Smelly Cunts

People who don’t wash, shower, use deodorant or have breath like something died in their gobs, are cunts.

I am aware some may have a medical issue, which may be the reason, but most of the time I don’t believe this to be the case.

There is one group in particular who seem to stink of BO and have bad breath, but I won’t name them here. I’ll let you cunts do that.

I remember one lady (honky, overweight and in her 40s as a guess) who would go in the local shop and she stank of arse cheese. It filled the room. Now she may have had some kind of medical issue, but I bet a good arse scrubbing and change of knickers would’ve worked wonders. Always wore the same clothes. Just a dirty bitch.

Bad breath cunts and all. Fuck them. Having some halitosis cunt talking to you and getting constant whiffs is out of order. I feel like knocking them out, but I’m a soft cunt so it’s all bollocksed.

I think people who stink without good reason (ill and just shat themselves etc) should be given Asbos.

In fact, fuck it. Lock the smelly cunts up until they learn to wash their arses and use Listerine.

Fuck off.


Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

62 thoughts on “Smelly Cunts

  1. The underlying stink of a pretty girl who’s tried to cover it over with fragrance of some sort, very disappointing.

    • This nom has just reminded me AnalEase Dodds is on Any Questions? this lunchtime at 1310 on Wireless 4 – alas, not in Smellovision.

  2. The modern tendency for HR managers to conduct job interviews online beats me. Then the new employee they’ve just hired turns up on their first day smelling like a council refuse tip with a breath that could knock out an elephant.
    In my experience HR managers became useless pricks the day they changed their name from ‘Personnel’.

  3. It’s not their fault. It’s the cost of living, the wicked tories,soap and toothpaste are racist.

    Maybe someone could find a way to bottle it and we can give it to the Ukrainians to gas the Russians.

    This country is being turned into a shit-hole might as well be authentic and smell like one.

    • Oddly, I first thought that the woman in the pic was the fragrant Angela Rayner. In which case “Smelly Cunts” seems highly appropriate.
      Anyone have Sylvia Sims in DP?

  4. As well as reeking of Hounds,horses and cigarettes,I have a delightful natural odour that has been compared to a “decomposing dead badger” and enjoy nothing more than standing in front of the fire in my local Pub enabling the dining holiday-makers and Incomers to get the full benefit of my manly scent.

    I’m highly suspicious of males who are doused in Poove-spray….a man should smell of hard work or carbolic soap.

      • I’ve still got a Brut Christmas present box…shampoo,gay-spray etc. with Kevin fucking Keegan on the box, it’s that old ….and still unopened.

        A dab of diesel behind the ears is sufficient to get most Tarts frothing when you’re already a natural-born sexual Bull-Elephant.


      • When you’re a sexual tyrannosaurus, you don’t need help, just a shitty stick to fight the birds off with.

        Morning, Dick.

    • I had a cousin who continually chewed on raw cloves of garlic, he fucking reeked.Someone had told him that they were good for your health…luckily they were wrong and he died young in a car crash..fat lot of good the garlic cloves did for him.

      • Certainly not…but he was “educated”…went to some” Uni” which was where he presumably picked up his louche behaviour….his “Egghead” didn’t survive exiting the car his the windscreen at 70mph.

        Too clever for his own good,as I always said…and was tempted to say at the funeral if I’d been invited.

      • So book smart then. Did he think seat belts where steeped in colonialism so he wouldn’t use one.

      • Too drunk to put a seat-belt on,Barry….we Fiddlers drive to an exceptionally high standard drunk or sober and I’m sure my cousin would have been just fine if that tree hadn’t maliciously jumped out in front of him.

      • It was I who advised your acquaintance to chew garlic. If you do that, I explained, no-one will come near enough to give you an infection. There is sadly no herbal remedy for a car crash.

      • At least the vampires didn’t get him. Although some are real lookers, like Monica Bellucci, so that might have been a loss…

  5. Word recognition in action. As soon as I saw the title I instantly thought of Diane Abbott and Anneliese Dodds!

    • I once went to a meeting and Shirley Williams was there. She not only had wifey armpits but sweat stains to accompany them.

  6. When I was teaching and the headteacher told me that ( for political correctness wtf ) showers 🚿 would have to be banned from being compulsory once section of the classes instantly cease and tried to mask their smelliness by using deodorant.

    Smelly dirty sods.

  7. I sometimes ponder if its the smell that is attracting the channel invaders, like the bisto kid there is a smell that makes them feel like it’s home..

