“Hey granpaw, sez hayer thit they’s mekkin’ uh noo ‘Indiana Jones’ movie!”.
“Wassat, sonny?”.
“Ah sayeed THEY’S MEKKIN’ UH NOO ‘INDIANA JONES’ MOVIE!”.
“Land sakes boy, ain’t no need ta yell. Ah ain’t deef!”.

Well I suppose that Hollywood being Hollywood, the land of sequels, franchises and reboots, they just couldn’t leave well alone. Indy’s last outing was over ten years ago, the “Crystal Skull” farce, but it made a shed load of dosh. Now Steven Spielberg says that a new “Indy” is in the works, with a scheduled release date of July 2022.

There’s been talk of casting a new actor as Indy, but Spielberg says that Harrison Ford is such an iconic presence that nobody else could possibly fill his boots. I can understand the reasoning, but there’s just one small problem. We all expect Indy to do stuff like jump out of burning planes, get dragged along behind speeding trucks, and generally kick shit out of Nazis, commies, and other badhats. By the time the film hits the screen, Harry will be eighty; it won’t be so much a case of whether he can still swing that bullwhip with zest, but whether he can manage to swing by the post office to pick up his old age pension.

The new film is provisionally titled “Indiana Jones 5”. May I respectfully suggest to the producers that it be called “Indiana Jones and the Last Zimmer Frame” when released. It sort of sounds appropriate for a last sad attempt to squeeze more out of their cash cow. Come on guys, this just doesn’t fly for me. Knock it on the head before you embarrass yourselves.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

A quick cunting for the prick next door and every other fucker who thinks it’s a great idea to have a bonfire in their garden.

This time of year, the windows are open, freshly washed clothes on the washing line and we’re happily sat outside enjoying the weather. What the fuck, my house will fucking stink for days, I’ve got to re-wash the clothes and we can’t sit outside any more. Just take it down the tip mate, they are open now.

What a complete and inconsiderate cunt. Just had to get that one off me chest.

Nominated by: Cunty mcfuckwit

I am indebted to Mrs. Boggs for pointing this article out to me That said, she deserves a cunting for reading this site on a daily basis, but I won’t do it myself as itmight make me go blind.

The site in question is called “Digital Spy” where fat lazy workshy idiots (but enough now of Mrs. Boggs) foregather at all hours of the day and night to emote.

The latest object of their tears was the occassion, thispast week, of the last of the present series of Eastenders. Their fans have been in mourning for some time now since th enumber of transmitted episodes has been halved to try to keep it on air. Sadly this week thet reached the end of the road – reason enough for wailing and weeping, but three simple words pushed some of the cunts over the edge:

https://www.digitalspy.com/soaps/eastenders/a32891678/eastenders-hidden-final-message-hiatus/

A good job these soy boys and daft trollops were not such devout fans of Are You Being Served>, since God knows what would have happened on the last episode when they saw the caption:

“You have been watching”

Seriously there is so much in real life to be worried about, upset about – surely the temporary absence of one insignificant show shouldn’t cause such trauma.

Bring back Crossroads.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

Recession, recession, recession.

It comes as no surprise to learn that now that lockdown rules are being gradually lifted and the country is very slowly returning to some form of “new normality”, the media have been focusing their myopic attention on the economy – specifically the predicted rise in unemployment with industries big and small closing for good, and that somehow this is all Boris’ fault!

In this litigious age, if I end up injured due to tripping over a kerb stone on the High Street, or I break a fingernail at my place of work, I can sue using those “No Win: No Fee” cunts.

So why is it this government isn’t doing the same with the Dinks and their fucking pandemic virus which has wiped out 100,000s of people across the world, cost trillions of pounds and caused great pain and misery for all etc. And yet they seem to be getting a free pass when it comes to the blame game!

So not only are we heading for a Mother/Father/Non-Binary of all recessions, that the taxpayer will have to somehow pay for over the next 10-20 years, but the Dinks won’t be held accountable for any of it!

How the fuck does that work then?

Nominated by: Technocunt