Abcesses


Last few days ive felt a bit tired,
The akita gets me up early,
Few big jobs on,
But felt low energy.
Woke up this morning and one side of my face had swollen up!
Looked like fuckin Popeye!
Abcess.
Had them before, they poison your blood, can be pretty bad if left untreated.
Fuckin teeth the treacherous bastards, so been the dentist who was about 12yrs and he told me in his expert opinion it was a abcess
So on antibiotics and cant touch alcohol for 7days, then get the tooth yanked,
Ive more fingers than teeth,
I fell asleep sat upright before
At bleeding teatime,
Abcesses are poisoners like the Russians.
They are truly cunts.

(Thanks for making me look through a ton of gross disgusting pictures – NA)

Nominated by: Miserable Northern Cunt

40 thoughts on “Abcesses

  1. Fucking hell, MNC, this is revolting. Fucking great sacs of puss, searing agony, blood all over the place. Sounds more like the inside of No 10 than your mouth!

    Get well soon.

  2. Had one once, small spanish dentist said couldn’t pull it, anesthetic wont work because of the pus. Try it I said, didnt work pretended it did. Tooth out felt everything, had the shakes and a gob full of pus. 2 days later right as rain. He knew, didn’t charge me.
    Still less pain than when I tried to bite a granite curb stone, what a cunt, they were the daze!

  3. I could say I feel your pain mnc but thank fuck I can’t. You can have my sympathy because they are painful cunts.

  4. Fucking fairy.
    Get a grip man. You sound like an Islington snowflake. You wont get PTSD treatment round your way.
    When I get an abscess I chew stones and gravel and gargle with hot diesel oil. Hard as fuck.

  5. Probably the first symptom of some Sexually Transmitted Disease…Galloping Knob Rot,possibly?

  6. You on antibiotics, Miserable? Doncha know they can compromise your immune system?!

    Antibiotics are a far greater threat to humanity than vaccines.

    I had an abcess once. Fucking nightmare. Thank Dog for experts and drugs.

    Expect you’re okay by now, so probably not much point saying “get well soon”….

    • PS: Surprised you allowed your body temple to be violated in such a fashion. 😃

  7. 3 years ago I had my first ever tooth removed – cracked it years ago gritting my teeth in the gym and it ended up cracking all the way down (the first world horror of it!) – we did not get sweets as kids and my Mother used to lecture us all – “you’ll thank me when you’re 50 and you still have all your own teeth”.
    And we all have – fair play Mother!
    And no money from the tooth fairy – I think the dentist pocketed that but as she was Indian and beautiful I decided not to complain!
    Salt washes work – they taste nasty but dull the pain until the appointment – and don’t forget to put the bill in MNC – you should be covered against essential treatment which is needed for you to continue working.

    • It was only once because I had a craving for a mars bar.
      Doesn’t make me ‘funny’
      Don’t be such a bitch Ducky.
      🤪

  8. A slight digress for mnc pain, but, has anyone else noticed a google search for this site now no longer comes up first. It now appears on the second page? censorship.. ??

    Back to your pain mnc get pissed is my recommendation.

    • Yeah I noticed that. I’ve got round it by bookmarking the site, got an icon to press on my front screen now, much easier.
      Guessing we might not get many new recruits now.
      Google cuntery for sure.

    • That’s interesting.

      I put “Everyonesacunt is a cunt” into my google search and Is A Cunt came up on the first page.

  9. Having suffered these in the past, you have my full sympathy MNC.

    Although you can’t hit the booze, may I suggest holding an amount of gin over the affected area in your mouth. It has a numbing / antibacterial effect.

    You have to spit it out though. Sorry.

    • Cheers Odin,
      Already on it, whisky though.
      Alcohol cleans it, numbs it,
      What theyd do in the old days i presume.
      👍

  10. I had one when I was in my early twenties.
    It was fucking agony. A pal Harry, ex para and fucking tough of nails, managed to get me an emergency appointment with a former para mate of his, now running his own, small dental practice.
    I turned up at 6.am on Sunday morning, he was doing this as a favour to Harry.
    He turned up in tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt and was not best pleased, as he was supposed to be doing a bit of rock climbing, so he didn’t want to fuck about.
    He took a look and said that I should have had antibiotics-but if i wanted it out, he was happy to do it.
    He also said, you look like a tough boy, no need for pain relief. Then proceeded to remove my infected molar.
    It was excruciating, but as a badger of honour, I had to suck it up.
    14 stone of ex-para sprawled on top of me, hammer and chisel and pliers😥.
    My t-shirt resembled a butches apron.
    Harry phoned me a few days later to inform me that his mate said I was alright, for a pussy!😂
    Gotta love ex-forces👍

  11. Toothache – if I was God , I’d have left that out of creation.

    How nice of him to let Dentists make a living. Not a Cunt at all.

