Wouldn’t, wouldn’t, wouldn’t, maybe, wouldn’t.

(Header pic slightly enlarged purely to check the quality of the sand and err… goal posts – Day Admin)

Booooooooooo! Come on, let’s hear a resounding ‘hissssssssssss!’ for the women’s beach handball team from Norway.

At a recent European Championship match, these killjoys refused to wear the regulation skimpy bikini bottoms, claiming that they were demeaning. They opted instead for something resembling a pair of your granny’s support knickers.

Handball Federation officials ruled that this was a case of ‘improper clothing’, and fined the team £130 per head (or should that be bum?).

Quite right too, in my opinion. One of the few sights worth watching in women’s sport is beach handball; ahhh… the sight of a tightly contoured bikini stretched across a pert, firm little bottom is a sight for sore eyes.

Now these mardy-arses have got the damned impertinence to question the wisdom and authority of the sport’s governing body, and you can bet that where they lead, others will follow. It’s nothing short of outrageous, and they should be slapped down on hard (as a public spirited citizen, I hereby volunteer my services to administer said discipline free of charge).

Come on ladies, stop arseing about and get those delicious derrieres back in the proper mode of display, and make an old man very happy. You know it makes sense; nobody loves a spoilsport.

Nominated by – Ron Knee

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/20/sports/norway-beach-handball-team.html

The BBC, my application for a job.

Hello fellow cunters I’ve decided to get on the good old BBC gravy train, the golden tit, why not every other cunt is doing it.

I fancy a Lineker grade salary and believe I’m worth more than what that jug eared cunt gets paid

Here’s my job application, any additions before I submit it will be welcome. If accepted which I very much doubt I’d see it past one episode but I can see a good amount of compo coming my way. Here goes.

Application for presenters job at the BBC.

1. I am right of centre
2. I am anti woke.
3. I’m anti quota both racial and gender. Jobs should be awarded on ability, not colour or gender.
4. I am pro Brexit.
5. I am pro Boris Johnson (with certain caveats). After all there’s fuck all opposition at the moment.
6. I am anti BLM and believe they should be classed as a terrorist organisation. BAN THEM.
7. I am anti extinction (stinking) Rebellion. They should be classed as an anti establishment Marxist organisation. BAN THEM.
8. I believe that reporting should portray both sides of the debate, not just the extreme left.
9. I am not a Socialist, or should I say Communist.
10. I believe that police numbers should be increased.
11. I believe that illegals should be deported, no questions asked. If they want to come here the cunts should apply through the proper channels.
12. Send the illegal boats back to France. No taxi service to the UK by RNLI, BORDER FORCE, NAVY OR ANY OTHER LEFTY WOKE ORGANISATION WHO MISTAKENLY PORTRAYS THEM AS REFUGEES.
13. I believe that Covid reporting should be balanced instead of the project doom reporting currently operated by the msm.
14. I am anti woke football players dropping to the knee. Strange how many non England players in Euro 20 who play in the premier league never took the knee, but will gladly do it in PL games. I think you can label these as fuckin virtue sinalling sheep, and that’s being kind.
15. I am anti non binary gender. These cunts need to understand, there is only two genders, MALE AND FEMALE.
16. Although I do not live I  London (thank fuckin god), I believe that little anti British shit rat Khan should be removed from office immediately. He’s a cunt destroying the capital.
17. The incompetent Met police commissioner (Dick by name, dick by action, but actual confirmed dyke ) should also be removed from office.
18 I firmly believe that the BBC should be defunded.

Although I have no previous experience of presenting I do hope you find my application and CV acceptable. However as a white privileged 60+ year old male I do realise that I have none of the essential requirements for employment at the BBC although I have to say I definitely could do a better and more representative job than most of the incuntbents currently on your station. I await your job offer.

Nominated by: DLP 

They go here link. Or look to your right on PC or menu bar if you’re using a phone. There won’t be any new Corona related nominations or discussion outside of that thread for the time being. Mainly because we’re fucking bored shitless of reading about it after 18 months.

Oh and as an added bonus, if you attempt to say for example turn the comments on a post about say bananas into the above. We’ll do a Paul Daniels on your comment.

Thanks. – DA

You want a cunt? I’ve got one. Charlotte Sunshine (I know?).

This daft bitch got the wrong order at McDonald’s. And apparently one bite of a chicken burger left her ‘traumatised’ ‘vomiting’ and ‘in tears’. An honest if daft mistake, obviously. And an apology and refund would normally close such a matter. But only with a normal person. The fuss this spoilt cow made about it is unbelievable. She was, of course, not so upset that she told every cunt on Twitter about it ad nauseum and expects special treatment, it appears an apology and refund isn’t good enough for this overgrown snowflake brat. Also, what’s a supposedly committed and lifelong vegan doing in McDonald’s anyway?

