This is a bit of an off the wall nomination, but makes a change from the many (deserved) nominations for the BBC, EU etc…

Anyway, preamble over, I want to nominate limescale prevention tablets.

Following instructions on the packet, I place the tablet at the back of the washing machine drum. As soon as the cycle starts, it immediately finds its way to the front of the machine and lodges itself in the rubber seal behind the door. It stubbornly remains there as a half dissolved blob until the spin cycle, when it worms its way right into the middle of the washload and then I find a load of gritty residue in my clothes.

Do any other cunters have nominations for irritating domestic items, not including your spouse? (Vacuum Cleaners: noisy smelly fucking things the missus uses first thing Sunday mornings while I’m still in kip – Day Admin)

Nominated by: mystic maven

Early on thursday morning (04.55am) they’re showing the film ‘Flash Gordon’ on the Sky Villains channel. The Sky Guide description reads:

“This film has outdated attitudes, language and cultural depictions which may cause offence today. Hero Flash Gordon races to save Earth from the Emperor Ming.”

Are they serious? This is a PG film. It’s ‘Flash Gordon’ (1980), not ‘Flesh Gordon’ (1974).

You could say that every film made before 1970 has outdated attitudes. Why would the idiots at Sky think we need this warning?

I find their description offensive. Fuck off, Sky.

Nominated by: Allan 

Hold tight to your corsets, Dame Keir Starmer, it seems, bright eyed an bushy tailed one of the old waxworks of the past is after your job. I refer of course, to the great “charity” worker, defender of South Shields, and gutless back-stabber David Miliband.

Old Dave has appeared for two consecutive weeks in that bastion of New Labour newspeak, The London Standard free newspaper. Last week, he was wittering on about dining in America in social distancing days (made it harder for hi to lick the arsehole of his host), now, having been in the States for years, the bumptious one has denied the shenanigans of 2017 (doubtess he has a crystal ball):

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/david-miliband-jeremy-corbyn-labour-party-2017-election-a4520941.html

How would the little motherfucker know?. I am no fan of Corbyn but it was undeniable that there were certain “ultra Bairites” in the Labour party who put the boot in every day from 2015 onwards, including Wes Streeting, Neil Coyle, Bendover Brdshaw, Yvette Sugartits Cooper, and every one of the cunts who dissed him were right-wingers. Blair himself was forever mincing about laying down the poison.

I suspect the truth is Mili is fed up with his “charity” work and realises that by becoming a shadow minister, and the extras he can cream off as “expenses” he would be better off with the movers and shakers (on in the Starmer case, the mincers and benders) in the I-can-be-whatever-you-want-me-to-be-duckie Labour party.

Just as Starmer hung on for grim death in a shadow cabinet he had nothing in common with, till he got the chance to replace old Steptoe if he is daft enough (oh yes he is!) to have mincing Mili back he will go the same way when Starmer loses in 2024. I am sure Jimmy Purnell head of BBC news and “education” would bend over backwards to help his little friend. After all, he was his co-conspirator in 2009.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs 

Ben and Jerry’s – my first ever CUNTING!

After years of regular viewing/laughing on this great site, I’ve decided to break my cherry on Ben and Jerry! ?

B&J are cunts aren’t they?

According to the MSM Sky cunts (link below) BJs stated that the government is showing “a lack of humanity” whilst dealing with all the illegal immigrants whom are pitching up on the shores of the south in little rubber boats. They are bringing plague and all sorts of other vile shit back into our country which has long since been eradicated in the UK with them too – just what we fucking need at this time.

There are a host of reasons why this situation boils my piss but one reason I don’t see articulated often is what would happen if a boat load of peacefuls pitch up in a dingy armed to the teeth having brought ‘A Kays’ with them in their little boat, and go on a “spree”. You can buy A Kay’s in street markets in some of the shitholes these “migrants” spawn from for Christs sake. I bet the good folks in Em eye five are SHITTING THEIR DACKS over this prospect.

Are we only catching a small proportion of these cheesedicks? How many are getting through undetected? I shudder to think. Anyway, Ben and Jerry’s should stick to making fucking ice cream and pull its nose out of all the woke bullshit they are spouting – the ice cream making CUNTS.

https://news.sky.com/story/ben-jerrys-tackle-home-secretary-over-migrant-crossings-and-get-a-chilly-response-12047420

Nominated by: Napoleon Boner

…and seconded by Family Farter 

Ben and Jerry’s ice cream co.

A raspberry ripple cunt nom please, not for the sickly teeth destroying indulgence, although I am partial to bit of Haagen Dazs, but for yet another preposterous virtue signalling shit show via Twitter titter shitter shatter.
This time the honourable Priti Patel is the target by this company over her policy to bring to an end the endless flow of migrant boats in the English Channel, and too fucking right she is as well.

https://metro.co.uk/2020/08/12/priti-patel-attacks-ben-jerrys-ice-cream-row-migrant-crossings-13117320/

More than 4,000 migrants have reached the UK this year by crossing the English Channel in small boats, with almost 600 of the cunts arriving between Thursday and Sunday. Wow, with that level of success, we can probably expect another 4000 before 2020 is done and dusted, unless the home secretary’s plans to make our borders stronger works.

But of course this is downright inhumane according to Ben and Jerry’s
sanctimonious Twatter spokesperson who seems to believe that we should grant asylum to every cunt that manages to get here. Are all these dinghy locusts known for their love of ice cream I wonder? No? Then fuck off Ben and Jerry’s unless you’re prepared to fund the building of hundreds of thousands of new homes on brown field sites for your beloved newcomers that have travelled through several countries and crossed twenty odd miles of sea to ‘seek refuge’. Yeah, my arse they have! Dirty Opportunist Cunts.