Last few days ive felt a bit tired,
The akita gets me up early,
Few big jobs on,
But felt low energy.
Woke up this morning and one side of my face had swollen up!
Looked like fuckin Popeye!
Abcess.
Had them before, they poison your blood, can be pretty bad if left untreated.
Fuckin teeth the treacherous bastards, so been the dentist who was about 12yrs and he told me in his expert opinion it was a abcess
So on antibiotics and cant touch alcohol for 7days, then get the tooth yanked,
Ive more fingers than teeth,
I fell asleep sat upright before
At bleeding teatime,
Abcesses are poisoners like the Russians.
They are truly cunts.

(Thanks for making me look through a ton of gross disgusting pictures – NA)

Nominated by: Miserable Northern Cunt

An urgent, XXXJug-eared cunting for Mike Craven-Todd, whose auricular flaps would make St. Gary jealous. This psycho-eyed, with more than a slight hint of the diddler about him twat keeps popping up bemoaning the fact that he has to go to shitehole cuntries to watch the appalling sights – kiddies drinking polluted water; this natuwally makes him vewy angwy. Vewy vewy angwy indeed. Apparently every two minutes we don’t send dosh to WaterAid, some junior aspiring architect dies. In this season of goodwill, I persuade fellow cunters to do as I have done – namely to sit back, make obscene gestures at the screen, and put £2- in my own Christmas box, towards a bottle or three of Balfour’s sparkling white from the Coop.
(nb: Lady HBelinda does not sit on the Coop board. Nor does she sit on any of their faces)

Nominated by: HBelindaHubbard

Amazon, their Staff and Drivers.
A Yuletide cunting for these cunts please. A new Amazon depot has opened near Cunty towers. Hmm you think so what? Well the drivers cannot follow the highway code for a start.Any turning off the road, blocked by a fucking Amazon van. Ask them nicely to move fuck off. There are a set of traffic lights at the depot, Yours turn green, some cockwomble is coming out on a red light. I was always told that red meant stop, silly me.
Next onto the staff, long fence behind the bus stop, diamond link fencing. Where do you think the Coffee cups go? Yup you got it in the fucking fence. A veritable new plastic artwork, done by fucking Amazon’s monkeys.
Who do you think clears this artwork up, you’ve got it the fucking council.
Why the fuck they (the council) don’t get the useless fucking rozzers to prosecute the cunts, fuck only knows
Must finish now before my bladder bursts under the pressure of my piss boiling.

Nominated by: CuntyMort

Added to by: Norman…

Oh, and never order a 12′ record or LP from Amacunts. It’s packed in a flimsy plastic bag and loads of other crap is put on top of it in the van. Said record arrives with dog eared sleeve. Complete bollocks.

…and talking of Amazon, here’s one from Cuntologist 

Black Friday on Amazon

Don’t see any amazing deals just a few quid off tat I don’t need that still seems expensive for what it is.

The Black Friday home page is currently proudly displaying ‘0ver 30% off Giant Toblerone 4.5kg Jumbo Bar for £44.99, was £73.99.’ Do I want it? No, that’s nearly 50 quids worth of chocolate. Ridiculous!

Do I want £20 off an Echo Dot? No, little spying machine fuck off. I’ve got two legs and two hands, happy to select my own channel or look up the weather or whatever.
Do I want a Shark vacuum cleaner that was £350 and is now almost £200? No, still too expensive for something that sucks up dust.

Bah humbug to it all.

Also piling in on Amazon is General Tso’s Chiggun:

I would like to nominate packaging. I picked up a weighted blanket in Amazon’s Black Friday Week sale to help with my sleep, which arrived today. And, lo and behold, it is packaged in not one, but TWO separate boxes, both sellotaped tighter than a nun’s cunt. What is the fucking point of that?

This is a mystic meg type nom, because it hasnt happened yet.
Brexit negotiations are nearly out of time,
That nice mr Barnier is pushing for fishing quotas to be reviewed every 10years,
Emanuel Microbe is demanding access to UK fishing waters.
British fishermen were at the heart of the fight for Brexit,
Their industry has been suffering for years.
I respect fishermen, a dangerous job,
And I want them to be the only ones fishing our shores.
What Im cunting is Boris & co selling them out, and he will,
Hes fuckin poison !
Hes not said anything about our fishing industry an thats fishy in its own right.
The only time a tory minister goes near a trawler is in the hope of sucking a fisherman’s friend.
Not betrayed them yet, but like Michael J Fox ive seen the future and Boris sticks up his fish fingers at our fishing industry.

Nominated by: Miserable Northern Cunt

…and talking of fishy French froggy cunts, here’s one from W. C. Boggs 

The EU

The fascist cunts are well up for another cunting. After their blackmail, their tantrums, not least from the oldest but smallest toddler on the plant, Macron, and their obscene demands for money then more money, to add insult to injury they are now “demanding” a review in ten years time:

https://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/1364223/brexit-news-fishing-eu-trade-deal-michel-barnier-boris-johnson-news-latest

Every time I see that wankstain Barnier mincing round in his fucking daft EU face mask, I see some minor petty Nazi officer swaggering round displaying his swaztika, which is exactly what the EU trade mark is to Britain. Fuck the lot of the conniving self serving, corrupt cunts.

I’d like to find out which complete and utter vagina decided to start all this bollocks about a “Transgender remembrance day”.

I mean, really ! Fuck right off. You people are nothing more than oxygen thieves, filling up the interwebby with your infantile dross.

Fucking cunts.

(You just couldn’t make this shit up. It’s real. We checked – NA)

Nominated by: Sick of Cunts