Whatever happened to the good Samaritan?
A dying breed.

I trust my fellow ISACs would help someone in trouble?
The weak, the vulnerable, the timid?

I was sat in the van in a supermarket carpark t’other day and a little elderly black lady carrying two big bag of shopping came out.
The bags were probably heavier than she was.

Anyway,
She slipped on a kerb directly facing me,
Landed hard, fuckin shopping everywhere!!
She was clearly in some pain,
Probably needed a ambulance.

Do you know not one passerby helped her?!

I was sat watching for about 15 minutes and no one lifted a finger.

It was chucking it down with rain when I left and she was still there!
I had to swerve round her.

Wheres all the Knights in shining armour gone?
The’ lean on me’ types.
Its a sad world we live in.

Nominated by: Miserable Northern cunt

You SHALL have a healthy diet!

WHO are at it again, knowing what’s best for us. Because we are too pigshit thick to realise, after years and fucking years of media, etc crowing on about it, that eating Big Macs several times a day isn’t healthy.

Guardian News Link

And because of this, because 20+ years of healthy eating education isn’t enough, we now have pending legislation to stop bogof, buy two, third free, etc, etc.

Why the fuck do these people interfere with our right to make a choice, and don’t give me that time worn argument about the strain on the NHS.

Spend the money on the NHS, instead of supporting and promoting this shite.

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

“Wot! You don’t want a nice African vacation?”

I want to nominate Priti Patel as a cunt for her idea of sending our very brave dingy riding asylum seekers to Rwanda whilst they get their claims processed.

I think its racist for starters. Im a white UK citizen and to be fair I wouldn’t mind a free government trip abroad with free flights and digs, Rwanda although a bit of a corrupt country, is supposed to be beautiful and you must be guaranteed a lovely nice tan. If there’s a free bar at the this new Rwandan processing centre then Im all in.

You’ll please excuse me now please, while I put on some gravy browning, buy a cheap dingy and float around the Devon coast for a bit hoping to get caught very soon by the UK Border Force. I think it may take a few days though as they appear to be a bit thin on the ground as they are on the water. I’ll swallow my passport and regurgitate when I get fed up and want to come home.

I’m very excited that I will be probably making a lot of olive skinned friends. I think its a marvellous idea to pretend to be an illegal asylum seeker with the UK cost of living rise at the moment. What could better than a bit of Rwandan fun in the Sun!!

Happy holidays to you all, I’ll send you all a postcard xx

Nominated by: Baldieboyz

The Cunt Cut

“If it looks like a cunt and it smells like a cunt then by golly it must be ……….”
(Old cuntsman’s proverb.)

An era can be be defined in many ways but for the social historian there can be none better than by The Hairstyle. In no particular order: Flapper’s Bob, The Adolf, Crew Cut, Beatle Cut, Afro, Perm, Duck’s Arse, En Brosse, Mullet……. Just say the name and you know where you are and if you had one you most likely are a cunt.

After the ‘20s, ‘30s jump to ‘50s, ‘60s, ‘70s, ‘80s and on but unfortunately hit the 2020s are you are not so much in an era, more in an old wank stain. A crimper’s creation for our times?

I give you the Cunt Cut. The latest style phenomenon being trialled in a certain swanky London salon, the name and location of which is strictly embargoed. Paddle his arse for a fortnight but this old queen’s lips are so totally sealed. In the meantime feed your ravenous style buds with that oh so ironic hair line cut on the bias to fake that oh so mischievous Bully Beef look. And we do so love fake do we not my dahlings?

You know me my dreamboats – If you got it then flaunt it I say. That piggy pink neck with a frisson of freckles? Be bold and show it. That dusting of acne with highly infectious impetigo scars? Chin up and give it to the world.

Bully Beef flaunting it:
Bully Beef Cut

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke