
UPS.
I have fucking had it with these cunts. Why? Three reasons.
1) They routinely operate a ‘we will deliver when we feel like it’ policy.
2) Deliveries to residential addresses are lowest priority (I know this for a fact).
3) They simply don’t care.
The other day I was running low on packing tape. I didn’t have time to down tools, get in the car, drive over to the local DIY place, put on a fucking mask, deal with mongs, buy the tape and drive home again. Bastard Amazon had what I needed and could deliver the next day. So I placed the order (midday on a Tuesday) and got on with my packing. Bastard Amazon allocated the delivery to UPS(*). The order shipped with a delivery status of “Wednesday by 9PM”. Bit late in the day, but fair enough. All day I waited and nothing showed up. 9PM came and went, then Bastard Amazon updated the delivery status to “shipment delayed but still arriving today”. 10PM came and went, then Bastard Amazon updated the delivery status to “shipment delayed, now expected Thursday or Friday by 9PM”! My package was on that fucking UPS truck for 15 hours and never got delivered. Lovely.
If UPS had any semblance of integrity or professionalism, the package would have been on my door step first thing Thursday morning. Was it? Was it fuck! I needed tape, so Mrs. Yank being the trooper she is, went to the DIY store for me. I then had to do battle with Bastard Amazon. They refused to cancel the order because it was already out for delivery. They suggested I refuse delivery and when the package gets returned to them, they’ll refund my money. There’s more to that part of the story, but I’ll cunt Bastard Amazon another time. 7PM on Thursday evening the cunt UPS driver shows up. Before he got back in his van and drove away, I legged it after him, told him I was refusing delivery and handed him back the box which looked like it had been in a war. He took the box, grunted something and fucked off.
Next thing I know I get an email from Bastard Amazon telling me my order has been delivered! No! No! Fuckity no! Back online with Bastard Amazon to tell them what happened. This time they did refund my money since I had refused delivery as per THEIR suggestion. That’s the end of the matter, right? Wrong! On Sunday, 3 days later, what do I discover outside my front door? Yep, the same fucking box I’d handed back to Stone Age Man on Thursday evening!
I’ve done nothing wrong here and yet have had my time wasted by both UPS and Bastard Amazon who between them couldn’t do the thing they’re in business to do. Pathetic! I’m not contacting Bastard Amazon again or UPS for that matter because this is not my problem to solve. I guess we’ll have to wait and see if Bastard Amazon charge me again for a box they’ll never get back. Fuck ‘em.
* Other delivery services are available and they’re all shit as well
Nominated by: Imitation Yank