Timpsons – Under Pressure

A bit of multiple cunting but please hear/read me out.

I used to have a bit of wedge and owned a Omega Seamaster, a Tag Carrera and a Rolex Oyster. Nice collection of watches. Through chance and circumstance (caused mostly by myself) I pawned the Tag and Rolex – the service charges, especially if they’re broken, are more expensive than servicing a car.

That said, I keep the Omega because it’s quartz and needs a battery as opposed to being mechanical/automatic (working off the kinetic energy when you wank).

I then bought a Royal London watch (not an insurance freebie, you cunts) which has a Miyota movement – a Citizen watch’s movement that is one of the most reliable and sold worldwide.

I had three quartz watches (the Omega, the RL and a Casio Pro-Trek. The battery on the Pro-Tek (200m of water pressure resistant) ran out so I took it to Timpsons to replace the battery. Their operative (I use this word lightly) did the replacement there and then and did admit that, perhaps, the 200m resistance would not be effective. However, he did day that 100m of effectiveness would be the product of his work. Plus Timpsons give you a lifetime guarantee on their work.

Needless to say, I went for a swim during October (during the brief unlockdown) and it misted up. 100m? It couldn’t even do 1m. Cunts. They took my watch and sent it to their factory. When it came back, I wore it in the shower and it conked out. CUNTS.

The added problem I have is that my Omega and the RL watch need new batteries and the only place I want to to take them is Watch Lab, who did this shit properly. However, I can’t because of fucking lockdown.

One positive is that I’ve bought a Citizen eco watch which uses light to power itself.

Dry cleaning, shoe heels and new keys – go to Timpsons.
For watches, Timpsons are CUNTS. Fuck ’em.

Nominated by: Dark key cunt 

https://www.timpson.co.uk/

National Crime Agency (NCA)


The NCA (national crime agency) deserve a good cunting!

They carried out a successful operation in which a Turkish lorry driver was detained on the M25 on his way to Dover to smuggle 16 (im)migrants out of the UK! Yes, that is correct, OUT of the UK

I would like to carry out a successful operation where I can get hold of the details of this Turkish lorry driver and ask him if he has any friends and relatives who also drive lorries who are willing to smuggle OUT as many illegals as they fucking can!

NCA indeed!

Fuck off!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-56481377

Nominated by: TheBestRevengeIsLivingWell

Atheists (2)

Atheists are boring .

The belief in no religion, is a belief. Its the same. The void is filled with new saints, new heresies, and new devils. The end of religion means new devils. These are “the Nazis”. Even though they were utterly defeated in 1945 they are everywhere.

Where are they. I have never met or seen one. The new truth is everywhere. Personally I’m a religious agnostic but a fervent belief in antidisestablishmentarianism (do I get a bonus point) when the motives are directly opposed to the normal English (fuck the Scotch, its a lost cause) people.

So fuck blm, extinction cunts and every other fucker wanting to destroy the only place in the world I call home.

Nominated by: smugcunt 

Race Report Deniers


Race Report Deniers are my nomination.

https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2021/03/31/government-equalities-commission-race-report-tony-sewell-institutional-racism-backlash/

(Get your current affairs updates from Pink News do we? Noted. – NA)

They just can’t stand it can they? A government report which has called out institutional racism as fake has been condemned by a multitude of black intellectuals and campaign groups. Too many to list here but headed by the usual suspects. The Begums, the Lammys, the Butlers et al. I guess even Sir Lenny will get around to doing so if he hasn’t already.

They don’t accept that factors such as geography and community limit life chances rather than skin colour. They don’t want to hear anything other than their own biased opinions. All these prominent people who were after all held back by blatant discrimination themselves (as if).

This report claims that poor white boys are actually on the lowest rung of the social ladder and that black Caribbeans do better than those of black African descent.

No, the deniers cry – this is a wicked attempt to divide the black community which we all know.is a solid unit. I mean there is never any black on black violence is there? They all get along just fine or would do if whitey wasn’t always interfering.

The point is why do we bother having public reports if they are going to be rubbished by those whose only interest is to perpetuate myths?

Even Boris and his whimpy ministers don’t defend it with any resolve. They still kowtow to the ‘Britain remains racist’ lobby.

It really is pathetic.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss

…and on a similar note, this from W.C.Boggs

DOREEN LAWRENCE:

A Why-Am-I-Treated-So-Bad? cunting please, with the George Mitchell Choir and a violin section for our favourite part time epidemiologist and professional race baiter, Doreen, who is not best pleased by this weeks official report – led by a black man – which suggests Britain is not the hotbed of racism Hammy Lammy and the The Guardian and BBC like to make out it is. Dame Keir and Lovely Lisa Nandy, and her bouncy funbags have both professed themselves “disappointed”, no doubt because the report does’nt accord with their sense of victimhood.

Wellm honey chile, Doreen knows better. The report, she says “give s agreen light to racism”:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9428405/Stephen-Lawrences-mother-says-race-report-gives-racists-green-light.html

This woman had the terrible misfortune to lose her son in what might, or might not , have been a racist attack. That was 27 years ago – time now, you might think, to shut the fuck up, but this ignorant, deluded woman became a Labour peer.

If tihs country is so terrible, why doesn’t she go and live in de islands, with sea, sun, happy faces – but no House of Lords “expenses”

And even more this time from Lord Cuntingford 

Dal Babu and the Rest of the Rest of the Race “Industry”

An aspiring architectural cunting for Mr Babu, plus the other usual suspects Doreen “Zira” Lawrence and David “Guy” Lammy.

At great expense, the government have produced a document stating what we already know: that race is not an issue in this country. However, no content with looking closer to home for the myriad reasons for black failure to achieve, Lawrence and Lammy start to argue that the report itself is racist. They now have a new spokesman in Babu, a former Scotland Yard Officer who was, no doubt promoted beyond his abilities due to the single qualification of being Asian, hence the “former”. Babu is moaning that the questions were unfair and is, unsurprisingly, given air time by a number of “race organisations”

I predict more of this incessant whingeing as more of them are promoted or given jobs, purely for their race. They then realise they are not up to the job, but then complain that it is all the fault of racism, rather than their lack of ability. I really do feel afraid for the future of my son, who will be growing up in a country where his race (white) and sex (male) seem to be disqualifications for any job. I’m off to Hungary I think.

Boris Johnson – Fucks the Pubs, again!

Boris Johnson continues to be a massive and useless cunt.

His latest volte face (one of dozens in the past year as he staggers around in a lockdown nightmare of his own creation) is to suggest that pubs might want to ban people who have not had the vakzine.

This cunt was supposed to be a fucking Tory. He doesn’t even know how market forces work. Some shit scared pubs may insist on vakzinated only, others will not. I wonder which will do best? Boris will soon have have another boffo idea – to move further to the left and legislate that only vakzined people can go to the pub. Oh, wait…no one under 40 will have been vakzinated. ‘Blimey! Lorks! This is tricky shitty stuff. More lockdown is the only way out.’

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-56517486

Fuck off, Boris you utter gibbering wanker.

Nominated by: Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea