Think of the great popular music performers of the twentieth century, and certain names immediately spring to mind. Astaire and Sinatra, Holiday and Garland, Dylan and The Beatles; those with a style and a sound that was all their own. And then of course there was the legendary Elvis, the king of rock ‘n’ roll, who captivated us with an incredible string of hits from ‘Heartbreak Hotel’ to ‘In the Ghetto’.

Sadly, that Elvis magic failed to translate itself to the big screen, with The Pelvis featuring in a string of 60s films which were for the most part trite, formulaic and just plain dull.

I was recently reminded of this when the wife returned from what she calls ‘a look around the charity shops’, with half a dozen Elvis films in VHS tape format, retrived from the crap basket at 10p a go.

‘What on earth made you by them?’ says I, ‘they’re shite’.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen an Elvis film’ says she, ‘let’s give it a go’.

‘Okay’, says I, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you’. Later, I opened a bottle of wine and a big bag of crisps, fired up our steam-powered Philips recorder, and we sat down to watch ‘GI Blues’, in which Elvis plays an army tank crewman… with a singing career.

Opening another bottle, we followed this with ‘Fun In Acapulco’, where Elvis plays as a lifeguard… who’s also a singer in a local hotel. Finally came ‘Easy Come, Easy Go’, where The King pursues a dual career as a deep sea diver and, er, a nightclub singer.

Halfway through this third effort, the wife was visibly twitching, and finally she was forced to admit that Elvis ‘movies’ were indeed crap. ‘Don’t say “I told you so”, or else’, she says with a warning glimmer in her eye.

‘I told you so’ says I, and got a cushion chucked at me for my trouble, quickly followed up with ‘you smug bastard’.

‘Watch it my girl’ says I, ‘or I’ll have you over my knee pants down, and I’ll smack that little arse ’til it’s raw’, which promptly resulted in the hurling of another cushion in my direction.

At which point, I leapt from my chair and chased her screaming and giggling up the stairs, that delightful little bottom wiggling seductively in front of my eyes. Take it from me, it’s a whole lot more fun to watch than ‘Blue fucking Hawaii’.

Oh, he’s a waiter in this, and a singing sensation… how original.

Youtube

Nominated by Ron Knee.

This utterly, utterly gutless, cowardly government announced yesterday (6th September) that their review of sickness benefit provision has now been put on hold until after the next general election, probably in 2025.

The official reason for the delay is the complicated consultation work involved, changes to existing regulations and training of health accessors among many other obfuscations.

The current spend on sickness benefits will cost the taxpayer £26 billion this year alone, which is £6 billion more than before the pandemic in real terms, according to the Institute of Fiscal Studies.

The government’s own Office for Budget Responsibility, calculates that 1 in 8 people of working age will be claiming sickness benefit by 2027 at a mind-blowing cost of £77 billion in real terms.

According to stats, there are at least 2.5m on long-term sick, and this will rise over the coming years with the inclusion of mental health issues.

The government are keen to crack down on “suspect” claimants but are too nervous to upset intuitions such as Sense, along with financial backers of the party.

Tory backbenches admit that in all likelihood Labour will become the next government, and therefore it seems pointless implementing a crackdown if its going to be overturned by a more sympathetic Labour party.

But the real issue here is a kick in the balls yet again for the taxpayer who go to work, do a day’s graft, come home knackered and then find in their pay slip deductions for income tax and NICs, some of which is handed over to the feckless cunt over the road who has never done a day’s work but knows how to play the system and is laughing at you!

It is also unfair on the legitimate cases where people are truly sick/incapacitated and are keen to work but for whatever reason cannot. But at the same time can barely manage on the sickness benefits they currently receive. If the government could find some balls and weed out the scumbags and save a few billion some of that could go to these guys who are in desperate need.

But typically the government equivocate even though this problem has been know for years. All too late now though, and Labour just can’t wait to plant some more money trees for the Taxpayer to keep topped up!

MSN Link. (Link fixed by our resident benefits cheat, Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by : Technocunt

An unnamed Air Canada pilot is a cunt.

A couple boarded their flight, only to be met with two vomit covered seats. The cabin crew did their best to clean up the spew from the previous flight, but parts of the seating and belt area still had little puddles of smelly spew.

The flight was full and they wanted their seats cleaned so that they weren’t sitting in some cunt’s puke (not too much to ask, is it?). As the cabin crew sprayed perfume and used coffee grounds to hide the smell, the impatient pilot (who’d been pacing up and down wondering what the delay was) told the passengers that if they weren’t happy, they could go back to the gate and get a new flight at their own expense or be put on a no flight list.

It’s a shame he didn’t try this on a hard, short tempered cunt who would’ve made him eat the puke before knocking the cunt out.

I get pilots have deadlines,blah blah blah…but fuck that in this case.

I hope he loses his job, the nob jockey.

Bbc news

Nominated by Cuntybollocks.

Attached is a drone pic of the aftermath of the Leeds Festival. Litter, tents and general shit left behind.

Left behind by the same woke lefty cunts who support Greta, Jeremy, Net Zero and all the other trendy shite.
Tickets start at around £100 up tp £300. You can ‘Eco Camp’ Perhaps that is what abandoning tents is? Who knows.

Who but middle class trendy wankers can afford this?

Bbc news

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.