Celibricunt reunions

Posted on September 14, 2016 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

I’d also like to cunt and nominate those celebricunts who were fucking useless/wank in the first place. Piffle off into obscurity for 5yrs and then come back in some excruciating reunion piece of shite which follows the same fomula:

1. Meet up and pretend to be all awkward about it.
2. Make up and be bestest ever friends again ever.
3. Pretend to make some records (while you can hear the “Milli Vanilli” real singers in the background).
4. Couple of squabbles.
5. Go on CUNT-FACTOR with Simon Cowell.
6. Do 1/2doz sell out shows before the country realises: “No, you really were shite!”.
7. Fade off into obscurity.
8. 5yrs later, goto 1.

Next in line is the Spice Girls but they’re not sure if the queen of talentless celibricunts – Victoria Beckham – can make it. Yeah they’ll miss that vocal range……..but, hang on girls, all is not lost! I could turn up with a kid’s party balloon, blow it up but not tie it off and then let the air out slowly in that shrill squealing noise. That’d be a close enough approximation I’m sure.

I bet even that celebricunt with the “welly-top” fanny Mel B couldn’t even tell the difference in her ubercelebricunt role as a judge of the next batch of celebricunts!

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!

Pauline Cafferkey [2]

Posted on September 13, 2016 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Ebola riddled harridan Pauline Cafferkey is a fucking lying bitch who deserves a good cunting for her antics.

Having essentially bullshitted her way back into the UK from ‘heroically’ nursing the ‘needy’ in Sierra Leone by deliberately not declaring that she was running a temperature indicative that she too had gone and picked up the bug herself, she subsequently swans around potentially exposing who knows how many to contamination before finally succumbing to the symptoms herself and then expects the good old tax payer to shell out an undoubted fuck load of cash for her specialist treatment under strict isolation conditions, and on more than one occasion… cash that could have gone towards treating more deserving cases than that of someone who chose to put herself in harm’s way supposedly to ease the suffering of others abroad but then doesn’t give a flying fuck whether she goes on to cause another epidemic herself once back home.

Now facing formal nursing misconduct proceedings, the criminally reckless bitch is claiming that early symptoms of the disease would have impaired her judgement so there’s no evidence she had been deliberately dishonest in concealing her condition. Pull the other fucking one, love.

Cunt should be made to pay back every single fucking penny it cost to cure her.

Nominated by: Cunty McCunt Face

Chilled soup

Posted on September 13, 2016 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

I know a bit about food and anyone who eats cold or ‘chilled’ soup is a cunt. I don’t care if you live in the Sahara desert and you need to cool down soup should be hot.

You cunts.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

Sam Allardyce [2]

Posted on September 13, 2016 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Amazed that nobody has cunted that fat, ugly, useless cunt Sam Allardyce.

Seeing that neanderthal grinning like a Cheshire cat on the front pages made me want to refund my dinner. “Hark”, I hear you say, “thou shalt have respect for the new England manager”. Well I don’t and here’s why.

You’d be forgiven for thinking that managing the national football team would require certain basic qualifications. Things like having been a success at the highest club level by actually winning things like league titles and cups. Has Allardyce achieved that? No. Have any of the teams he’s ‘managed’ had consistent qualifying success in European competitions? No. Has he managed any of the recognised big clubs across Europe? No. Has he had a strong track record of managing and coaching any of football’s best players? No.

So what exactly are his qualifications then? On the face of it, he doesn’t have any. So the fact he was offered the position in the first place beggars belief, but the fact he accepted it and didn’t say, “No, I’m completely unqualified, I have neither a winning track record nor mentality and my teams are generally just a bunch of thugs who kick, elbow and foul their way through games” makes him a weapons grade cunt. Absolutely cannot wait for this gargantuan prick to get fired.

Nominated by: Immitation Yank

Hillary Clinton [5]

Posted on September 12, 2016 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

After weeks of speculation about Killary’s health and after she had a coughing fit last week, today she fainted at an event to comemorate 9/11. I’m sure you will all join me in wishing her a full and speedy recovery

Nominated by: Skidmark Eggfart

Ah poor Killary, something serious I hope. The stupid cunt is actually making Trump look good except I can’t take him seriously because trump is synonymous with fart where I come from. I might proudly wear a basket if deplorable T shirt though.

Nominated by: Alan Fistula

She is the epitome of the modern politician.. Out of touch with the voters, condescending, ignorant, self serving, blinkered, biased, untrustworthy, weak, venal, perverse, perverted, anti-British, two-faced,stupid, selfish and to top it off….as ugly as a butt-fucked warthog.

A pox on the whole stinking bunch of them

Nominated by: Dick Fiddler