(Two cunts for the price of one  – DA)

Dave Grohl is a cunt.

Although I was never a big Nirvana* fan (Kurt was too much of a whiny cunt and a proto-snowflake for my liking), this cunting is more about their drummer and how he is sickeningly sycophantic to almost all rock aristocracy.

Whether it’s McCartney, Dylan, Keef, Ringo, Townshend, Jimmy Page or any other rock relic, Grohl will be behind them, licking their arses.

His fawning over Ringo when the Fabs sticksman got a gong from the Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame was akin to Des O’Connor laughing hysterically at a guest’s anecdotes. Also, when the great Lemmy (RIP) passed away, Grohl was arse lickingly crawly and scraping.

Now the cunt has done a ‘lockdown record’ with that antique cunt, Mick Jagger. Hearing the Stones relic trying to be all Pistols-esque and punk is cringeworthty enough. But to have Grohl sucking up at the same time makes it extra shite. It truly is an awful record, and Grohl crawling round Mick’s ancient jacksie is another in a long line of aging rock star sycophancy from the Foo Fighter.

* When I say Nirvana, I mean the scruffy 90s American slacker grunge cunts. Not the UK psychedelic 60s original Nirvana. They were great.

Nominated by: Norman

A Cunting please for this ridiculous hipster manufacturer of ice cream.

Ben and Jerry’s (B&J) has delusions of grandeur. In case you have forgotten, B&J is simply an ice cream company specialising in disgusting and childish iced concoctions like Double Chocolate Cookie Dough Twist, Caramel Chew-Chew, Truffle Kerfuffle and Peanut Butter Cup. The sort of glop that fat,12 year old glasses wearing American brats like to eat.

But B&J view themselves as being much more important than that. Their mission is to become the Woke company par-excellence and to instruct us mere unenlightened plebs on the burning issues of social and racial justice. Here are some examples of their recent pronouncements –

– After the killing of criminal recidivist Chiggin George last year, Ben & Jerry’s made a solemn pledge to help ‘dismantle white supremacy’. ‘Silence is NOT an option’, they thundered from on high.

– Last year, it castigated Pritti Patel over the Peaceful’s flotilla of Banana Boats illegally crossing the channel. ‘Hey @PritiPatel we think the real crisis is our lack of humanity for people fleeing war, climate change and torture. We pulled together a thread for you,’ it posted on Twitter. The thread consisted of a couple of points nicked from the Guardian, Huffpost and migration activists.

– In 2017, it banned the sale of two scoops of the same flavour in its Australian shops as some sort of symbolic protest against opponents of gay marriage.

– During the Trump presidency it put out a new flavour called Pecan Resist. B&J said ‘this flavour supports groups creating a more just and equitable nation for us all, and who are fighting President Trump’s regressive agenda

– After the recent police killing of Daunte Wright in Minnesota, the wise sages of B&J pronounced that “the murder of Daunte Wright is rooted in white supremacy and results from the intentional criminalisation of Black and Brown communities. This system can’t be reformed. It must be dismantled and a real system of public safety rebuilt from the ground up. #DefundThePolice.’

All this from a company that is part of the Unilever empire which flogs skin whitening cream around the world and has been criticised by migrant workers for exploitative practices in the firm’s supply chain.

What has any of this woke garbage got to do with ice cream? Why is it B&J’s business? Huge, wealthy companies that lecture us on wokeness are doing it to virtue signal and appear trendy. They think it will enhance sales but I think it will put off many consumers. I hope the cunts go bust.

I prefer Haagen Dazs anyway.

Nominated by: Marvellous Mechanical Cunting Machine

A serious nomination for Sherry Naidoo, 37, an absolute (drunken) bitch from hell who had a long history of violently abusing her partner Paul Jenner.

She injured him so badly he went to hospital. The courts gave her a slap on the wrist. The arresting officer warned that she would eventually kill him.

Back living together the shocking abuse continued. This time his head injuries were so severe he was rushed to addenbrookes. He appeared to be recovering and refused to press charges against her. Didn’t matter as the police had enough evidence including CCTV and witnesses. They were helping him to plan a new life when he deteriorated and died. Sherry Naidoo didn’t give a damn or show any remorse.

The police upped the charge from GBH to murder. The case went to court where the judge found that Naidoo had endured a tough upbringing and abuse from a previous relationship.

She was given 16 months.

I believe this horrendous case not only shows that domestic violence is not a one way street but also that women can literally get away with murder.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-56013182

https://www.bedfordshirelive.co.uk/news/bedfordshire-news/24-hours-police-custody-how-5290733

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss

What is it with people that mispronounce their words by adding an ‘r’ in an inappropriate place?

There are regional differences with words like ‘bath’ and ‘grass’ but what really pisses me off are the people that try to appear posh or intelligent by shoving an ‘r’ in a word where it simply doesn’t belong.

Newsreaders are the worst offenders, telling us about events in Parkistarn or Irarn. It’s spelt and pronounced Pakistan and Iran you thick cunts. Don’t newsreaders have producers? Why are they allowed to speak in such a way to the nation?

I was watching the BBC news when the stupid Indian looking woman insisted on using the word ‘plarstic’ when talking about crap in the oceans.

On a daytime antiques programme one presenter was going on about ‘alibarster’ from ‘Darmarscus’. He happens to be the same cunt that puts an ‘r’ in the word ‘off’ to pronounce it as ‘orf’. The silly cunt.

That fat, greedy pig Rick Stein was on a programme where he was in India. He kept going on about how tasty his ‘Mardras’ curry was.

Perhaps the most widely misused ‘r’ is from the complete wankers that order a ‘larteh’ in their overpriced coffee shops.

They are too thick to know that latte is Italian for milk and in Italian, like many languages, words are pronounced exactly as they are written.

Go into a café in Italy and ask for a ‘larteh’ and you may, after some confusion, be served with a glass of milk. What you won’t get is a coffee with milk, a Caffè latte.

Fucking pretentious is what it is, and the people that speak like this are all bastards!

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

I would like to nominate Fred Sirieix.

He has presented countless cooking programmes, the face of M&S Gastropub meal deals and is currently presenting Snackmasters on Channel 4 where chefs make reproduction Wagon Wheels which are then taste tested by people from Burton’s Biscuits. I am not joking.

This faux-French cunt looks like a dodgy general builder or plasterer and has, as far as I can see, no chefing abilities himself. His accent keeps dipping in and out of a Birmingham accent or something. An ugly, talentless, shite-hawk of the first order.

Nominated by: Anton Pillar