Category Archives: David Cameron

Twatman and Robin’

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osborne fox

Bugger me, now we start to see the true cut orf the jib orf the first outright Tory majority government for twenty three years. True blue at last? All I see is a red mist rising. Democracy? Under Cameron and Osborne we have a job share dictatorship. There is no cabinet government, just a secret stitch-up by two silver spoon lower ranks cunts. Duncan Smith’s frenzied self abuse during the announcement orf the Minimum Wage by Osborne was evidently a genuine reaction because it was news to him and the rest orf the Government tossers. Shot Labour’s prize fox with that move no doubt but I have absolutely no intention orf paying the inbred deviants that toil upon my a land a ha’penny more. Would destroy at a stroke a delicate rural economy that has relied for generations upon dependency and exploitation.

Inland Revenue given the strongest powers in the Western World to go and directly plunder the bank accounts orf honest hard working punters whom they allege owe a spot orf back tax. Despite massive trails that they would scupper this, the cunts have unleashed the overpaid blood suckers orf the bastard BBC. Any poor old bugger omitting to pay the draconian licence fee for the 24 hour unmitigated shite that passes for alleged programming these days will be committing a criminal offence and clapped up in the chokey at a time when prison suicides and assaults have reached an all time high due to tight arse Osborne’s cutbacks. Must declare me interest here, have never paid this despicable tax upon the culture orf the nation and at my age this has been legal for a good few years.

Once again the shite arsed SNP have proved to be first rate cunts representing a third rate race and shot me fucking fox. Cameron had been forced by his rural constituency to introduce a dodge whereby hunting returns to the countryside (not that it ever really left you bleeding heart liberal cunts) only for the Quisling cunt to lose his bottle in double quick time and withdraw the bill amendment in the face orf the SNP threatening to vote against the proposition which applied to England only. “English Votes for English Laws!” There’s more prospect of yours truly shagging Prince Charlie’s missus that that ever happening.

For the avoidance orf doubt let me state that your humble servant does not ride to hounds. Me old arse is now grown too heavy in the saddle and what with me haemorrhoids….takes a younger man.
Make no qualms about the sport. Spot orf bloodlust and savagery has been an Englishman’s birth right for many generations. Pleasure to watch a pair orf well trained hounds in action. Once the terrier men have flushed oit old Reynard, lead hound will nip in and grab his nose while number two takes a good old grip orf his bollocks. Then they do their best to pull foxy apart while some orf the older dogs come in and rip oit his guts. Don’t ‘alf steam on a cold and frosty morning. Blood spattered all over and old Reynard still making a game orf it. Old Reynard does himself no favours screaming away, only gets the dogs blood up. In come the terrier men and despatch him with a few whacks orf their shovels while the dogs finish pulling him apart. Then I like to get in and cut oit his liver before any other bugger gets to it.

Foxes liver? Highly prized in our circles. Dried and powdered down makes a profoundly effective laxative. Many is the cunt that has wandered in to our parts and been offered an extra topping orn his pizza in the pub. Half the village will look on waiting for the outsider cunt to erupt in a monstrous Vesuvius orf shite. Who would deny us our simple country pleasures?

Also you bleeding heart liberal cunts fail to appreciate the social function orf the occasion. The terrier men would be doing life in Strangeways if it were not for the distraction and gainful employ afforded by the hunt.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Tory supporters

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In the interests of balance, I’d like to cunt moronic thick-as-shit Tory supporters who fell for the barefaced lies and baseless scaremongering of an overpaid Aussie election strategist instead of looking at the evidence.

The Tory spending plans had been dismissed by the Institute for Fiscal Studies as the most innumerate and un-costed of all the major parties. Gideot The Towel Folder failed to give an answer to how his NHS commitments would be funded despite being asked almost twenty times. IDS didn’t consider it “relevant” or “appropriate” to explain to the electorate what they would be voting for. When asked by Paxman, Chicken Dave hadn’t a clue about the level of UK borrowing – sheer arrogant incompetence from the party allegedly presenting itself as the party of fiscal responsibility.

“We delivered all our 2010 commitments and I’m proud of that” lied Cameron when everyone should have remembered the VAT rises and cuts to EMA and Child Support he implemented after categorically denying that he would do so during the 2010 campaign. “The NHS is safe with us,” lied Cameron, when even former Tory Cabinet Ministers admit that the Conservatives have to deceive the electorate over their plans to dismantle and privatise the NHS or they’d never get elected.

The Tory narrative of “Labour’s recession” was another barefaced lie (Labour did not cause the global financial crash that has affected so many other countries even more deeply than the UK), as is the ridiculous idea that the UK was “going the way of Greece”. Chicken Dave’s rather pathetic waving around of the Liam Byrne “No money left” note should have been easily dismissed as a fifty year old in-joke at the Treasury (as Chicken Dave and Gideot surely knew it to be) which had actually originated with a TORY Chancellor in 1964. The “backstabbing” story was yet another lie – if you and your sibling go for the same job, why should there be an assumption that one is automatically more entitled than the other?

