are cunts.

Hallo nochmal, meine kleinen Biertrinker

It all started quite a while ago
.
When there was an earthquake somewhere the news people would all say “… and that measured 5.6 on the Richter scale”.

Don`t know about you, but how many other fucking earthquake scales do you know? Now they just say “magnitude 5.6”– it took about 70 years for them to drop the `Richter` bit.

What has persisted though are a few annoyingly (to me) random phrases.

Cliché №1 – An area the size of Wales.

Unfortunately, I know where Wales is, but I have absolutely no fucking idea how big the thing is. But suppose this story was going out internationally; how many Americans would know what the size of Wales is? How many Americans would know where Wales is, for that matter? I suppose they could change it to “an area the size of Texas”. And we`re back to square one.

Cliché №2 – The weight of about 4 elephants.

African or Indian? Male or female? How many London double-decker buses does that equate to? As if suddenly the penny drops when they use that comparison – Ja!, it all makes sense, now I know how heavy that thing is when you compared it to the elephants!

I won`t go on, but I`m sure you catch my drift.

I do know this, though. Most of the Kinder who pass for `journalists` these days after doing a YouTube course via soshullmeeedia possess the journalistic knowledge of a whelk. Or, to put it another way, the knowledge all of them have could be all tattooed on the balls of an ant.

Poland, of course, is a different matter

bbcnews

Nominated by Adolph Schicklgrüüber, seconded by Geordie Twatt.

I would like to second Herr Schicklgruber’s nomination of Meaningless Dimensional Comparators with three of my own:

1. Football pitches
Flabbott’s/Nugee’s/Lizzo’s bloomers cover the same area as 14 football pitches.

2. Double decker buses end to end
Flabbott’s/Nugee’s/Lizzo’s bloomers would cover 50 double decker buses parked end to end.

3. Times around the world
The elastic from Flabbott’s/Nugee’s/Lizzo’s bloomers, stretched to its limit, would go 3 times round the world.

Pointless drivel churned out for those whose cerebral development came to a grinding halt in kindergarten, eh Adolph?

are cunts.

Check out the Temu croissant lamp:

tiktok

We’ve all bought Chinese knock off crap from the tiny men with fiendish yellow brains, or so I am told. But who would have imagined they would be dipping breakfast pastries in plastic and knocking them out for under a tenner? Brilliant.

Of course, any croissant lamp that uses an actual croissant is definitely a fake. A real croissant lamp costs around £90.00.

The possibilities for making a few quid seem limitless. Maybe one day there will be a cunt lamp…

Nominated by Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea.

We hear a lot about white supremacists. But it is pandering to the vocabulary of the left to not even ask what the fuck is a “white supremacist” never mind, by logical progression, what is a “black supremacist”? We just seem to have accepted that white is the only shade of supremacy.

Well, good news is at hand, and it turns out there are indeed black supremacists out there. And by any reasonable measure I’d say this kiddy-diddling 135 year stretch Islamic mentalist does black supremacy proud (if being noticed at all costs is the name of the game).

It’s a brief musing, but I suppose it can be summarised as: Black / White – turns out you can be a wrong ‘un whatever your complexion. Who knew!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwight_York

Nominated by: Balsamic Dave

The targetted killing of young girls dancing was definitely not a Terrorist Act.
Oh no. Certainly not. Perish the thought. Islam is religion of peace. Dont take my word for it, listen to the Imams and Justin Welsby.
Muslims would never do that. Good thing Kweer dealt with the rioters who had this mistaken idea.

Hang on. What’s this?:

”The teenager accused of murdering three young girls in Southport has been charged with producing the poison ricin and possessing a military study of an al-Qaeda training manual.”

al-Qaeda? That’s one of those Far Right groups isnt it? Doesnt Tommy Robinson (real name Yoko Ono) head it up?

The cops knew this on day one. The PM would certainly know. (Kweer Charmer)
So what was all this 2 tier justice about? Releasing sex offenders etc so that daft yobbos could do real time.

Fishy as fuck.

bbcnews

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.

Hold the front page for a cunting for everybody’s favourite pompous comic. It could only be The Guardian, whose editor is apparently offering “counselling” for staff upset by Donald Trump’s win.

What a snivelling bunch of bed wetters that paper must employ – they were lucky they were not around in the early 50s for the Korean war, or Aden in 1960, the 1962 Cuban missile crisis or the 1966 Aberfan disaster, or Hillsborough in 1989. Those events were more than “upsetting”

The staff must be very jejune if they find themselves unable to cope with the result of a democratic election. God knows what will happen when Kweer gets slung out in four or five years time.

This from a paper which forever pleads poverty and seeks donations from even casual readers.

The editor has missed a trick here – time was, when Saturday newspapers used to give away free CDs, or even books, or perhaps a voucher for £10 off at Tesco. This would have been an ideal opportunity to show their generosity to their readers – how about a free pair of rubber knickers attached to their otiose front page?

New York Post

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs