These tourist traps and tasteless monstrosities richly deserve a cunting.

London traffic is bad enough without these things clogging up the streets. They are an eyesore and a traffic hazard. Selfridges on Oxford Street, as well as other areas, seems to be a meeting place for them. There they can be seen in all their tasteless glory, bicycle rickshaws in various revolting hues and decor, some with pink fur lined interiors and fluffy dice, most blasting out tasteless Arabic or Latino dance music at ear splitting volumes. These contraptions are nearly always driven by shady Middle Eastern or South American types and they have the driving skills to prove it.

As if this wasn’t bad enough, the contraptions are uninsured, unlicensed and unregulated. There are tourist nightmare stories of gullible fools getting into these and being charged a few hundred pounds with menaces at the end of the journey. And how tourists can be seen in these embarrassing conveyances is difficult to understand. I would have to put a brown paper bag over my head.

These things belong in the Third World, not London. Oh, hang on, London is the Third World….

Metro

Nominated by MMCM.

Now that the Czar of Cryptocurrency Sam Bankman-Fried – you know him of the iffy ‘70s footballer perm – has been sent down in America as a dodgy cunt, a fraud and a liar, I restate my previous position.

Betting on the gee gees with Lester Piggott or blowing my wad at a Chinese Casino, would be more ethical than entering into the anonymous cash free world of Crypto Mining and fungible CC (CryptoCurrency is fungible because it can be exchanged for other currencies) and non-fungible tokens (exist only as a line of code in a block chain).

Who owns the Crypto-currency Exchanges? Er nobody, at least in a legal sense.

Who owns the CC held in them? Er nobody, at least in a legal sense.

Is there an address I can go to to draw my CC out if I want to? Er no, at least not in a legal sense. In order to “Cash Out” you have to first sell your CC to an intermediary such as a website like Coinbase

I’m starting to like the sound of this, how do I start mining CC for myself and others? Get yourself a remote warehouse and fill it with vast numbers of PCs running 24/7 then install remote terminals all over the World where punters insert cash and see it vanish in exchange for a Non Fungible Token – lines of code sent to your CC account.

Er you can’t, at least not in a legal sense.

Mob and other underworld connections would help though. How do I find those? Try the Dark Web or just inside the kitchen door of a Chinese or Italian restaurant.

Interesting factoid. Law enforcement agencies searching for illegal CC Exchanges either employ vast teams of cyber analysts online to trace the dealings or just send in the heavy mob to any remote premises that have started to use large amounts of electricity. An indication of Raves, Cannabis Farms and CC Mining or all three.

Now Bankman-Fried (subject to appeals and lawyers) is going down for a very long time in the Yankee penitentiary system good news is that he will be soon experiencing the old fashioned jail currency of AC (Arse Crypto) and DC (Dick Crypto).

The BBC version of the story and pictures of the scruffy cunt in whiffy sneakers:
BBC News

Nominated by: Official Suspect

Never thought I’d be doing this, but Noel Gallagher has temporarily uncunted himself.

As we all know, his cunt credentials are solid. His musical larceny, endless hubris, self mythologizing, and infinite drivel about Manchester City.

But recently Noel said something that somebody in the music industry should have said years ago.
That Adele is shit.

And that’s because she is shit. One key only bawling and only one subject matter. Getting dumped and getting her own back on some ex. The same repetitive autotuned crap, beloved by Malteser guzzling wine swigging porky slags and beige tossers across the nation. The way she is lauded like she is Maria Callas meets Aretha Franklin is puke inducing, And the songs are as tiresome as they are moronic.

‘I’m gonna set fire to the rain’. How is that done, exactly? ‘I’m gonna make your head burn’ is another one?. And somebody should tell the stupid cow that it’s ‘rumour has it’ or ‘the rumour is’. Not ‘the rumour has it’. It doesn’t even make sense. What complete and utter drivel.?

Adele and Ed Sheercunt represent the gruesome nadir of British popular music, and it’s good that at least one rock star isn’t routinely kissing their arses.

So – just for one day – Noel isn’t a cunt.
But, he will be again soon….?

NME

Nominated by: Norman

I remember being told to watch The Walking Dead, it’s fucking amazing.

What’s it about?

Zombies! They’ve taken over.

Fuck that. Zombies are shite

They’re very boring as antagonists, and the premise as to why the world has now succumbed to them is glossed over, or simply half-arsed B movie exposition.

I’ve never seen a Zombie film where I could suspend my disbelief for very long, apart from Shaun of the Dead, simply because the army turn up and kill them after a delay of a few days, and it was very funny and took the piss.

