If I’d made this story up I would be accused a) of being racist and b) of being too far fetched in my naming of the lead villain.

You see, Boota Ram was the mastermind and chief instigator of an £8 million scam which involved he and his mates slamming on their brakes so hard and suddenly that it caused innocent motorists to smash into the back of their cars. Yes, they were ramming the boot of poor old Boota Ram in a crash for cash scheme.

Then of course he would put in multiple claims for damage to his vehicles and for whiplash injuries. They did this on an industrial scale to such an extent that it roused the attention of the insurance companies legal teams and the police. When they raided his home he denied that the laptop which contained all the information regarding the crimes was his. However, they discovered the password was “Boota Ram” and that the laptop held a picture of him using it!

He was also captured on film at several of the incidents, his mean snarling face staring into the camera.

They arrested his cohort but he has gone on the run.

Anyone seen Boota Ram? Watch out, you could crash into the cunt soon.

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Nominated by: Sir Greeb Streebling

Walking Wartime Britain

I have nothing against the presenter Arthur Williams.
A Para Olympian who served in the Royal Marines.

He ended up in a wheelchair after a car accident.

But his programme Walking Wartime Britain is typical Channel 4 woke shit.

At best in should be renamed ‘Wheeling Around Wartime Britain (The flat bits)’.

Channel 4 chose Arthur for no other reason other than he is disabled.

Everyone should know their limitations, and although Arthur may be a nice bloke that you could have a few pints with, and he may have some good stories about his past, he is a boring cunt and TV presenting does not suit him.

Fuck you (again) Channel 4.
A good idea for a documentary series fucked up with your wokery.

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

I would like to nominate for a very deserved cunting for the spasticated salt scattering ponce that is salt bae,

This strange weirdo fuck monkey makes Gordo Ramsey look alot less of a cunt, it must be really strange having this performing chimp next to your table, sawing up your gold plated steak, doing his spazzo salting and the charging you a fucking fortune for the strangest experience of your life.

I was lying in the bath, so didn’t skip this video when it came on, but watching this fucking bell end for 3 minutes ts made me realise, he has beaten all the other cunts I’ve seen this week, by a mile.

Don’t get me wrong, there isn’t many things in life that are better than a nice medium cooked rib eye, but having this nutter next to the table would have me putting the ribeye in my pocket and leaving.

All I can say is what a loon this mother fucker really is, there’s hope for gobshite Gordo, a shit for brains Jaimie Oliver, they both look normal compared to this wanker, see the link and make up your own minds……

Uncle Roger is going to get years of material out of this arse clown…

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Nominated by: Fuglyucker

Don’t cause offence. What a fucking Cunt. Just read that Newcastle supporters have been asked not to dress in a Middle Eastern / Arabic way so as not to cause an offence.

Fuck off it’s good to cause offence, it’s thought provoking. I like people that offend me. It makes me think “ have I been a Cunt?”

I am so fucking pig sick of this bollocks. Grow up. Cause offence my arse grow a pair you sack less pussies.

To elaborate further, the media and chat shows constantly carp on about how we should not offend any one.

I say fuck off. If someone says something offensive to me it makes me think “ have I been a bit of a Cunt? “

And sometimes I have therefore I change for the better.

The notion that being offensive is suddenly the worst thing in the world; it isn’t take a look out there; is ridiculous. Killing certain religious cults disease etc far outweigh such nonsense.

Yet being offended is peddled out as being so so bad. Example the fucking clots at nufc and the media for making it a story.

Being offended by the smallest way is a Cunt.

Nominated by: Everyonesacunt

Helpful link supplied by Ron Knee

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