Twitter and it’s true value.

”Victoria Coren issues Only Connect apology after show slammed for ‘shameful’ segment”

It seems that there was a tweet:-

”After the programme, Changing Faces tweeted: “We were disappointed and shocked to see scars described as marks of shame on your show recently. There is #NoShame in having a scar.”

It seems that some obscure cunt regards an everyday use of the word ‘scar’ as itself shameful. A grovelling apology was naturally rushed out.
An apology which seems to disregard the fact that this was an acceptable interpretation of the word.

So the true value of twatter is to deny facts and definitions in case some needy, nerdy twat, scouring the twattersphere gets offended. Aint social media grand?

MSN News Link

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Not too far from me is a water treatment centre, which is obviously fenced off and secure from nosy trespassers. Fair enough.

However, I also noticed on the front gate the usual warning signs about keeping out, trespassers will be executed etc. But then there a whole load more additions, including, “Confined Space: may cause distress”, “Danger: beware of trucks”, “Danger: beware uneven surfaces”, “Caution: Trip Hazard”, “Danger: excavations in progress”, “Warning: noise may cause distress” … and on and on it went to the point where I counted 15 notices on one big notice board!

But to cap it all there was a smaller warning notice at the foot of this big sign saying “Warning: this sign has sharp edges”

I suppose I can understand the logic of all these warnings in order to protect the company from litigation, even though sometimes not even these notices will deter trespassers from suing if they ended up injured.

Years ago I was dumb-founded by the classic “Caution: Hot Water” sign affixed near to a hot water tap in a hotel room I was staying at. There was a similar sign by the kettle. And again it bemused me why all this was so necessary given that surely most people must have an ounce of common sense about them.

But clearly not it would seem.

I recall a time back in my youth and laughing at the road sign showing a bloke trying to open an umbrella; or the one with a bloke trying to abduct a child, or another sign with a massive exclamation mark at the centre. I thought we were about to be hit by a hoard of exclamation marks such was my naive mind at the time

But these days it seems anything and everything has some kind of warning sign attached to it. Even a bag of frozen peas probably has a warning to say its not suitable for someone or other.

It’s a sign of the times I guess (see what I did there!)

Nominated by: Technocunt

and seconded by: Geordie Twatt

‘Sign not in use’
‘Caution: Water on road during rain’
‘Speed limit for safety reasons’
All genuine.
I remember a comedy sketch once (possibly on ‘The Two Ronnies’) with a sign reading ‘Do not throw stones at this sign’.

Excellent nomination, hereby seconded.

Joshua Heath, a junior research fellow, reckons that Jesus could’ve been transgender. A 14th century painting depicting a stab wound in Christ’s side “takes on a decidedly vaginal appearance”. This view is supported by the dean of Trinity College, Cambridge University.

Is he claiming that the millions of people throughout the course of human history who’ve died from violent stab injuries were all transgender too? What a prize and deluded cunt.

You really couldn’t make up this shit. I fucking well despair at the madness permeating this once-great country.

Andrew Lawrence explains with far more humour and passion than I could ever muster:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSNL0XsnPL4

Telegraph Link.

Big News Network Link.
Post Millennial Link.
(Additional links provided by our Religious Scholar, Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by : Cunty McCunt

I finally got round to watching the 90 minute or so ‘interview’ between Piers Morgan and Cristiano Ronaldo.

What a pile of cunt.

Right. Here goes.

First up, Ronaldo was right in saying that United is run by cunts (the Glazers). He was also right cunting Gary Neville and Wayne Rooney.

But fuck me. What a precious Prima Donna cunt he came across as. At the age of 37, he can’t start demanding to be treated differently. Let’s face it.

He’s one of the greatest players ever. But he’s nothing spesh now. Bang average in terms of world class levels. To be expected, he’s knocking 40.

But he was at one of the world’s biggest clubs, Man Utd. He can’t start demanding this and that and refuse to be a sub. Refusing to come on?

That’s a cunt, right there.

But I digress

Morgan was the bigger cunt. His interview was the most sycophantic things I’ve ever heard.

The whole fiasco could’ve been reduced from 90 or so minutes to less than half a minute.

Ronaldo: Do you know who I am? (Repeat loudly throughout)

Morgan: Oh Ronnie honey, (slurp) you’re the best ever. Oh your member tastes so good (slurp).

Interview?

Fucking blow job, more like.

Sporting News

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

A cunting for people who think they have a right to a parking space outside their house on a terraced road.

I regularly have people park outside my house living near to a shop and having multiple car owning neighbours, inconvenient-yes , however I have never risen to the ultimate level of cunt where I would challenge a person or leave notes etc because someone is exercising their rights as a tax paying road user.

What boils my piss is the righteous indignation of a neighbour 50 yards down, in front of whose house I parked the other day. Despite their car being parked, so my actions were not depriving them of their cherished road space AND me considerately leaving 6 feet in front of their ludicrous vehicle for egress, the stupid cunt suggested I park on double yellows or in front of anyone else’s house as long as his wife and kids can get their car out. if you are aware that the car is that of a fellow resident then you know they are parking there because they actually do have someone taking the space where they would park normally,

being happy to suggest that I inconvenience another resident by parking elsewhere as long as it isn’t affecting you personally, is not something worthy of “respect” which was what this utter cunt was suggesting I wasn’t giving him enough of, so instead he receives a cunting

It goes without saying I would move for anyone who politely asks and for a good reason (disabled etc) But not for some benefit scrounging drug dealer who’s misses can’t get her giant white Range Rover out of a 30ft space

Nominated by: Jimmy Cuntliffe