Oh dear, what can the matter be? Little Owen’s no longer at the fair. Yes I know, cunters. It’s that man again, but I make no apologies for being unable to resist punting the ball into an open goal.

Spewing his usual bile in arsewipe comic ‘The Groaniad’ at the turn of the year, the shitweasel rants on that *gulp* ‘the Tories plan an assault on progressive Britain’! It seems that ‘for the Tory right, Brexit was a blunt instrument to remodel society in its own image… an authoritarian power grab beckons…assault on our institutions and human rights… Johnson’s refusal to apologise for his back catalogue of racism and homophobia… the far right threat against minorities and the left will heighten, the latter will be portrayed as a dangerous rabble…’ *burble blah*.

Be very afraid, cunters: Big Bad Boris the Bogey Man is coming to get us all! Er, not quite Owen. You’re experiencing what is known in psychiatric circles as ‘paranoid delusions’; in layman’s terms, you’ve flipped out, you’ve lost the plot. Take your meds, have a lie down, and ponder the reality of the situation. In December 2019, the electorate had a cold, hard look at what your loony left ‘dangerous rabble’ had to offer, and decided in their millions that they weren’t having it. You got your arses handed to you on a plate.

As far as you personally are concerned, more and more people are becoming sick and tired of the sight and sound of you, relentlessly gobbing off about your so-called ‘progressive’ agenda while sneering your right little know-all smirk. It’s hard for a self-regarding little cunt like you to grasp I know, but we just don’t like you. Now fuck off over there and for heaven’s sake shut up, there’s a good chap.

Nominated by Ron Knee

I nominate Fida Hussain for being a complete and utter cunt. The goat shagger has complained to McDonald’s about being given a sausage muffin claiming when he bit into it, he didn’t realise it was pork and is demanding an apology and get this: financial compensation from McDonald’s.

What an utter cunt. An apology is one thing, but to demand financial compo because it went against his beliefs? Funny, but I have never heard about this situation from any other faith. What a leeching cunt.

He can go and tell some squaddie from Colchester barracks or Catterick his sob story and see what response he would get

Nominated by Sidthesexistsforeskin

Cunts who have number plates on their cars made up to look like their names….

Had a couple of cunts the last few days, and it’s always cars like Mercedes or BMW’s. Now it’s not that I am jealous of the fuckers, but what boils my piss is how the cunts drive too. They all drive like they have all the time in the world getting somewhere, but after a hard day’s graft, I just want to get home as soon as possible, but these self-centered fuckers drive at 20 miles an hour down a country lane, hard braking every time they come to a bend in the road. FFS, and how do they get away with an illegal number plate on their car?

I work in a garage and we make number plates for cars. When one of the scrotes wants a plate made with their name – like letters and numbers (a quasi legal way) I say our plate machine won’t print it.

Fuck them.

Nominated by Sidthesexistsforeskin

Labour leadership candidate Clive Lewis has said there should be a referendum on the future of the Royal Family.

Speaking at his campaign launch in London, he said: “A lot of people would like to see the monarchy scaled down. Publicity for my campaign, waffle waffle , court controversy, waffle waffle waffle . I’m a cunt, power to the people! Etc….

The Labour Party: what the fuck is going on? It’s like they have become a gigantic meta-cunt. Politicians are generally a reprehensible bunch of arse, but Labour just seems to be imploding. I wonder if there isn’t some sort of brain disease infecting them with a 1970s Communist cunt virus that’s escaped from a lab in Siberia due to climate change melting the permafrost that they buried their guinea pigs from the gulags in.

Please Labour, get a fucking grip. Without decent opposition, governments however well intentioned get stupid in short order. And right now, with front runners like this fuckwit, we could actually find ourselves without any decent checks and balances, and relying on Nicola Sturgeon to provide that essential opposition. You couldn’t make it up…thank fuck it’s Friday (at the time of writing).

Nominated by GGRF

Clive Lewis: Talk about a stuck fucking record! Thursday night, he was on question time, whining on about how the Sussex woman (I’m not saying her name, I’m sick of hearing it) fucked off to Canada because of all the racism she experienced in the UK, though I don’t think anyone really gave a fuck and I can’t imagine she was actually abused in person. You don’t meet many people when you’re either in a palace, a mansion, or a private jet.

Then on some Sunday politics programme, Labour leader hopeful Clive brings up the subject of racism again, this time implying that the Brexit vote was only successful because Boris and Farage appealed to the racists with their inflammatory rhetoric. He then went on to say that there were many black people that were scared on the morning of the result. Not sure why, because many were probably born here, and those that weren’t probably didn’t come from Europe, so how would leaving the EU make a difference to them more than anybody else?
It seems that with the Labour Party leadership election, there isn’t a candidate that hasn’t called half the electorate racist, sexist or thick.

Didn’t they learn anything from Hilary and her basket of deplorables quote, or their massive failure at the last election?

Nominated by Gutstick Japseye

Not enough votes to get nominated? Never mind, Clive. Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out.