    Naw it the free hotels and money.

  8. A lot of old folk stink of piss don’t they?

    Not sure why they like it,
    I’m not keen but they love it.

    I smell of freshly baked bread and lavender in bloom.
    My natural odour not perfume.

    It’s the goodness leaking out of my skin pores.

  9. has anyone ever complained about the stench from Dianne Abbotts love pouch? I bet it stinks of Jeremy corbyns old cum and fried chiggun bones, we don’t need to send Ukraine military weapons, just send them Dianne’s musty drawers, that would make the Russian military surrender

  10. I’ll wager that The Worcestershire Warrior and Jeffery ‘The Ruislip Rumbler’ smell of good, honest sweat, brought on by shadow boxing, behind the bike sheds, to the ‘Rocky’ theme tune and ‘Eye Of The Tiger’ and chanting “I won’t back down”, in glorious anticipation of someone turning up.

    But they never do.

    • I recall years ago I was in charge of a fleet of local delivery drivers. We had this guy apply who was a bit of a yokel. Grown man still living with mum, bald sweaty and overweight. Nice enough guy and really friendy particularly with customer who he sold fruit and veg to from his allotment in the back of our van whislt delivering.. But in the summer he fucking sweat like a stuck pig. Stank fucking awful. He was of the type who would have a bath once a week ‘and a strip wash’ in and deodorant was for puffs. He was totally unaware how bad he smelled. I started getting calls from customers complaining aboiut him, and other drivers wouldnt cover his route for him as it meant using his van which also stank. Eventually I called him in to my office. Tried being subtle but didnt register…in the end I told him he could actually use a dead rat as an air freshener in his van and he got the hint.

  11. I wonder what public transport in Londonistan smells like?


    Yes I’m certain it is.

    • I was on it las night and it stinks. Once again, I felt lime a foreigner in my own capital city.

    • Dirty socks and garlic. Well, that’s Kentish Town. If any of the bumder MPs in Westminster use them, probably smells of shit from their worn-out ringpieces.

  12. Went to a job, fat, old cunt who was a hoarder, fallen. Been on the floor for a couple of days. Normally used a bucket for a toilet, obviously couldn’t get to it so just went where he laid. House fucking reeked! The stench through the letterbox was like opening the gates of Hades. Had to get the fire brigade to gain entry. We just got a couple of masks out and smeared Vicks around the nose area – bitter experience, once bitten, etc – couldn’t smell a thing, fire brigade, whom we made carry him out, were heaving😆

    “Got a side room free, Sister”🤣🤣🤣

    • Hoarders are bad eh DCI?

      I’ve had the same thing.
      Hoarder who was shitting and spewing in carrier bags and just piled them up,
      Fermenting in a corner.

      I have a big tub of Vicks and it was when most were wearing face masks anyway.

      Still could smell it.

      Didn’t even go the chippy afterwards.
      And had to disinfect my van three days in a row with thick pine scented disinfectant.


      • Fucking rancid, Mis, rancid. Cardiac arrest, once, student asks what am I knelt in???

        “Don’t ask and don’t look, son”.

      • I expect we got them out of bed, W.C! After all, it was after 2000hrs🤣

        All joking aside, RIP the poor Scottish fireman killed, this week.

  13. My occasional sisters other half fucking stinks of bo, and refuses to use deod. He is about nine stone soaking wet scrawny know it all cunt.

  14. During my “eventful” life of 60 plus years I have on occasion had to experience the horror that is bo in a shared habitat. Socks that after catching and beating I hung on a chain link fence doused in lighter fluid then burnt to a sticky stinking mess, presented to the owner in plastic bag. Being shown a pubic louse in a matchbox (true) then proving the said creature was a pubic louse by telling the owner to pluck one of his short and curlies and place pube next to suspect louse. Louse immediately grabbed pube and hung on ipso facto the filthy cunt was running a crab ranch…underpants that were shot, shirts with the armpits cut out. The full spectrum of unhygienic cuntery.
    Now all of this fell by the wayside when I walked into the local supermarket three months ago. In front of me an oldish man, thing is he stank like a charnel house he stank really stank like multiple decomposing bodies, he must have lived inside a dead cow or something. A women he brushed past actually started retching. He fucking stank. That fucking smell, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, Readers I about turned and fucked off back to the car park with as much urgency as the walking stick and fucked legs would allow. Never saw the cunt since and do not want to, very odd

  15. I reckon there’s a few on here that sit in their own piss and shit all day with crumbs and phlegm all over the floor, monitor and keyboard.

