I would like to cunt India.

Fed up of hearing and reading how its gonna “overtake the West” with cutting edge IT and massively successful industry.

Utter bollocks. Won’t happen.

This is the same place that still relies on 70 year old ex-British Empire railway infrastructure ; suffers power cuts most summers because too many fuckers are illegally tapping it or have bought aircon units so the power network can’t cope.

Today there’s news of 300 odd drowned in the annual (and thus entirely predictable) monsoons (which is really 500 cos they don’t really give enough of a shit to count the bodies properly). Buildings and bridges fall down with monotonous regularity in a way the Italians would envy!

Hilarious when Guy Martin once visited that truck stop where these 10 Rupees a day old biddies were cutting up trucks to cannibalise and put back on the roads-bald tyres and all- perfectly legally !! Looming over them was this huge mountain of unprocessed, steaming pile of shit!!!

I went there 25yrs ago and said to the missus that it would still be the same shitheap in Year 2100 and I know I was being generous.

99% of the population scrape by hand to mouth ; 1% live the life of Riley on the back of it. Open sewers everywhere; rubble; litter; heat; flies; begging; poverty. The Ganges is a polluted dead river, a blot on the landscape.

Yes, India is a venerable cunt sized, world class dump.

Nominated by Isaac Hunt

Earlier on today I was enjoying some time in my garden, and thought I’d take a look to see how my late cropping strawberries were doing. Flicking among the leaves, I came across four or five of these stripey little pests busily hollowing out the fruit. Before I could bat an eyelid, there were not one but two sharp stabs on my forearm and I got well and truly stung off the little bastards, who promptly beat it before I could even think about gaining revenge.

Now I appreciate that the more ecologically minded might consider that wasps get a bit of an unfair press. They’re part of the food chain (yes, believe it or not, some animals actually eat them), and they help in the important process of pollination. Up until now, it’s fair to say that I’ve been neutral as far as my views on the subject are concerned, but that was before I had two throbbing lumps on my arm the size of golf balls to contend with (think I might have an allergy).

No doubt about it; they’ll ruin your picnic, ruin your barbeque, ruin your fruit crop, and scare your grandkids if they get the chance, and that’s before they turn vicious. To add insult to injury I’m sitting here in my garden chair trying to console myself, and one of the wee fuckers has just nosedived into my glass of wine. As far as I’m concerned, wasps serve one purpose and one purpose only, and that’s to be a total fucking nuisance.

I’m off now to roll up yesterday’s newspaper and tape up the ends. Retribution is coming, and the cunts have proper asked for it.

Nominated by Ron Knee

It is with a mixture of utter fucking rage and heavy heart that I cunt Last Night of the Proms after last night’s debacle.

I’ve attended the Last Night five times, and the preceding classical concerts in the Proms season on countless occasions. My first LNotP was in 2005 and was a snap decision to attend after a meal with a coulle of friends. We went there, dressed like fucking tramps, standing in the upper circle and barely able to see anything. But I fucking loved it.

Yes it is predictable. Yes it is silly. Yes it is a caricature. Yes many of attending are cunts. But it’s fun. It’s a second-half bit of overblown, harmless singalong patriotism, and most patrons leave the Royal Albert Hall afterward feeling a wee bit more proud to be British.

This year however saw the continued takeover of the quisling scumcunt. Proudly pushed by the Eurocentric BB cuntfucking C, a huge throng of protesting cunts sporting EU flags and berets stole the fucking show.

It didn’t surprise me and the anger, oddly enough isn’t completely to do with the lovers of the fucking EU. No, I am pissed off because this is yet another bit of harmless British tradition which has been infested with the inoperable cancer of left-wing politicking and posturing. Ruined by an utterly knifeable array of shameless fucking cunts, it is yet another hi g consigned to history now thanks to the undoubtedly irreversible platform for pro-EU protest.

It matters not that these EU flag-bearers are so fucking ignorant that they happily presided over the lyrics Rule Britiannia, all the while gleefully accepting their status indeed as slaves to the most undemocratic of shit unions.

These fucking absolute shitcunts deserve the most insidious of fucking ends, each and every one of them.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Never thought in a million years that it would come to this but the last night of the proms is a cunt.
I’m a patriotic cunt like the rest of you here I suspect. So when I turn on the tv to watch the wonderful tribute to British nationalism with expectant pride rising in my heart what the fuck is the first thing I see?

A sea of cunting Euro flags waved by even bigger cunts wearing fucking Eddie Izzard Euro berets.

The absolute CUNTS. Every last one of them!

Nominated by Cuntsville

I would like to cunt the person who supplied the flags at the last night of the proms shown on the BBC

Watching it was like a fucking rally for the EU more fucking flags for the EU than our own Union Jack this is a British event why fucking ruin it by waving a fucking EU flag? most of you there looked like cunts ,so why wave a EU arsewipe flag apart from the fact that you’re all cunts and prove it beyond all reasonable doubt by waving a EU flag

This event is a part of Britain’s history

Have just read some posts on twatter and shit on my face book, that Land of Hope and Glory and Jerusalem should be banned from the last night of the proms because they are racist. WTF are they on? Cunts the lot of them!

Nominated by Mr R Sole

After watching the Last Shite of the Proms, I must have been psychic when I wrote this back in my punk period (not one of my best and yes, it is embarrassing in hindsight) :

Rule Britannia

Nominated by Chas C

Sad gits wearing hopeless wigs need to be outed immediately. Speaking as one whose own thatch is sadly dwindling with the passage of the years, I can say that I’d rather end up with a ‘Jean-Luc Picard’ any day than walk around with something resembling a dead hamster perched on my bonce. A word to the wise, boys; you’re fooling nobody but yourselves, you deluded cocks.

Nominated by Ron Knee