Modern Etiquette

‘Love you’ Admin.

If she says it again. It’s a girl 3 seats away from me on the bus. She says ‘love you’ after each of her phone calls. The last one ‘see you at yours…Love you’. Ffs. You’re going to see this ‘loved one’ soon.

I find it so cringeworthy.-people signing off their calls with a ‘love you’. Does it matter? I suppose not but it makes me uncomfortable when I hear it.

I mean doesn’t the constant use of it diminish it? I thought you were supposed to say ‘I love’ you on special occasions because you are expressing your most profound feeling for someone. So maybe at the climax of love-making you would say it. Or at a loved-one’s deathbed. Or a tearful goodbye at the railway station.

But not on a short bus ride when you’re going to see the person in a few minutes.
While we’re on the buses what is it with all this thanking the bus driver when we get off?

Each person as they get off ”Thank You’. ‘Thank you ‘Thank you’ ‘Thank you’. If I was the bus driver at the start of the journey I would make it clear ‘You do not have to thank me’.

You never thanked the bus driver when I was growing up in the 70s.

There is a kind of false politeness abroad.

I was interacting with what you would call a ‘soy boy’. Full of over the top apologies when he couldn’t find a book in the library. He even said ‘My bad’. Stop fucking apologising.

But that was good a grumpy old man in the local shop the other day. A young man simply walked passed but said ‘sorry’ to him. The old guy-‘what are you apologising for…you haven’t done anything to me’.

Can you be too polite?

Back to Love. I have male friends who text me and put an x at the end of it. For fuck’s sake. Don’t do that.

Yes we’ve all gone incredibly polite and loving.

I see I have lost a little focus here. Sorry Admin. Thank you so much for reading my Nom. (Feck off, you soft cunt. Love you forever – Day Admin xx)

Nominated by: Miles Plastic

The Modern English Medical Centre

The modern English medical centre. What a bunch of cunts.

An elderly relative of mine tried to order a repeat prescription by phone (as is now standard procedure during Covid). But the cunt of a receptionist simply told him ‘You’ll have to wait until next week as we are updating our computer systems’.

Then adding ‘If you really need then, you can call 111’. He was told he had to re-order seven days in advance. So he does, but then they tell him he can’t. And he was not told in advance about this delay.

Said relative is nearly 80 and is on about ten different pills. One is a very powerful blood pressure pill that he can’t go without. He is certainly in no shape to recite every item he is prescribed to some phone monkey on 111.

Basically his local GP and medical practice has failed him and many others just because their computers are down and they can’t be arsed to do it manually like they did before computers became commonplace.

Fucking useless incompetent slack cunts.

Nominated by: Norman

 

Dead Pool [224]


Congratulations to yours truly (Shaun) who correctly predicted that Former Northern Ireland and Housing secretary James Brokenshire would be the next dead dude.The Tory MP was just 53 and died yesterday from lung cancer despite never having smoked.

On to Dead Pool 224

The rules

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will be next to conk out.No duplicates.Its first come first serve so you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s picks (Like Black and White cunt frequently does)

2)Anyone who picks the World’s oldest man or woman is a cunt who we will ignore.

3) It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

4)You cannot change picks mid pool unless someone has already nabbed your pick.

5)Please check your picks haven’t already been taken as we can’t be arsed to check.

Cunts wearing Hoodies


Cunts in hoodies, why is it whoever puts on a hoodie instantly looks like thieving cunt, no mater who they are they look like utter cunts and usually the are.

Today had one walk across the road in front of me, didnt see the car hoodie on, didnt hear the car, headphones in and the prick was glues to his phone.

Day before some cunt hoodie on, riding towards us on an electric scooter, im thinking this is on dash cam, so fuck him.

Then whenever your behind a car and all you can smell is weed, usually being driven by some wanker and you guessed correctly with a hoodie on.

Then you have the spotty yoof with hoodie, staffy with a studded collar on, usually called Tyson or something equally cuntish.

Then the ultimate, usually one of out Asian cousins, hoodie on, in the little Audi thats really a golf, blacked out glass, fucking lowered to much, wheels at an angle so the car handles like a tesco trolley on ice, exhuast wider than the chunnel music blaring, smell of pot, or e cig billowing out the window like fucking Piper Alfa, body kit stuck on with no more nails and has to virtually stop to straddle every speed bump,driving the peice of shit virtually lying down so he has to look thrigh the side window from under his arm, you know the cool as fuck Stephen Hawking position and meaning your stuck behind this fuck monkey until he gets pulled by the police.

Bet the first thing that comes out of the cunts mouth is , why are you picking on me, why are you not out catching real criminals, this is the 30th time in 2 weeks, you raaaacist you are…no thats not crack in little bags in the glove box, yes my name really is Walt Disney, just look at my driving licence, sorry ran out of cyan while i was printing it…..

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

HMP Isle of Wight goes Gender Pronoun

HMP Isle of Wight, formerly known as Parkhurst.

The dumb cunts who run this place are distributing pronoun badges to inmates as part of a ‘gender identity inclusion drive’.

This is in preparation for ‘National Inclusion Week’ (which is happening now, 27 Sep – 3 Oct, in case you were bothered).

There are six purple badges with pronouns including ‘he/they’, ‘her/they’, ‘she/her’ and ‘they/them’.

The badges also include a mix of non-binary options and one that reads: ‘Ask me!’

I’m sure a prisoner will want to know someone’s preferred pronoun before jamming a shiv in his eardrum.

News Link

Nominated by: mystic maven