Typical luminous haired entitled millennial snowflake cunt. God, I fucking hate hippies.

MaccyD Customer Traumatised

Nominated by: Norman 

Seconded by: Dickie Dribbler

Seconded.

MaccyD have previous form for veggie order c*ck-ups. Dozy moo-moo should have looked to see what was in her bun before stuffing her face.

Vegan in burger shock

Vegan given wrong meal at MaccyD

Should have offered her a free bacon double cheeseburger to rub it in.

First off, mental health is a serious thing and can affect all of us at some point.

However, I’m noticing a recent trend for sports people deciding to quit when the going gets tough.

Imagine being an Olympic selector? You choose the athletes carefully. There will be calls made to those that didn’t quite make it. There will be tears. Perhaps some real mental health issues as athletes miss out on their dreams, despite a life of sacrifice?

Those are not calls I would want to make.

Imagine then, in a team competition at the Olympics, one of your athletes does not do well (not terribly, just not so well) in their first event (with others to follow in a much needed points hunt).

And then quits. It’s too much. Mental elf innit? She’s got to think about herself, not everyone else (more or less what was said here).

Now, if she was genuinely losing it to the point she was totally unable to perform, then fair enough.

I’m just getting the vibe that people nowadays are becoming so soft that a bit of pressure and they walk away.

Fucking quitting? In the Olympics early on in a team event? Fuck off!

And they get praise for doing this shit, by the way. Maybe why they do it?

Imagine if Sir Bobby Moore, back in ’66 said during the final, “I’m too young to be taking this pressure Boss, please substitute me now.”

Bloody heck! Just wouldn’t happen, would it? And he wouldn’t have been deemed brave either, even if we’d won in the end!

Being a great sportsperson is not just about ability. Or even what you’ve won in the past. It’s about showing bottle when the chips are down. Remember Ben Stokes knowing one tiny mistake and the Ashes series was lost? The cunt had to survive alone with the last choice batsman (a bowler) for hours and score heavily. Against the best bowling attack in the world. That was fucking bottle. We had no fucking hope it seemed, but belief and strong will pulled off a sporting miracle.

Can’t be doing with sporting quitters, sorry.

Link

Nominated by – Cuntybollocks

And then there’s this from Field Marshal Cuntgomery

Playing the mental health card when things aren’t going your way. Particularly, as recently seen in sport.

I know this is a sensitive issue for some, so let me explain why it boils my piss. Two years ago I popped round to see a cousin of mine, only to find him hanging from the loft hatch. He’d been dead for a day or two. He left a lengthy note explaining his reasons. Reasons far more important than not playing tennis very well or not being in the medals at the Olympics.

People like Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka play the mental health card and get all the plaudits for being brave and coming out, but these things never occur when they are winning.

Maybe I’m just a cynical old bastard, but it just seems to be a cover all phrase to mask a bad day at the office. We all do jobs that get us down and they can lead to serious issues. If that’s the case, most people re assess and get out, try something different.

It just seems to me that if they can’t get glory for winning, they try to get glory for being “brave”. Crying wolf is not going to help the poor fuckers with real problems in the long term.
Brave Mental Health Olympians

And yet more from – mystic maven

Simone Biles of the US Olympic team, who has dropped out because the whole experience has become too stressful.

Biles said on Tuesday: “It’s been really stressful these Olympic Games, not having an audience. It’s been a long week, a long Olympic process, a long year. We are just a little bit too stressed out. We should be out here having fun.

“I feel like I’m also not having as much fun and this Olympic Games I wanted it to be for myself and it felt like I was still doing it for other people. It hurts my heart that doing what I love has been taken away from me to please other people.”

I’m still trying to decipher what the fuck she’s talking about
Anyway, what a mard-arse, previous generations would have had a backbone and got on with it. She’ll no doubt become some kind of iconic heroine for being a failure.

And another, this time from Cock Blanket

Simone Biles…….

I can’t escape the feeling that this BLACK, FEMALE athlete is pulling the mental health card because she failed at the recent Olympics and can’t take failure. Instead she insists that her performance is due to her mental health. Just another attention seeking wanker jumping on the mental health bandwagon.

Obviously the BBC has jumped on this with both feet. News stories all over about this revelling how proud EVERONE is about her. I am not fucking proud so leave me out of it. If it turns out she is a lesbian too then the BBC will no doubt commission a statue in her honour.

Fuck off. You had a bad day and you were shite. Stop blaming it on mental health as that is the easy get out choice at the moment.

Fuck you and fuck the Olympics.