Unless the zombies are the sort you get in that World War Z film where they run over each other’s backs like fire ants at 60 mph, they aren’t the best vector of a virus/infection.

They tend to be visible, and slow, not prone to using ambush tactics, easily disposed of by people in lorry cabs with bulldozer blades and other mad max vehicles driven by American women, let alone the combined firepower of the world’s military forces.

Best not show that part. Might look completely unbelievable.

Zombies brought to being by magic, well that’s third-world nonsense.

I’d be more interested in films about that witch-doctor who turned himself into a goat and the goat was made to stand trial. That’s the sort of film such beliefs should inspire, with an African judge asking the goat, ‘wah are you gey? You are gey!’ but no, it’s more undead, rotting cadavers shuffling about like moronic cunts, or scuttling around like cockroaches.

Even as a metaphor for consumerism, it’s embarrassingly heavy-handed;

‘Look how the mindless hordes accumulate in the shopping centre’.

Yes, yes, how subtle. How was this film paid for and who are buying the tickets?

Now it’s about AIDS. Now it’s about 9/11. Now it’s Covid.

The Walking Dead. It’s must-watch TV

Based on a comic book, you see… about zombies.

Game of Thrones had zombies in it, but the writers decided they weren’t as dangerous as the Incest army and their banker chums.

‘Zhivago!’ or whatever she used to say to make the dragon burp up some propane.

Call the thing Dragons vs Zombies. That’s what it became.

Have you seen the remake of (something else) Dead?’

Then there’s your weeaboo zombie enthusiasts.
A Jap/Korean zombie film you say? Do the Zombies speak Jap/Korean?
It’s artistic because it has subtitles, but the Zombies still speak the same language.

Excuse me, there’s a traffic jam somewhere I feel I’m missing out on.

(even finding a link to support this cunting was difficult, as its subject is such a stupid concept/trope only the pop-culture addicted clickholes of the MSM will comment, but, just in case you’re worried…).

How Stuff Works

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

Who gave this fuckwit a role of any authority over the public? She should not even be given control of a mop and bucket.

MSN

Firstly she flips out over being compared to a teenager’s lesbian nan, then is filmed pepper spraying members of the public who are merely standing in a residential street, earning the nickname Lesbian Rambo. What are West Yorkshire Police playing at recruiting such shite?

Firstly she’s fucking tiny. I’ve bought Christmas turkeys with more meat on them. My dog could swallow her in three bites – head, body, legs.

Secondly, she’s completely deranged. She’s obviously carrying more baggage than an Airbus A380 to become so easily triggered.

Why are our policewoman so fucking small and weak?
Look at this shit;
YouTube

Then there’s this dwarf commandeering a bike.
YouTube

When Boris Johnson (or any politician) says we’ll put XY-thousand more police on the streets, this is what they mean; recruiting the detritus that didn’t make the cut by lowering entry requirements so you end up with what we have now; an army of thick, jumped-up, fat midgets, 14 year old girls and social workers in yellow bibs, who don’t know the law and can’t handle the pressure of the job or dealing with the public.

Down my way in Sussex you have gormless theatre studies graduates getting recruited, people who think AntiFa are a force for good, people who think Tesco aren’t capitalist because they sell cheap sandwiches. The sort of blokes who say they feel their girlfriend’s pain during periods.

That’s just a glimpse of the chromosomally-challenged cunts getting into the police now. Male officers shrieking at old women who get a bit confused at yellow diversion signs. Officers misreading COVID guidance and harassing the public for buying wine and crisps during the pandemic, and all subsequent charges being thrown out of court.

Mirror News

People being charged with public order offences for creating effigies of Grenfell and again, the defendant acquitted of those charges.

Indie News

The geniuses of Humberside police who phone people to ‘check their thinking’ because they liked a pithy tweet mocking trans ideology, and logging it as a ‘non-crime hate incident’.
After the officer explained to the ‘suspect’ (Harry Miller, and ex-policeman himself) what the ‘correct’ thinking was, the officer was asked how he knew about transsexuals

‘I went on a course’.

BBC News

How much further down into the dregs of society must the police plunge to fill their recruitment quotas?

Any good Marxist will tell you that when the ideological state apparatus fails, the state resorts to its oppressive apparatus. That is happening now as more and more speech is judged as hateful and subject to police intervention, given the complete failure of the BBC and political-media class to enforce their worldview, and this has mostly happened under a conservative government.

The problem now is, with such rampant cretinism in the ranks, how do they stop the police becoming an even bigger laughing stock than themselves?

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime