Hello, hello, hello, what do we have here then? – well the answer – officer – is a group of self appointed nosy parkers and curtain twitchers who “could be council employees or volunteers” who will take it upon themselves to prance and mince down the street telling us stupid common people what to do:

https://uk.yahoo.com/news/what-are-coronavirus-compliance-officers-161118381.html

Yes, old Maureen from Forward Planning, or old Bert the council lavatory attendant, will be on parade, with a friendly, but firm and authoritative word to tell us about hand sanitizer or social distancing – fuck it, even Asda the low rent supermarket (part of the Walmart “fam-i-lee”) is leaping aboard the bandwagon from Monday employing their own version of the meddlers, to keep the proles in order.

Who are these self important fuckwits, who think they have the right to meddle and interfere?. Jumped up little nobodies, a bit like those obese doormen at clubs, who wanted to be a policeman, but were too fat to do so, people who want to “do good” without having to contribute anything of value. It reminds me of Tony Hancock when he became a blood donor “Do we get a badge for doing this?. Nothing pretentious – just a little enamel thing, just to show we are do-gooders, with something like “he gaveth for others, so that others might live” – that sort of thing”

If one of these motherfuckers have a friendly word for me, I will have an unfriendly one for them – CUNT.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

(Can we have some BLM, XR and Dinghy Marshalls please? No, thought not. – DA)

and seconded by Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler 

Little Hitlers

I went to pick up a couple of things at my local Co-op yesterday….it’s a small shop so they have to limit how many are allowed in at any one time. So I queued up and dutifully put my face-nappy on when I got to the head of the queue. The shop’s traffic-light system isn’t working (don’t think it ever has) so they had some middle-aged trout stood on the door letting people in…when a bloke came out, I assumed that it would be alright for me to go in…apparently not…the old Bag fair screamed at me “Wait until I tell you that it’s safe to enter”. I didn’t take this well…as I told the bitch,I hadn’t let anyone speak to me like that since I was a child and I’d be damned if some self-important harridan would be the one to get away with it…anyhow,to cut a long story short,I took my custom elsewhere.

I suspect that as we get more of Johnson’s snoopers and busybodies that there’ll be trouble. People are getting sick of petty little nobodies who are relishing the chance to tell people what to do. I’m certainly not advocating violence (as in yesterday’s “wear your mask” nom.),but there are a lot of people who have just about had enough of tinpot “Covid heroes” enforcing the rules of that economy-wrecking,pathetic Old Woman in No.10.

A ‘We have done it again’ cunting for the Mercury Music Prize.

I am sure it will be no surprise to the fellow cunters that the prize has been won by Michael Kiwanuka, never heard of him, neither have I but he is a black solo artist.

So why is it no surprise, well it’s because 5 of the last 6 winners have been black solo artists, and Michael Kiwanuka‘s album ticks the right boxes as the tracks are about oppression, experience of young black Britons and civil rights.

Fuck me, if the prize had been won by white artists 5 of the last 6 years there would be cries of racism, but of course if black people are disproportionately favoured it cannot be racist init!

Maybe the the Mercury Prize cunts should be reported to the equalities commission, utter fucking Cunts!

Nominated by: Sick of it 

Is it just me or does Tangos COVID test require a cunting?

At the prime he can come out gloves off and belt any cunt that he has access to are his reigns not pulled for him to take a Jerry Bruckheimer style exit from the Whitehouse after promoting the nurse with the Double D rack for saving his life and getting a few pics off a resuscitator he borrowed from Boris?

The deafening chant of We Beat this, Highway to the Danger zone Flames and smoke in the background as he walks down the Whitehouse steps well blanketing his forgetful tax returns or the bad press from giving Skeleton a hiding at the debate.

On a positive note, should it be genuine and he gets a view of heavens door and returns, he could sign the order to evaporate Wuhan, on a combined Top Gun, Armageddon ending.

Nominated by: King Cunt

..and seconded by Lord of the Rings 

Trumps ‘Positive’ Covid test announcement ( & timing therof )

I have little time for ‘the Left’ – nor do I wish Donald Duck harm from Covid – mainly because, I think that is… utter horse shit !
Stick with me here…..

I know Trump has quite a few supporters on here, but forget politics, agendas & all that. I speak as I find. Now Trumps one redeeming feature may be that he attacks the left – but that aside, the twat has nothing else going for him. (his best feature is that he doesn’t run the UK).

A self-obsessed egomaniac, convinced the world revolves around him.
He has no time, interest, empathy, for anyone other than himself. He surrounds himself with sychophants, lackeys & yes men. Anyone who says anything ‘nice’ or positive about him is doing a great job & is a great guy. Anyone who disagrees or criticises him in any way is useless, a phony & terrible. A habitual liar, who can’t even keep track of the truth. Any policy or viewpoint that serves his interest is all he cares about. (forget he’s President for a minute. If he worked in your factory or office, how long would it be before you wanted to throw him out of a fucking window?)

Now, at the recent debate, neither him or Biden covered himself in glory. (I personally think Biden one of the least deserving candidates to seek office of the President) It is generally thought that Trump came off worse, with his rantings & threats that any election that doesn’t declare him winner must be fixed & therefore, invalid.
What is certain, is that many US voters don’t think he has handled managing the virus well, that too many Americans are dying, and that this is a good issue for the Democrats.

Imagine my surprise, when it gets announced by social media, that Trump has Covid. Cue 2 days non-stop headlines & news coverage about Trump (he craves attention). Democrats cannot be seen to be attacking him on Covid, as he is a ‘victim’ of the virus, his life may hang in the balance…. Bullshit !
Trump will emerge from this unaffected, full of vigour, with a ‘only had very mild symptoms & kept working the whole time’ narrative.

Cue, a non-ending vindication of his Covid stance & policies. Covid is no concern – all schools should be open – all businesses working – 2021 will be a great year for the USA – provided you leave me in charge, because I’m the best President ever, I’m so smart & so sucessful, I’m wonderful.

Half of America could drop dead, & it won’t affect Trump one bit. In fact, he would take credit for lower government spending & lower unemployment & crime rates – he’s that much of a Cunt.

The board of the Nobel Prize.

I actually thought April fools day had come early when I first read it. But no, unless this is some kind of troll, it’s true. Vladimir Putin, that nasty, corrupt, Dobby the elf looking motherfucker, with a fetish for poisoning his enemies and then not having the guts to admit it, has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. What the actual fuck?

This wretched piece of shit, who has to rely on photos of him topless on horseback to show Russians how macho he is, and has done exactly NOTHING to further the cause of peace, is up for the award.

I shouldn’t be surprised really, considering Barack Obama actually won one, just weeks after coming to office, for doing exactly fuck all.

And let’s not forget, that annoying little Swedish gobshite, Greta Thumbnail received a nomination for publicly spouting off on a subject she knows less about than I know about the back end of Mercury.

Trump has also been nominated, but he has actually done something recently to help bring peace to the middle east. He won’t get it though, because the woke cunts who make the decisions hate him more than they hate the Flu Manchu.

Alfred Nobel would be spinning in his grave if he knew just much of a parody of itself the prize named after him has become.

What a bunch of cunts.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw 

Order! Order!,

Greetings pop-pickers hows about a there’s-no-fool-like-an-old-fool cunting for the 88 years young Beast of Bolsover, who is encouraging his disciples to get him into the top 40.

A song has been written for and about him, and Jeremy Steptoe-Corbyn amongs others was keen that you should download it before midnight last night (which explains why I put temptation out of your way till this morning):

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1339252/Jeremy-corbyn-news-labour-party-dennis-skinner-song-uk-top-40-music-chart

You will see that this shaming load of wank has a contribution from not only John McDonnell, but also Richard Burgon, two of the biggest wankers in Steptoe’s shadow cabinet. I am just surprised Tom Watson, another self-satisfied failure didn’t join in on his ukulele.

Good is NOT the word.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

(I thought this old relic kicked the bucket years ago! – DA)