Jocko Oirish old slapper currently luxuriating in attention after having been injected with the first free dodgy Pfizer Covid Jab “In The World”. Clearly no good for Alzheimer’s though because when interviewed on all networks the old biddy could only chortle on that it was free and she had done it for all mankind and when was she going to get her prize? A “free” out of season timeshare in Pria De Luz.

Nurses are organising a Go Fund Me campaign to raise funds of £150 for her Confirmation Fee to secure her Exclusive Limited Time Prize plus £25 handling charge to be sent by Wells Fargo to a Mr Bongo in Sierra Leone within 10 days.

Meanwhile Johnson, who is considerably less honest than Mr Bongo, is seen fart arsing it in an NHS coat puff puff fluffing away at how great Britain is for having delivered at massive cost a vaccine by Pfizer, a dodgy pariah among yank drugs companies, developed in Germany and manufactured in Belgium. Blighty’s part in all this? Put in shed loads of money and provided the first unpaid guinea pigs.

The NHS has bought up the world’s supply of super freezers to in which to store the unstable vaccine. Going to be vast numbers of those going begging in a few months time.

Why all this hoopla at this time some may ask. Surely not to throw a smokescreen over a Brexit rat out? Cheap second hand freezer anyone (after the Civil Servants have had theirs)?

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

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Back in August I was driving the M25 when a Romanian articulated lorry driver decided he would prefer my lane rather than his. The problem was that I was overtaking him at the time and was alongside his trailer. Without indication or any other warning he pulled into my lane.

By some miracle I braked and swerved with a tyre (or tyres) on his trailer glancing several blows on the nearside of my car. Luckily the damage was slight; paint loss from the front wing, a small door dent and pain loss from the rear bumper.

To be fair to the Romanian, he apologised and presented his green card for me to photgraph. So far so good. I got a snap of his number plate and I thought then all should be OK for the claim.

Apparently not. Because I only took a snap of the rear number plate, my insurance company could not claim back costs from the Romanian lorry driver’s insurer. For some half-arsed reason, foreign lorry drivers are allowed to drive on the UK’s roads with different registration plates on the cab and the trailer!

So cunters, if you are ever hit by one of these left-hand drive clowns whilst they are not watching the road and instead eating a Yorkie, drinking cheap lager or wanking to Xhamster, then ensure you get a photo of both the front and rear number plates of the vehicle as well as the green card.

All is well that ends well, after my insurance company told me I lost my NCD as they couldn’t claim from the insurer of the cab, I argued that it wasn’t the cab that hit me, but the trailer, for which they had insurance details on the green card. After a formal complaint to them they reinstated my NCD.

What a fucking palaver!

Nominated by: Paul Maskinback

Just been watching The Universe on Sky History 2. Excellent stuff. However, there was a bald man with a ponytail. I stopped caring about what he said because of his monstrous faux pas.

No. Just fucking no.

You are bald. That precludes your ability on a social level to grow a ponytail.

In essence, he is a cunt.

Caveat. I’m a slap ‘ed.

Nominated by: Dark key cunt

Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important to recycle but what boils my piss is that the cunts are picky about what we can and can’t recycle.

‘You can recycle a plastic milk bottle but not the lid.

You can recycle cardboard but you have to remove the tape.

We can only recycle shredded paper.’

I put the bin out this morning and accidentally put a small takeaway style foil container on the top.

Rather than simply move the container into the general waste bin next to it, the lazy cunt of a bin man red tags me and didn’t empty my bin.

Considering our green bin is emptied fortnightly this was inconvenient to tell the truth.

On the tag it stated that by not sorting our recyclables correctly it creates more work for the lazy cunts down at the recycling center.

So basically I have to pay their wages through my council tax AND do their job for them.

I thought I could get round this by reporting my bin hadn’t been emptied, but apparently every bin lorry is now kitted out like the Starship Enterprise and has an on-board computer for logging these recycling infractions.

We are being encouraged to recycle to save the world so why make it harder?

Nominated by: The Cunt of Monte Cristo

Here a difficult one. Racism is a cunt.

Humans are not racist but every one of us are tribalist.It really doesnt matter about your melanin levels, people divide themselves into tribes .

In other words the modern bollox of the mental condition taught in all schools,universities and every corporation ” Intersectionality” is a cunt without foundation in this country..

I dont remember being racist and strangely I love my tar brushed grand kids just as much as my arian ones..

Its hilariously weak in depth but has been taken up by every cunt with power. Tribalism accounts for it all from Celtic v Rangers to The National Trust V its members.

The word racism is a ridiculous English word that for some reason has been allowed to encapsulate the murder of people and disagreement of policy.

Nominated by: Smug cunt