Now we all know the SNP are irredeemable cunts, but Chicken Dave spent the entire indyref begging the UK to stick together, bleating about the union he loves, then having got the result he wanted, proceeded to shaft the Scots and spent the entire election campaign demonising them to such an extent that independence is now just a matter of time. Given that the Tory campaign centred around scaremongering about the break up of the union, it’s slightly fucking ironic that Chicken Dave will go down in history as the PM who put the nail in the coffin of the union by prioritising Tory lust for power ahead of everything else. Not quite the legacy he was hoping for, I’d bet. I wonder if the Queen is “purring” now?

Of course, the Labour campaign team are massive cunts too for failing to effectively rebut the kind of crass lies that even a child could recognise, but the Tory cunts who fell for that crap need their fucking heads examined. But then these are the sort of cunts who trust the Daily Mail to provide an objective assessment of the facts, so I guess they get what they fucking deserve.

Nominated by: Fred West

David Cameron [17]

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David Cameron is a spineless, hypocritical, lying, scaremongering cunt.

A cunt too scared to debate his record of failure that he chickens out of debating head-to-head with what ought to be an absolute pushover of an opponent. This smug, entitled, Bullingdon Club cunt has the audacity to allege that he kept all his promises from 2010 when he did no such thing (why has the 2010 “Contract between the Conservative Party and you” mysteriously disappeared from the Tory website and archive?). This brazen cunt lies every time he opens his mouth, hides behind the Daily Mail and The Sun (both cunted previously) and only pops up now and then to cuddle a lamb (immediately prior to its Halal slaughter no doubt) or to try to attract sympathy by endlessly mentioning his dead son, like the desperate and cynical cunt that he is.

Ken Clarke recently said that all the Tory personal attacks and dirty tracks would backfire on them. And even former Conservative Minister Portillo (has he been cunted? And if not, why not?) admits that the Tories have to lie about their intentions for the NHS otherwise they wouldn’t stand a chance of getting elected:

David Cameron, former PR man for Carlton TV, is a cunt par excellence. He, Miliband and Clegg represent all that is wrong with politics – no convictions, no credibly costed policies, no credible positive messages, just glib spin, infantile scaremongering and barefaced lies. They are all cunts who treat the electorate with utter contempt, but in my opinion Cameron just edges it by virtue of his arrogant sense of entitlement.

Nominated by: Fred West

The Ebola response

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Been greatly arsed by the cunt Cameron’s customarily incompetent response to the Ebola thing. HMG hopping from foot to foot while trying to toss itself orf. Usual arrogant assumptions that the NHS can cope, that border controls will spot any diseased swartzer trying to sneak into the country ect ect. Like bugger hell they will. Remember that these are the same dismal twats that nearly fucked the Union. Tell tell signs orf Ebola are red eyeballs and vomiting and border staff are going to tell these cunts apart from pissed punters returning from an all inclusive all you can drink holiday?

As hordes of diseased African cunts try to come into the country we are sending large numbers orf our troops and NHS staff over to Bugger Bugger Land where they will duly become infected and be brought back here to have every opportunity to spread the virus. On top of all this there are any number orf Christian Missionaries pouring into the region hoping that sporting a pair of Marigolds, a face mask and an erection will protect them if their prayers do not. Now call me an old soldier and an old cunt but thought that the classic way to bring an epidemic under control is to contain it and let it burn itself out.

Point is the jaspers are used to this kind orf thing. They consider a spot orf plague or Deng virus as a natural form orf birth control. All very tragic, every sympathy ect ect but Africa requires its pestilences to keep it vast populations in check. Then the next step is inoculation followed by castration.

You know it makes sense.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke
Sent from my cheapo chinko crappo smartmoneyphone

(…and that Jeremy Hunt’s a cunt too. Ed.)

The Special Relationship

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hareth85-2124337

How about a double cunting? Barak Obama and David Cameron both deserve it after yesterday, I reckon. A journalist is murdered by a cowardly cocksucker, who doesn’t even have the guts to show his face. Both O’Barmy and Camoron come back from holiday, briefly, to mouth the usual bullshit, and then they fuck off back on holiday.

Now I know some may think that holiday is the best place for both of them. But this pair are supposed to be leaders of their respective countries. And with situations like this their place is back at the seat of government, leading their countries. As it was, Camoron fucked off to Cornwall to finish his THIRD holiday this year, and FIFTEENTH since he entered Downing Street. And O’Barmy literally went from the press conference to the fucking golf course. Nothing says ‘FUCK YOU’ like picking up a five iron.

Even for politicians, this pair have been as much use as a fart in a lift. And they’re not even the worst we’ve had.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw