Larst time anything so slimy, boneless and mollusc like crorsed me palm like that it was a sincere handclasp from a Tory minister – Cecil Parkinson, Michael Howard and most recently the perspiring lardy pinkies orf David Cameron. I shudder at the recollection. Time was when our currency said all that was needed aboit the nation. In me day we had lovely large white fivers which said “I am two weeks wages to you, cunt. You’ll never own me.” Large heavy coppers with the heads orf the Monarch minted to last. A pocket full might have Victoria with a bun (the bun penny), old cow Vicky, Edwards, Georges, Elizabeth. Proper British currency pre EU. Her/His Brittanic Majesty orn the notes. Currency orf The Realm. Our pride and the envy orf johnnie foreigner.
We have just fucked orf oit orf the EU shower so why chose now to introduce notes that look like half price vouchers for Euro Disney?
Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke
Was going to cunt the new plastic fivers meself, but realised that it’s not the notes that need cunting but the cunts who collect the cunts!
Seems that if you’ve got one of the first notes starting with AA01 serial numbers and have a few with consecutive numbers, some daft cunts will pay loads of dosh for them! Fuck me with a broomstick! Some daft bugger paid £460 on eBay last week for three £5 notes.
Nearly as fucking stupid as £800 for an iPhone7 or £300 for an Apple iWatch. Nearly.
But not quite.
Fucking hell – some silly bastard will vote for Jeremy Corbyn next! Oh, fuck! They did!
Clearly I’m missing something…
Nominated by: Dioclese