    • The old magic sky fairy is a cunt, but Isn’t a total cunt, in all fairness and assuming he actually exists, he also provided us with gallon bottles of B.P. grade puremEthanol in the lab, and bottles of near lethal overpriced Absinthe in the off-licenses to flush out the infection and deal with the pain of toothache.

      Poitín also works well, if you can stomach the taste that is, and if you can also persuade them to supply you with the stuff that is between 70-90% alcohol instead of the usual watered down 30-40% piss they peddle, in fact, any spirits above 70% should be fine (though, in my case, and despite the monicker, this excludes Vodka…something about nearly killing myself with the stuff back in my dickhead student days has put me right off it for nearly 40 years now…)

      • You are Withal and I demand £5 work of the finest wines available to humanity.
        Demand them now!!!

      • You are Withail and I demand £5 work of the finest wines available to humanity.
        Demand them now!!!

  12. Get the tooth pulled MNC it’s the only way.
    Back in the late 90s I got smacked in the mouth with a bar, one of my front teeth was badly damaged but dentist repaired it.
    It had killed the tooth so it went black but that didn’t bother me.
    About 2010 I started to get abscesses a couple of times of year, the dentist recommended an apicoectomy (horrible procedure) that worked for about 7 years.
    Last abscess I had was worse than been smacked with the bar originally.
    Didn’t fuck about had it taken out, a bit pissed though because it was the first tooth I’ve had to have out. Also I’ve only got one filling.
    I just wish it wasn’t one of my front teeth, I’ve just had a big gap there since.

    • Look on the bright side Alcatraz-sucking up spaghetti like a pro will woo dem’ Italian ladies and the gap will aid cunnilingus😉👍

    • Your right Alcy, I want it pulled just waiting now,
      Had them before, poisonous little fuckers!
      Named mine Owen.😀

      • I don’t know if you’ve ever done it MNC but popping one is the best,and the worst experience at the same time.
        The pain of squeezing it, and then the taste when it goes are horrendous. But then the pain goes instantly.

      • I had one drained by a little Chinese emergency dentist,
        He pulled the tooth and I called him all the names under the sun, you could smell the infection in the room,
        But it felt a lot better!
        Warm salt water gargles help,but best thing is the tooth out eh?

      • To be honest LL,
        I scared the shit out of him,
        Didn’t mean to, but it stung like fuck, and had to swear a bit.
        I apologised like,
        Think hed be used to being swore at being a Chinaman wouldn’t you?

  13. I have the same problem – a fluctuate abscess and two loose teeth in the upper left jaw. I took the antibiotics then the dentist sent me an email with the quote to remove them and replace them. She wanted £200 to remove each tooth, so £400. Can’t remember the replacement cost but it was astronomical. Fuck off I’ll wait for them to drop out. That was about 2 months ago and the things are still hanging on.

  14. had this shit before,most uncomfortable painful time til the antibios worked then the big bastard tooth out. barely slept dutring that time.
    What i dont understand is i been told i have 3 absceses at the moment,they are no bother at all just now and have to wait til they kick off and a repeat of the above ensues…..so,why cant i get the antibios now and the acesses would surley be sorted out precluding later misery???

  15. I had a cunt of an abcess nearly thirty year’s ago. My dentist, who was quite a humourous chap, prescribed Amoxycillin and mentioned that it was the same medication as given to cases of clap (I can’t spell gonnorea properly), and also mentioned that the reason why you should not imbibe in alcohol while on antibiotics, was originally that pissed up people being treated for clap with antibiotics, become inhibited and fuck everyone/anything, before the course of treatment became effective.
    He also mentioned that the abcess, when cleared up, would leave a sinus (a hole) in the bone surrounding the root of the tooth, which eventually would cause the tooth to fall out, and leave an interesting specimen of skull for future paleoarchiologists.
    He was was a top bloke, who sadly took his own life a few years after retiring.

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