  16. Most of the UK are smelly cunts.

    All ethnics pong.
    The homeless stink .
    Elderly whiff of urine.
    Fat cunts with B.O.

    In a minority if you don’t stink like a septic tank.

  17. I’m a little disappointed in the header picture, where are the ethnics and the transgenders..

    Hung your head in shame admin.

  18. A person cannot normally detect their own halitosis but the myth that they cannot smell their own bo is one peddled by the manufacturers of “deodorant”, a product for people who can’t spare the time for a shower. As for people who smoke using deodorant, now that’s comical.

  19. We had this french bloke working with us a few years back , He was the stereotypical Frog, stunk to high heaven of arse and BO. The manager had to have a word with him.
    (Where do you hide your money from a frenchman? Under a bar of soap. )
    We also had a french student that stuffed her used jam rags under the bed FFS.
    I don’t get smelly cunts. If i get the slightest whiff of bo i do something about it ASAP.

  20. Used to give a life to work one who smelt of rotting onions. He was built and looked like the hulk(not green), he could drink 20 pints, and was a real nice guy. Such is life, preferred him to sweet smelling shitheads.

    • They are the dirtiest cunts of all time. Get in the MRT here on Sunday morning it’s loaded with the evil smelling fuckers, off to Orchard Towers to fuck Filipino hookers. They must have no sense of smell, or taste!

  21. My natural odor is so rancid that I need regular hose downs with carbolic soap outside the coal shed.

    If I didn’t do it, I would be declared a biohazard and have a five mile exclusion zone around me.

    Actually sounds a decent idea to be honest. Keeps the cunts away.

    • When I was in the RN most of us showered with the old Lifebuoy carbolic soap. Towels always turned red. A nice fresh smell, though. I can only assume fat old tart Emily Thornberry has piss stains on her bloomers from the strain each time she has to hoist her arse off a chair. That fucking little toady Wes Streeting’s foreskin probably stinks of that horrible blue French cheese. And Bryants, too many wanks each day.

  22. Being a cunnilingus fiend, I prefer my women to smell natural. Where some ladies intend spraying their nether regions, its not long before the gush of natures goodness emerge to spray my face. I leave it to linger long after being alone. Once my nostrils breathe the night air, I’m still between my lovers thighs.

  23. Chinks stink. Used to go in the Casino in Sheffield which was full of then. A mixture of chip fat, BO and arse cleft. Always had £1000’s on them but not to go and buy some soap, deodorant and a new Wok. The reek could knock a fly off a bucket of dog shit at twenty paces.

  24. There is a P@k! cunt at the kidney unit, and he has the most corrosive thermonuclear B.O. He’s worse than a fucking skunk. You need a gas mask and a crucifix to go within a mile of the filthy turd. One nurse refuses point blank to go near him, and I don’t blame her. I would ban the bastard and let him croak. But that would be ‘racist’.

  25. When a was growing up there was a woman who lived close by who’s husband had died some years back and it sent her a bit mad.

    We affectionally called her ‘pink pants’ because when she went out that’s all she ever wore.

    Her house which was in a decent area seemed to us to be falling down, window frames and eves rotting and flaked, curtains always closed and she stank of piss and fish.

    Quite simply she was nuts.

    We were once in the local Post Office come general store and the smell was appalling. She stank the place out.

    So when we were around 10 or so we used to go and knock on her door and ask if she had any paper to recycle for the Spastics Society.

    One of our crew was brilliant at acting up and he’d stand there coming out with garbled shit pulling a spazzy face and moving side to side and rocking his head.

    We called him ‘Selwyn’ and the point was that we’d all take turns at getting as close to Pink Pants as possible and see how long we could stand the smell.

    I’m pissing myself writing and remembering this. I guess you had to be there but trust me the smell was puke inducing.

  26. In my youth I was lucky enough to cop off with the local dark key beauty… had it all in the right places….
    The booze was flowing and tunes were good… we went outside for a bit of slap and tickle, had a bit of polish the helmet and was about to return the favour, but the stench of shitty curry crabs was unbearable and has rendered me unable to go down on a woman since….

  27. My Grandfater used to fucking reek of rotting vegetables! Had to take the smelly fucker for a hospital appointment once and he managed to stink the place out. Fucking hell!!

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