Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Spotify

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Spotify need cunting for the appalling way it is treating it’s minor artists.

I have 14 albums on Spotify and they pay me royalties every time a track is streamed. They don’t pay a fortune but it keeps me in beer money and it’s a nice little earner. That is when they actually pay me.

Seems that Spotify have been avoiding paying the big boys – people like Neil Young – who make a fortune from their music. Recently Spotify were ordered to pay out £83.5 million to songwriters who they weren’t paying properly. Music publisher Wixen has also issued a suit for $1.6 billion for what it describes as ‘willful infringement’ of copyright. Two other parties are also suing Spotify. Read all about it here.

So how does this effect me? Well, Spotify pay royalties around 2 months in arrears which, to be fair, is quicker than most of the other music streaming services. But then they get sued and incur fines, settlements and big legal bills. When this happens, they adjust their cash flow by not paying out on time. So I received fuck all last month. It’s happened before and I expect I will get paid. Eventually.

So because the little guys like me get screwed so that rich music stars can make even more money, I say Spotify is a cunt.

Nominated by ChasCMusic

Magid Magid

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Lord Mayor Magid Magid.

No that’s not a euphemism. That’s the actual cunting title and name of the big boss cunt in charge of Sheffield these days.

There’s various things wrong with this cunt that could be discussed. Such as the Metro branding him ‘Britains coolest mayor’. The fact he’s only 28.. like how the bloody hell is that even possible, what possible experience could this trendy tryhard possibly have!? The fact he was so dignified and truely British that he swore and spoke like the reject that he clearly is during his mayor inaugural speech. Or the fact he referred to Trumps Muslim ban as ‘racist’. Which brings me to the main thrust of this particular cuntflap, before I get too side tracked and vapourize my own piss,

The Lawd of Sheffield, innit’, has decreed that Trump is banned from visiting the city when he comes over here to visit.

He also has a degree in Marine Biology. A great use of our taxes he has been and inevitably will be.

Nominated by The Big Chunky Cunty

Gary Lineker (10)

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Gary Lineker deserves yet another cunting. Once again, this jug eared fucktard has expressed his disdain for democracy and the will of the majority by announcing his support for the ‘People’s Vote Summer of Action’ to avoid a no deal scenario, which according to Lineker, will have ‘terrible consequences’ for the UK. Also, Lineker reckons that the mess our politicians have made of Brexit is entirely because of us, the people, giving them the ‘problem’ of Brexit, by voting to leave the EU. Damn us pesky plebs.

No, Gary, WE are not responsible for the fuck up that parliament has made of Brexit. THEY are responsible for it. As with all the other EU loving traitors, like you, the vast majority of MP’s have blatantly refused to abide by the democratically expressed will of the majority. It’s been just over two years since the referendum, and we are no closer to leaving that wretched disorganisation than we were the day after the vote. That is entirely down to parliament. They were given clear instructions by the majority to carry out a complete and total withdrawal from the EU. Instead of doing that, they have spent 25 months arguing over what THEY think Brexit should be.

If people disagree with us leaving the EU, I have no problem with that. This is, supposedly, a free country, and they have every right to express their opposition. Cunts like Lineker though, think they also have the right to try to go against the will of the people, they are wrong. In my view, Lineker and all the other Brexit saboteurs are traitors. Plain and simple. And as said before, if they the love the EU so much, they should fuck off to an EU member state and leave those of us who love this country to get on with making it great again.

Gary Lineker, you overpaid, undereducated, jug eared cretin, you are a cunt!

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

It is hard to imagine that Gary Lineker could out cunt his already colossal cunishness but whether it is his DNA or lack of brain cells dear old Gary has managed to ramp up his cunt level yet again by giving his name to the campaign for another EU referendum. Our deeply philosophical and astute politically mined ex-footballer has declared to the nation ‘Brexit feels like it is “going very wrong indeed’ he quickly followed this rhetoric with the statement
‘I am not a politician but I know when something is going wrong and right now Brexit feels like it is going very wrong indeed.’

Well, you may not be a politician but that has not stopped you acting like a right cunt on all things Political. My advice is just to keep talking shit about football and keep out of the public eye with you inane comments because Gary all you are doing is proving to a nation what a truly mega cunt you are.

Nominated by iamnot

Michelle Wolf

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Double cunting for Netflix and Michelle Wolf. Michelle Wolf is a ‘comedian’ who has a show on Netflix called The Break with Michelle Wolf, and what does one of the more recent (at the time of writing) segments involve? The celebration and advocation of abortion. That’s right – not just a pro choice argument for abortion – for which, despite not really being pro choice myself, there are legitimate arguments regarding personal liberty – but AN ACTUAL CELEBRATION OF ABORTION and all the negative mental issues that come with it. Here’s the video – fair warning, I’ve never been so repulsed by something in my entire life.

Meaning that not only is Michelle Wolf a cunt for saying that abortion should be celebrated instead of being mourned as an occasionally necessary evil, but Netflix are also fucking cunts for signing off on and therefore endorsing such repugnant views. Whilst they do have the right as a private company to promote such things the fact that have shows how morally repugnant their company politics are.

Fuck off Michelle Wolf and fuck off Netflix, you sociopathic cunts.

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt

Richard Ayoade

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I must CUNT, most severely (possibly not for the first time):

The shit-brown man in the shit-brown suit

From the current HSBC ad. They are all grim viewing (Bank of Mum & Dad, bank of Mum & Mum, bank of Dad & Dad, bank of grandfather & goat, and often with an anti-Brexit, global village pervery about them), but the current one is just nauseating.

He looks like a horrible caricature, brought to life. Am surprised we don’t see him riding a camel.

Nominated by HBelindaHubbard

I cunted that HSBC advert with him, the one that desperately tried to cram in global gadgets and had the tagline “We’re all in this together.” It was blatantly anti-Brexit and slurped at the shitty teet of the odious EU, but now can’t find it (!?).

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous