thought and they firmly believe that anyone who does not subscribe to their fucked up beliefs is ‘far’ right. And if you dare to publicly change those beliefs, you will be met with most vile abuse, insults, threats and intimidation.

For them to call anyone scum, is hypocrisy at its worst. THEY are scum. THEY are the ones who pose a serious threat to this country and our way of life. The left, are cunts of the highest magnitude.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Smart Meters

(riiiiing)

Cuntish Gas Supplier: Hello, I’m phoning to arrange a time when we can fit the new Smart Meter.

Captain M: Wow. Has it been a whole year since you called?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: Well I ‘ave tried 23 times this week.

Captain M: As I tell you every year, I don’t want a Smart Meter.

Cuntish Gas Supplier: I’m just phoning to arrange a time-

Captain M: Why are you so obsessed! I don’t want to be hacked or for it to go on fire after being badly installed.

Cuntish Gas Supplier: That hasn’t happened for days.

Captain M: And will it be more difficult to switch gas/electricity suppliers?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: No, no, no. Not at all, mate. Definitely not. All false. Hearsay and lies.

Captain M: Really?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: Alright it’ll be a nightmare. But it’ll bring an end to them estimated bills!

Captain M: Oh?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: No, not really. Not at all, in fact.

Captain M: Great, speak to you next year.

Cuntish Gas Supplier: There is loads of evidence that Smart Meters will save you money AND energy!

Captain M: (sigh)

Cuntish Gas Supplier: Naa, that’s a lie too. No evidence at all.

Captain M: I’ve even heard they’re difficult to understand. Like listening to an argument between Ian “Lan-daaan” Wright and Roy “King Pikey” Keane?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: They’re not AS difficult as that, but…

Captain M: As I ask you every year, can you give me one genuinely good reason to install a smart meter?

Cuntish Gas Supplier: Yeah! They were first championed by Ed Milliband….

…Hello…? Captain M…?

…Hello…?

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Smart meters are supposed to mean an end to estimated bills and to enable you to save energy.

First I use what I need to use so how the fuckity fuck does it save me money on my lecky bill? Secondly they run on electricity so it actually costs me more not less.

Finally, I don’t give a flying fuck about estimated bills because I pay by monthly direct debit so unless they are going to charge me in arrears based on actual usage rather than in advance for an agreed amount, I really couldn’t care less if they estimate the bill.

And given that they rack up a huge payment in advance every summer, they’re not going to change their billing system are they? They’re a con and a fucking great big waste of time, but the snowflakes love ’em ‘cos they look cool on your Twatphone.

Nominated by Pedantic Cunt