Air Canada Vomit Pilot

An unnamed Air Canada pilot is a cunt.

A couple boarded their flight, only to be met with two vomit covered seats. The cabin crew did their best to clean up the spew from the previous flight, but parts of the seating and belt area still had little puddles of smelly spew.

The flight was full and they wanted their seats cleaned so that they weren’t sitting in some cunt’s puke (not too much to ask, is it?). As the cabin crew sprayed perfume and used coffee grounds to hide the smell, the impatient pilot (who’d been pacing up and down wondering what the delay was) told the passengers that if they weren’t happy, they could go back to the gate and get a new flight at their own expense or be put on a no flight list.

It’s a shame he didn’t try this on a hard, short tempered cunt who would’ve made him eat the puke before knocking the cunt out.

I get pilots have deadlines,blah blah blah…but fuck that in this case.

I hope he loses his job, the nob jockey.

Bbc news

Nominated by Cuntybollocks.

45 thoughts on “Air Canada Vomit Pilot

  1. Goes back to the customer service nom mis did a few days ago.

    What customer service?
    You vill sit in da puke 🤮 pay for da privilege and like it. Ya

  2. Sounds like every seat on a Ryanair plane..

    The only good thing to come out of Canada are Terence and Philip..
    Hey buddy..

  3. Making passengers travel in pools of sick may be a giant step in reaching Net Zero. Trudeau is a grande malade.

  4. It’s a unreasonable request.

    Nobody is going to want to sit in puke stinking seats,
    The cheeky moosefucker.

    It’s bullying.
    Put on a ” no fly list’?!!

    I’d of barged in the cockpit and curled out a big steaming turd in the pilots seat

    Put me on the list you Canuck fuck.🖕

      • I hate flying Baz.
        No leg room.

        I’ve promised Mrs Miserable that once the dogs gone I’ll take her to Santorini.

        She’s always wanted to go for some reason.

        I’ll hate every minute of it ☹️

      • Airports need a cunting of their own..

        From arriving 3 hours before, because you have no staff working..

        Imagine tesco’s doing that, this is your time slot, but be aware we only have one till open.

        The shop would be on fire..

  5. The only time I flew Air Canada I was upgraded to Executive Class, which was very nice. Obviously I didn’t get this twat of a pilot, some of them think they’re God, a bit like some hospital consultants.

  6. Here’s an idea Captain Cunty.

    We will sit in two of the seats reserved for your cabin crew.
    They can sit in these two puked on seats.

    After all, they only use them for take off and landing and they are wearing uniforms anyway.

    You won’t miss your take off slot.

    What’s the problem?

  7. The very least should have been an upgrade to first class on the next flight.
    I wonder who supplied the vomit? Maybe the cleaner was feeling a bit iffy.

  8. Me and Ethel never fly. The very thought of it is unsettling in the extreme.

    I can think of few worse things than an aircraft, full of drunken members of the general public, wearing t. shirts bearing the legend ‘ This Shirt Would Look Good On Your Bedroom Floor ‘.

    Another discouraging factor is the cabin crew.

    All fruity gentlemen to a man.

    The risk of being bummed in the frightfully cramped onboard facilities is extremely high.

    No one can hear you scream at 30,000 ft in an airtight cubicle.

    It’s a fucking disgrace.

    We’ll be sticking with the Luxury Motorhome.

    Good morning.

    • Luxury motorhome?

      One carefully owner.
      Needs airing to remove the stench of haggis and cheap whiskey..

      • @ Barry. That one’s coming up at a police auction in the near future. 😀

        That business has gone suspiciously quiet.


      • It’s gone quiet as there’s the inactively active police investigation going on and anyone who says anything about it can be done by McPlod.

        Being a cynic, It would not surprise me that they’re doing this very deliberately in the hopes that people will forget and that they’ll get distracted by all the other deadcattery shit being thrown at them.

        Of course, it’s only a mere coincidence that this legally enforceable silence suits the Krankie, Murrell, the COPFS and the SNP.

    • Morning, Jack. Surreptitious bumming is on the increase worldwide. I always sit with my back to the wall and facing the door when visiting public houses. It used to be because of the IRA, but now it is because of sneaky bottom bandits.

  9. I had an epic drinking session with a Canadian pilot once in Hong Kong. Met him when we were trawling about looking for whores.

    He had to leave about 4am though as he said he was flying at 8am.

    No word of a lie the cunt had been drinking since about 9pm the previous night 😂

    Utterly mental

  10. Having never flown and don’t give a monkeys cuss, besides being nosy, couldn’t the passengers who don’t like vimto (anagram) sit with the pilot and give him “stick” whilst the airline get DNA samples of the culprits and go round and give them a good kicking ?

  11. Canadians, some of them think they are French, ruled over by a weird liberal cunt. The Pilot probably thinks they should have paid extra for the privilege of sitting in puke.

    • It’s not that the Québécois think they’re French, it’s that they know they’re more truly French than the French…and looking at France these days it’s sometimes hard to disagree with them.

      (I’ve Canadian relatives, including Québécois, who thankfully I’ve not seen in decades…)

      • There’s a good internet rumour/conspiracy regarding Trudeaus parentage.

        His mother was friendly with Fidel Castro…. Allegedly.

        As for the plane driver, he should have been reminded about customer service and told to shut the fuck up and drive.

        Probably a paedo.

      • The cunt just EXCUDES oddness. He was a fucking DRAMA TEACHER, now he’s runs Canada? A $2 TRILLION economy, or at least was was, it’s looking more and more like South African these days, what a shithole it looks it places, police have given up in some city areas, that was something you only saw in the USA. It’s happening here, too, proper proper urban decay setting in, the dregs of society taking over the city centres.

        To think that 2025 sees the CLUB (ie. Man City, Real Madrid, etc.) World Cup is in Yankland, then in 2026 the proper World Cup is in Yankland, the 2028 Euros are in Britain and Ireland and the 2028 Olympics are in Los Angeles. Fuck me, will they have their work cut out for them getting the cities spic (racist) and span!

        This weekend was the Asian Games, fucking SPECTACULAR opening ceremony. Wow!

        Is a better world coming? Maybe. But first we will go through a version of HELL! 😀

      • I believe the Chinese have actually set up regional police stations which Trudeau had done fuck all about.

        Everyone knows they are using them as a base for espionage but despite Poilievre destroying Trudeau week in week out, he does nothing , the weird creepy WEF cunt

  12. ‘Air Canada said they are reviewing this very serious matter’.

    I bet they are. This is disgusting pr for the airline.

    The pilot had a bit of power and misused it abominably.Threatening to have these passengers put on a no fly list is atrocious. The cunt should be sacked.

    Morning all.

  13. Justice would have been served had the passenger quietly sat in the puke-fouled seat after shitting in the pilot’s seat, punching him into it and then telling him to fly Vancouver to Sydney, non stop. Nearly 7800 miles in 15.5 foul smelling hours.

    • A fine fantasy CM, but therein lies the problem.

      You’d have promptly been handcuffed, dragged off the plane and probably ended up in prison.

      This cunt of a pilot treated the airline’s passengers abominably. They should have been given an apology, a full refund, free tickets on the next available flight, and hotel and other expenses if necessary. Instead, they were treated as tho they were the problem, all because they didn’t want to sit in seats stinking of vomit.

      Jesus. I repeat, I hope this cunt gets the tin tack.

  14. This is fuck all. The other day a Delta Airlines plane from Atlanta to Spain had to turn back after a literal shower of shit.
    Yes, some wimminz, suffering from diarrhoea, sprayed it all up the aisle in her struggle to reach the toilet. The pilot decided it was a “bio hazard” and turned back. Fuck me, can you imagine the smell? They spent five hours cleaning it up including replacing all the carpets.
    It made me fucking laugh but, of course, I wasn’t there. 😁

    • I believe the puking was filmed and will appear in the next blockbuster released by Universal Pictures.

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