A driver who wears earphones is a cunt.

Piloting your vehicle on the overcrowded UK roads is treacherous enough without having to endure these fucking gormless cunts you see with the white leads emerging from their lugholes.

My view is that you need all your senses working fully to safely pilot a car. The danger of listening to Justin Bieber, Stormzy or Little Mix or whatever shit through headphones is that these cunts become immersed in it and then forget they are driving.

A bit like the hipster twat who almost didn’t stop on the roundabout in front of me this morning as he was listening to, no doubt, Ed Cuntwallah Sheeran on his gay headphones. Cunt received the death look from me as he gave me an apologetic simper.

This cunting goes for cyclists too who have the same habit. They fully deserve to be turned into compote beneath the wheels of a 40 tonne cement lorry.

Cunts!

Nominated by Paul Maskinback

First, let me lay my cards on the table regarding David Bowie: loved the cunt. He was a massive part of my life when I was growing up , covered the walls of my bedroom with his posters, listened to his music constantly and still think we will never see his like again. I was a bit sad when he died, but I didn’t know the cunt personally and his best years were behind him, so just reflected for a few minutes and got on with my life. I’m not fucking Jeremy Vine.

I’m sure we all have someone we got into when we were at “that age” and have loved them and related to them in our own way. What disgusts me are the know-it-all cunts who think they are the authority on someone like Bowie and their interpretation is so much more valid than everyone else’s. Which brings us on to those wankers at some jumped up college in Leeds who are offering a course on Bowie! The fucking cheek!

I feel physically sick at the thought of a bunch of work-dodging, Millenial pricks being taught why and how they should appreciate David Bowie by an overpaid, balding arsehole with an inflated sense of their own importance. I sincerely hope that no taxpayer’s money is going anywhere near this vanity project.

On the positive side though, I’m sure the qualification you get at the end of the course will serve the students well when they begin their zero-hours careers at McDonalds at the end of it. Ziggy fried some chips…

Nominated by Shite & Onions

Rachel Riley is a cunt…
This dizzy bitch had this to say today:

‘Huge day for all the little girls who dream of growing up to play for Manchester United. Good luck on your first league game today Man Utd Women, we’re all behind you!!! ‘

“We’re all” are we? We are fucking well not! We’re into ridding the club of the mass of utter cunts that now run the place… The same cunts that have brought this PC shite onto a majority that didn’t want it in the first place… So fuck off, Riley you nu-footie post-premiership gloryhunttng cockmunching clueless cunt… And what part of Manchester and Salford are you from anyway, you daft slag?! Rochford, Essex? Do fuck off!

Nominated by Norman

Yes i’m talking about YOU! Cunts who wear sunglasses ( or any other glasses ) on the top of their heads. There are variations of course…..hanging out of the shirt pocket, on top of the baseball cap, even reversed on the back of the neck. What the fuck are you doing? Do you think it makes you look cool? No, it makes you look like a wanker who is trying so hard not to look like a wanker.

If you don’t want to wear them put them in the case and put the fucking case in your bag. Don’t tell me you haven’t got a bag because all women carry a bag. If you are a bloke and you wear glasses on your head you obviously carry a manbag so stick them in there Nancy. I’m sure you can fit them in alongside your manpurse you tosser.

I don’t know why this buffoonery winds me up so much but it fucking does. That’s it.

Nominated by Freddie the Frog