My sister

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I crave indulgence from my fellow cunters, but today is my sister’s 77th birthday and I need to get this off my chest.

How the fucker has lasted this long is frankly beyond me. She is without a doubt one of the most truly evil people I have ever met. Her very existence is based around thinking “Who can I fuck up next?” She could give lessons to ISIS on being a cunt.

I not seen her since my mother’s funeral over 30 years ago. I even moved house twice without telling her where I live. While my mother was lying on her death bed, she was clearing out the house of her stuff. She persuaded my mother – not in the best mental health – to change her will to cut me out of it and then tried to persuade me to break my late father’s trust fund to get her hands on that as well.

She is so fucking evil that her husband committed suicide rather than live with her. Really. I can understand that. If I had to live with her, I’d kill myself.

At the age of 77 she is living proof that only the good die young.

Guess what, sis? You’re a cunt – and a fucking evil cunt to boot…

Nominated by Dioclese

Richard Branson (9)

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Emergency cunting for Virgin trains. They are refusing to sell the Daily Mail. Apparently the snowflakes who work there find the paper offensive! Boo hoo …..

Nominated by kravdarth.

Branson is a fucking cunt. He hoovers up taxpayers subsidies and then fucks off to avoid paying it himself. Now the cunt bans a newspaper from his trains because the staff object to it. What a load of fucking bollocks!!
Like they can object to anything.

“Excuse me Mr Branson I object to the slave wages you pay us.”

“ Oh yeah…..well there are plenty of Poles, Lithuanians and assorted Muzzies to take your place. Don’t like it then fuck off cunt.”

Cunt has banned the Mail because it’s not a pro EU toilet roll. Bastard fucking cunt.

Nominated by Freddie The Frog.

Kate Williams

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I would like to Cunt Kate Williams ‘ Royal Historian ‘

For fucks sake! First of all she always looks a right fuckin’ mess . Do something with your hair!

Secondly all she fuckin’ does is state the bleedin’ obvious. This latest gem from her: “Harry’s wedding will require a lot of security” Well fuck me who would have thunk it?

Nominated by Richard I

Private Eye

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Private Eye is overdue a severe cunting.

I have subscribed since the days of Heath and Wilson. I have tolerated the endless Fleet St tittle tattle because some of the satire and bad taste can be excellent and the investigative stuff is also good. Many cunts have been exposed over the years.

However, since June 2016 it has become almost entirely one sided in it’s attacks. Apparently there is no satire in the posturings of Blair, Krankies, Miller, Clegg. Cameron and so on. Everything now points out what cunts those that voted Leave are. It does have a go at that odious cunt Osborne but only because he has the temerity to edit a newspaper. A newspaper which has no meaning to anyone living outside the M25, and I suspect very little meaning to the majority inside.

Private Eye is now Establishment. Supporting the mainly London, liberal elite – the civil servants. lawyers, politicians and all the rest of the gravy train troughers who serve no purpose to the majority of Brits. All within the M25 natch.

The late Peter Cook must be turning in his grave. He came from the establishment and spent his life subverting it in one way or another.

Private Eye – the Remoaners Gazette. Staffed by cunts, edited by a cunt, written for cunts who know, yes they are certain in their belief that the rest of the UK is populated by knuckle dragging morons.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Oi! Hislop, ya cunt!

When you gonna answer this? It’s been seven fucking years…

An open letter to Ian Hislop

Nominated by Dioclese

Loose Women [3]

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Most of us, I guess, are rather partial to loose women. On the other hand, Loose Women must be a shoe in for Cunt Personality of the Year.

Normally, when there’s a group of middle aged women sitting around a table talking about puerile subjects in a diction thats on the level of 65 IQ, I can mute the sound and enjoy the shaggability factor. Not with these dog minges. Christ, did they advertise as mankness and a complete lack of sex appeal as essential requirements?

And, who the fuck invented Janet Street Porter? Hated the lefty cow right from the NME days.

Loose Women gives that Len Goodman rhyme shit a run for its money.

Nominated by Cunts n Roses